Many young mothers and dads in the first months of the baby's life are in a state of complete confusion. And it's understandable! Ignorance and inability of some things often lead to panic.
It's hard for a young mother to get used to her new status. After all, now she has to reckon not only with her desires, but also with the desires of the baby, who, as a rule, are beaten out of the habitual way of life. In fact, it is not so easy for parents to respond with a smile to the baby's animated walk at two in the morning, or calmly react to convulsive crying, for three hours in a row. The problems of the family at the birth of the first child are given special attention in psychology.
Do not forget that in addition to the newly acquired responsibilities related to the care and upbringing of the child, women also have old household tasks that have long been entrusted to them, such as cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing and extracting food. But still want to, as before, to monitor yourself. But going to a beauty salon or visiting a fitness club is a distant and almost impossible dream of many young mothers.
Solving all of the above problems is not easy, but it is possible. In organizational disciplines, there is such a thing as time management, which literally means "time management." And it's just with the lack of free time, and most of the difficulties mentioned are connected, which is why as a guide to action let's take the basic concepts and principles time management.
Organization of space and places
Important: any kid, even the most restless, can be carried away for 5-J0 minutes an interesting toy or a new occupation. During the game, never get all the toys at once, remove some of them to the upper, inaccessible shelf, so that the kid will forget about them. After a while, "hidden" toys get out, and "played" remove. In this case, the game will bring the child pleasure and will not be bored too quickly.
In each room where you visit during the day, organize a kind of game center for the baby, where he will play while you are doing your thing. As the game center can serve many devices, for example, children's swings, highchair or chaise longue, a game mat, a colorful blanket or diaper, with toys laid out on it.
If you need to move from one room to another, place a place for your kid's games in the middle, so that you can be seen and heard, talk to the crumb, in every way support the effect of your presence.
Where you are most often, usually such a room is a living room or kitchen, create a whole playing field consisting of several "stations", at each "station" the child will stay until he gets bored. After that, the game "station" changes to the next one, for example, a swing - a rug - a chaise lounge - a gaming center, etc.
Following the time mode
Important: Be guided by the needs and behavior of the child, listen and look at it as often as possible. Treated eyes - it's time to sleep, laugh and active, then you can still play, if the baby has a dreamy mood - lie with him on the bed or tell an entertaining tale. Anyway, any kid will come to his certain regime and do not create chances for the development of family problems at the birth of the first child.
Proceed from the generally accepted formula: wakefulness - food - sleep.
The sequence of these components will vary depending on the age of the child and on his temperament. In the first year of the baby's life, his regime changes very often, and therefore your regime will undergo the same frequent changes. Despite this, knowing the order of actions and preferences of your crumbs, you can build your own schedule of daily necessary things, even for a short period of time.
It is important to gradually accustom the child to the constant predictable order of certain events. For example, first a meal, then a game and a bath, then a small cartoon, then a book and bedding, a dream. No less important is the certainty for mother. Create your own daily action algorithm. For example, in the morning cooking, going to the store, cleaning in the evening, evening ironing. Knowing the next focus of the next lesson, you will not waste time deciding on choosing one.
Planning your own business
It's important: do not try to keep up with your former, "childless" pace, when you managed to do one hundred and one of the hundred planned things in advance. "The saying:" We still have the whole night ahead ... "is now also inappropriate. Go to a less fast, smoothly flowing and more consistent rhythm. Remember that at this time the center of the universe is your child, and you, his parents, as satellites, must turn day and night around, protecting him and helping him.
When designing an action plan for the day, do not include too many cases at once. Do not try to solve all the tasks at once. Sketch yourself a short list of what you would like to do today. Correct it, add or remove items if you see that you are out of schedule.
Plan no more than 2-3 cases per day. Otherwise, a lot of started, but unfinished business will oppress you.
If you are a lark, you have the opportunity to get up a little earlier than the child and to re-do some of the things you planned before he wakes up, if the owl can - fruitfully work after you put the baby to bed. In any case, the lack of hours of sleep is better to replenish during the day, having nailed for an hour or two together with a small fidget.
Organization of its time
Important: try to be more careful about your free time. If possible, pay equal attention to yourself, your husband and all members of your family. To do this, do not focus on the speed and exclusivity of fulfilling your former responsibilities. If earlier you cooked without stress on Thursdays baked carp, and on Sundays - a cake "Napoleon", then at the moment you can descend to more earthly things, for example, once a month to pamper yourself and relatives with charlotte. And in the remaining time from cooking, husband of the new film, sitting on the sofa in an embrace.Most likely, the lack of culinary delights in such a simple way will be more than compensated.
For each lesson, take no more than 20 minutes. Especially since more time you probably will not. If the scheduled business takes a longer time, break it into equal intervals so that you can continue what you started after the break.
For example, cleaning an apartment: we start with wiping the dust, then we will wash the floor, at the end of the chain - wash the dishes. All breaks, of course, are devoted to the entertainment of your karapuz and care for him. During this time, you can get a new toy, collect a pyramid or read a book, feed it, change a diaper or change your panties.
Agree that there is no need to stand and look at how the soup is cooked, or to watch the washing machine in operation.
Combining actions
Important: Combine only compatible cases. Both cases should be fun and pleasant for the child, and, of course, do not burden you. A three-hour trip to the shopping center with a stroller is not the best example.
Try to take advantage of the combination of classes that are already familiar to you and take a considerable amount of time. For example, you can do physical exercises during walks in the park, children's activities in the pool, playing with the baby at home or even feeding. A joint bath or shower will also be beneficial for both.
Do not get too carried away by your interests. Take care that the child is comfortable and relaxed.
Prioritization
Important: Sometimes it is difficult to separate events in importance. Focus on the sign of emergency. For example, if you do not eat, then you will not have the strength for everything else, if you do not rest, then you will walk irritated, and all of this will only get worse. If you do not wash children's things, then the child will not have anything to crawl in tomorrow. Sometimes you should transfer a certain action (left by you for later) to the first place in time, since in the future you may not have the opportunity to perform it.
Divide all the cases into urgent and current. Do first all urgent, and then, if you have free time or gradually throughout the day - current. Put your interests and the child first. Choosing between your dinner and washing the sexes, do not hesitate - go eat lunch.
Delegation of authority
It is important: no matter how much you want to do this, it's very difficult to cope with the whole heap of responsibilities, old and newly acquired ones. Even it seems that you are coping with everything, but the quality of doing things will be below what you want. Which, in turn, will give you undue anxiety. And your nervous system will not thank you for the workload. Learn to distribute responsibilities among all members of your family. Try to trust them with the work that you once did solely. And, please, do not stress your attention to the fact that their version of its execution does not always reach the ideal you once set.
Initially, distribute all responsibilities between family members - all who live with you in the same house. Over time, each of them will form a range of tasks that you do not need to worry about. Remain only occasionally reminded especially "forgetful" about an unfulfilled or unfinished errand.Don't hesitate to shift your duties or ask for help in difficult moments.
It is also necessary that your husband and other relatives take part in the care of the newborn. You do not have to be the only person in the family who can change a diaper or bathe a child. Try to attract others to these seemingly difficult tasks. Over time, the degree of their mastery will be as high as yours.
If it's hard for you to entrust other cases that require special "maternal" responsibility to others, limit yourself to a set of instructions that will not cause you any concern, but do not be afraid to expand the boundaries of trust! For example, you can ask your husband to take a walk with a baby who is fast asleep in a wheelchair or play with He is in the cubes on the rug .Surely even the most inexperienced dad will cope with such tasks.