Does the question really torment us: when exactly to "assign" the first sex? To be frank, we are not concerned with the very time of the beginning, but with the male reaction to our behavior in this situation. After all, if we did not depend on it, then the time of the first sex would be determined by us much easier and more spontaneously.
Most often, we ask the question "is it already possible or not?" in two cases: before sex, if the candidate is of great value to us or already after, if the sex happened somehow suspiciously fast.
The question is relevant, but one general answer to the question "when to start and whether it is possible to have sex on first dates without compromising the image in his eyes" is hardly possible. (And this was proved by the results of a survey of men on this topic).
This article is an occasion for reflection, analysis of our actions and behavior, as well as another opportunity to learn what they think about IT. In the process of interviewing and analyzing the literature on fast-sex, several clear trends emerged. Very encouraging, I must say.
The first trend
A single male opinion on the theme "women-who-did-it" - no. Honestly. Moreover, of all the respondents, only one percent said about women who allowed themselves to have fast sex with them, negatively.
The second trend
Society is changing, and with it, the criteria for evaluating women by men and society as a whole. Of course, honor and conscience are still in fashion, but the chastity displayed is often not delighted, but perplexity and the question: where does her game end and the interest and feelings begin to come to me? And can she really have nothing else to attract, except imaginary inaccessibility?
The slogan "If this happens quickly, he will think that I'm a girl of easy virtue" becomes more and more a myth. Understanding by society that women also need sex and increased women's independence allow men to abandon the stereotype of "gave fast - cheap" without compromising their male reputation. At least about it speak data of sociological interrogations - 70% of the interrogated men do not consider "immoral" sex on the first appointment.
In the vast majority of cases, for a negative assessment of a woman who allowed herself to go to bed after a couple of meetings after the acquaintance, there is a serious insecurity of the man in himself. But only. Self-confident and independent minded men evaluate fast sex as evidence of mutual interest, the level of confidence in themselves, as well as the degree of self-confidence of the woman herself.
Of course, there are exceptions, but in such an area as sex, manifestations of risk and spontaneity are natural, rigid rules can not exist here in principle.
The third trend
Although this is rather not a trend, but a debunking of another myth. The thesis "a man - a hunter, quickly getting what he wants, he will lose interest and dissolve in the crowd" has lost its relevance ... "Sex is part of communication, another way to get to know each other," men say. (I quote one of the statements).
And one more quote: "If sex was the only purpose of communication, then of course, after the first night, an abyss may be lost." Otherwise, the girl after the incident only becomes closer, opens a new face. "Rather, the relationship can be influenced by how she behaves after sex, for example, the chaos created by her in my room, a sharp familiarity avoids really. "
So for those who have become acquainted with you simply because you liked him, getting into your bed on a first date is not an excuse to brand you and wave goodbye to the moral code of the builder of communism.
As for those men who set themselves the high goal of seducing girls and considers this to be the main business of life ... They will in any case, sooner or later disappear, whether sex was immediately or 3 years after its attempts to achieve you. Rather sooner rather than later. Not because they were bored with you - they are bored with themselves. And do not notice this allows only a kaleidoscope of events and partners. So is there any point to worry about because of spontaneous, one-time sex with a similar collector? This night (or half an hour in the club's chill-out) is your new experience and, perhaps, good sex.
However, a spoonful of truth in this barrel of illusions about what is better later than before is still there. I will quote one of the respondents: "Sex after a certain period of communication and sex with a virtually unknown person - different things, emotions, experience, etc. Of course, sex" with a friend "can give fundamentally different things." We can confirm this idea on our own experience, is not it?
Sex with those who have certain feelings and just sex - different things! In addition, there is another aspect - to a more familiar person, you are more forgiving and assess it more gently (including in sex, and behavior before and after). But! To stop the development of events so that he appreciates your cleanliness and integrity - not the same as prolonging the candy-buketny period for the sake of a qualitatively different sex, sex of a different level of intimacy. You decide. But the second option for men (and smart women) seems more honest. Cleaner. Better orderly.
Trend Four
Independence and self-confidence can work miracles even in the most hopeless situations. Agree, it happens that on the above topics you think about after everything happened.
15 minutes after violent sex in the head begin to maddling questions: "And what will he think about me?" Suddenly he is that hardened conservative? And will he call? And what does he feel? How to behave? " Etc. Perhaps, psychologists would say that the best behavior in this situation is natural and calm. Based on respect for, respect for, and acceptance of the situation as it is, without dramatization.
Think: what actually happened? You expressed sympathy and interest in a person in a certain way. It just happened. It was yours and his choice. Is it so terrible and alarming?
And remember the advice of psychologists - behave calmly, but naturally. If you are very worried about the question of his attitude and evaluation of what happened - so specify, and gently and unobtrusively. For example, you can write an SMS like: "Hello, I'm a little confused because it happened so quickly, even got on the Internet to read opinions and articles on this topic." The answer sms, most likely, will clear many of your doubts.
But belated attempts to portray the intangible, babbling: "Oh, I've never allowed myself this before, oh, what you now think of me" is unlikely to save your image. Who likes to feel like a mistake or understand that they do not trust him?
So, it's up to you to decide when. If we consider that each case is individual, and each person is unique, it is logical to assume that there are no hard rules. But there is intuition, self-esteem, honesty in front of you and, most importantly, your own conscious choice. If in a relationship you want something more than to use stereotyped means for the sake of a stereotypical goal.