Problems of girls
Many innocent girls embrace fear, first of all, that the first time can be painful. But the pain, as a rule, is small with minimal bleeding. It depends on the type of hymen. It closes the entrance to the vaginal tissues and usually has the shape of a ring, but sometimes it happens that it resembles a sieve. Sex for the first time can cause pain and cause severe bleeding if the girl has a thick hymen. If after copulation of a lot of blood and it expires for more than two hours - it is better to see a doctor. Girls also fear that they will become pregnant after the first act. This fear, in general, is justified. Note that even a virgin can become pregnant if she has fertile days. And one moment. Some girls are very worried, if after the first act they did not have blood. The partner accuses them of infidelity, especially it concerns the Muslim customs. Information for men: the absence of bleeding during first sex does not always mean that the girl is not a virgin. Everything depends on the structure and thickness of the hymen.
Fears of Boys
Panic causes them the idea of ​​premature ejaculation. Since this situation often happens with young lovers, it is better when the girl starts to caress the partner before orgasm. This reduces tension and the young man will focus more on the sensations before and during direct coition. Boys are very sensitive to the point of their penis. They are constantly worried about its size, shape, or that it is too small or curve. They also expect gentle words, full of support and acceptance.
Common fears
You, of course, read about the first relationship, heard the recognition of friends who have already been "behind" the first time. You've heard a lot of fables about how it hurts, terribly, unpleasantly. However, there were legends about endless orgasms, loss of consciousness from pleasure and other nonsense. Having studied the anatomy of the male and female body, you will find out that neither extreme is the norm. There should not be much pain, but orgasm should not be expected from the first sex. If the hymen is thin - you may not even feel any pain. If it is very dense, it can be impossible to "break" it in the usual way. Sometimes the hymen should be removed in the department of gynecological surgery.
What will be your "first time" - it depends on you. Cast off the fear of pain and bleeding. Fear of pregnancy, too, should not bother you - take care of contraception beforehand. In sex in general there should be no doubts and fears, nothing should be deterred or frightened. If you have doubts, such as "whether this is this boy, is this really what I want, do I want to stay with him forever?", Then it's probably too early for you to enter into a serious relationship. Your partner in talking about sex is bold and confident, but in fact shy and lost? He is afraid of premature ejaculation and that he will not work like a man. Often it (as well as many teenagers) is accompanied by shame of nudity, and sometimes some complexes connected with a kind of the body. He can think: "My body is fine, but I have too little penis." Thus comes fear. Are you sure that you will succeed? So it will be, if you both really want this. But often the boy insists on the beginning of sexual activity, and the girl needs more time to mature emotionally for this decision. Haste can be a bad advisor here, and working under pressure is the worst solution.
The most important thing is that you both want this intimacy. If you really love, if you need this one-of-a-kind man - start with him your sex life. And even if for the first time everything is not perfect - do not think that it will always be like this. Sex with time can acquire new colors, you will know each other better, learn to guess the needs and desires of a partner. The first sex is a wonderful and unforgettable moment. If this is the case, then the continuation of sexual activity may include great satisfaction. If the "first time" will be with a casual partner, in a random situation, perhaps under the influence of alcohol, then do not expect that sex will bring you joy in the future. Most likely, everything will be accompanied by disappointment, not emotion and romantic ecstasy. In the future, you might even think that you do not want to have sex at all. The first time can affect your entire future sex life.
Where to have sex for the first time?
Ideally, if possible, it is better to spend your first night in a familiar setting for you. For example, in your room where you would feel safe and completely relaxed. Comfort will provide you with a comfortable bed with fresh linen, located next to the bathroom. You must have plenty of time to enjoy the affinity with your partner. If you are afraid of parental raids, it is better to use the time of their leave or departure, even if the first night is to take place in a tent. The onset of sexual activity is a rather tense moment. It's bad if you have to listen constantly if the front door does not open! The atmosphere is very important. Courage will give you a dim light, quiet, romantic music will relax you. Young girls who are not yet accustomed to their bodies are usually ashamed of their nudity. They are also horrified by the kind of erect member - it seems to them too big. It's better if you first make love by candlelight or in the light of a bed lamp.
You have to be sure that you choose a place where you will feel safe, where there will be a good atmosphere. Ideally, make sure that no one and nothing will interfere. Just put everything in the plan so that nothing can surprise you. You will be able to think only of yourself. Own home, where everyone feels safe, is an ideal place for the first intimate dates. Only in a calm atmosphere you will find a romantic trip to the unknown, enjoying new emotions - this, of course, is unforgettable.
If you can not predict where you will be the first sex and what conditions will be there - observe at least the most important details. Remember, it will be important for you: is the room closed, where voices do not reach neighbors, is the bed comfortable, are contraceptive measures taken. Additional conditions - a passing lamp, beautiful and clean underwear, a favorite smell of smoldering incense, quiet music - are preferable, but not necessary. First of all, sex for the first time - is the relationship of partners. Do not try to plan the whole process to the smallest detail. There will necessarily be unforeseen troubles, and the problems will only accumulate. Rather, you need to imagine how it will be good, as you will be pleased. Planning scenarios and schemes, as a rule, is not justified. Do not forget that you are doing this for the first time, and you are faced with a situation where you do not yet know what can wait for you.
Contraception
Some girls think that with the first sex you can not get pregnant. It is not true! In addition, it is the first time that the risk of contracting infectious diseases is higher, since there are internal injuries where infections can easily penetrate. So it is necessary to be protected for the first time. It is best to use a condom. Well, if you pre-try to "apply" it, learning how to put on, for example, fingers. Proper use of a condom is very important. The boys assume that the condom can be simply pulled up to the stop so that it does not slip. But on the tip, you must leave a cavity for the sperm, otherwise the condom will simply be torn. It is better to buy condoms in a pharmacy - so reliable. They should by no means be obsolete, such as this one, which he wore in his beloved jeans pocket for a year. He must also have a certificate of quality. Condoms of good quality are equipped with a lubricant that facilitates penetration. This is extremely important when it comes to sex for the first time - it's foolish not to use the advice of specialists. The condom does not weaken the sensation at all. If it is selected correctly - you generally will not feel it.
Most girls believe that the first rapprochement is completely safe. This is not true! If you have grown enough to start a sexual life, you should go to the gynecologist and talk to him about your plans. Your doctor can help you choose the best contraceptive for you. The simplest can be a condom, but remember that this is not one hundred percent safety. Talk to your partner about what he thinks about the methods of protection. Usually this question will reveal his true attitude towards you. Care is expressed in responsibility for the health of the partner. If he really loves you, he will agree to protect himself correctly.
Best poses for first sex
To begin with, it is better to use classical positions. The so-called "missionary pose" is the best option. So you can fully control the actions of a partner, see the reaction of each other, express tenderness and love. Do not be in a hurry, be sensitive and do not be afraid. Think of good things. Remember that only you know yourself and your body, you know your reactions to individual things and your needs. Do not worry if you do not experience orgasm for the first time. Nevertheless, everything is before you!
The most important thing is that you should feel loved and desired, and not just hear kind words. Your partner may not even know that you need his confessions, assurances of feelings and whisper in your ear. Men do not want to talk in the bedroom, because they have the most vulnerable eyesight, and you have a hearing. However, over time, your loved one will learn to whisper good words to you, pamper your body and slowly discover the most sensitive places. Be patient! Not everything that you need, you can do right now. Sometimes you have to show your partner what gives you pleasure. Spontaneity is also important! Read books, learn a variety of tips and tips, but make your own decisions. Choose what's good for you. You better know what you want and what you really need. And when it comes to closeness, first of all, do not panic. Of course, you have every right to feel insecure, but try to be calm and relaxed, then everything will go smoothly.
When everything is already behind
This applies, more likely, to men. Do not forget that your partner needs your help now. Tell her a few kind words and hug - so you have the opportunity to demonstrate your masculinity. Maybe you want to stay close still in bed, you can take a shower together, and perhaps you will feel a little uncomfortable. Or maybe you just want to shut up and you may wish to extend this minute of silence. Respect each other's needs. Do not plan immediate care after the act. Emotion on this day will be enough - take care of a good night, and not a superfluous additional experience. Try to spend as much time together as possible. And the memories of what you experienced, leave only for yourself. Do not take them out on people, even in a friendly circle, because this immediately ceases to be just yours.
Additional tips
Do not dare to decide on sexual relations only because you can not resist the pleas of your lover. The first time is not the best opportunity to try yourself in some complicated sexual positions. As soon as you feel the minimal pain, indicating the rupture of the hymen, as soon as possible, lie on your back, stretch your legs and slightly bend them in your lap. Place the pillow under the buttocks - so the penetration will be softer and painless. Do not worry if you do not have an orgasm. Stress reduces excitement and makes your body slightly less susceptible to weasels. This is normal. You must not pretend that you are dying of ecstasy. After a while you will learn to get a genuine pleasure from sex. You have the right to change your decision at any time, explaining to your partner why you say "no."