Even if your bed of love is covered with sheets, admit - not everything goes smoothly and ends successfully. Impotence and frigidity are traditionally difficult topics for discussion. What if your husband can not perform his conjugal duties or do you not want to do this? Is it possible to go to the camp of a- or even antisexuals? Let's try to deal with these "sensitive" issues and consider the main sexual problems of married couples.
FIRST LOSSES
According to statistics, 60% of men experience potency problems from time to time. It is understandable: the male organism is not a machine, so that each time it starts from the "start" button. If your partner has not been able to get excited for the first time and satisfy you, do not worry, get offended and even more so diagnose him. Analyze, with what it can be connected? Maybe your husband is tired at work? Perenervnichal? Did you eat a lot at dinner? Feeling bad? Did he abuse alcohol? The reasons for the first failure can be many. The main thing is to find the one that prevented you, and eradicate it. First of all, review the family ration. If you dine with fatty meat with French fries, wash it with fortified wine, and then "polish" the cake with boiled condensed milk, it's no wonder that sooner or later your loved one will not be able to fulfill his conjugal duty. The best way to maintain a love fuse in it is to prepare the body for exciting sensual adventures. So, seafood is an ideal evening meal. They contain zinc, phosphorus, iron and mineral salts. To "love" products are also bananas, nuts and honey. Try to eat differently and do not get carried away with alcohol. Too much wine or liquor will rather work as a sedative.
How to behave?
Analyze events.
To correct the situation.
Change the way of life. The first mistake can not be the only one. And because this does not happen, try to spend as much time in the fresh air, eat right. Do sports and, most importantly, do not forget about compliments and pleasant words - this is the best stimulant.
HAS THE MOMENT COMED?
"In my youth, I managed to change eight partners and I did not experience orgasm with anybody, " says 35-year-old Olga. - At first, I lacked the psychological effect of sex. I felt happy that I was interested, including sexually. Sex was interesting in itself, as something new and "forbidden." But later I began to worry: after all, I have been living an active sex life for three years and have never even been excited as described in books! And just getting married, I realized what real sex is. My husband was very attentive and gentle, we studied my body together . "
The type of frigidity that Olga has encountered, fortunately, is temporary. It's just that not all women have sensitivity at the same speed. Someone is able to experience orgasm before the first closeness (independently), and others - only after many years. If sex is just pleasant for you, but you do not get a discharge, you just have to wait a bit.
What to do?
Learn your body on your own and with your partner.
Experiment. Sometimes acquired in a sex shop vaginal balls, vibrator and lubricants open up "new horizons" in sex.
Peeping. Sexologists consider voyeurism (within the framework of reasonable, of course) the best means for developing sensuality.
"FIASCO" ALL MORE THAN
It's sad, but 70% of women can complain that their husbands often refuse to have sex. If such sexual problems become regular, you need to start acting. Remember the ancient women's secrets: do not forget to add horseradish, thyme, anise, mint, celery, coriander and asparagus to the dishes, regularly use onions and garlic, season salads with olive oil and serve dessert for dates-they have an exciting effect. But the popular Russian aphrodisiac gold root, or ginseng, should be used carefully - do not pour it secretly into her husband's pasta. The dose of the golden root should be selected individually, so before using it is better to consult a doctor. Many naively believe that prelude is needed only for women. In fact, men are also much better excited after stroking and oral sex. Imagination and knowledge of physiology are your trump cards in the struggle for the potency of a partner. However, it is possible to act independently only for the time being. Your partner may not understand the problem until you tell him yourself about it. Convince him not to worry and not to worry. Do not stress the problem. If suddenly at a critical moment the erection is gone, do not worry, and switch to something else - caress each other, watch a movie, talk heart to heart. A man should feel that you like being with him, regardless of whether you have sex today or not.
How to start a conversation?
Choose the time and place. Psychologists strongly recommend not to talk about men's problems in the bedroom and in the evening.
Get rid of feelings of guilt, embarrassment and embarrassment. Remember: you are not to blame for what is happening to your husband, but you must help him.
Talk about the root cause. Do not independently diagnose your partner, especially since erectile dysfunction is just a consequence of more serious diseases. Carefully, choosing a place and time, ask her husband to undergo an examination to identify the root cause of the disease and eliminate it.
IT'S TEMPORARILY
If the sex of married couples from an exciting game turned into a "conjugal duty", although previously they did not experience similar problems, it is necessary to undergo a medical examination. Temporary frigidity can occur due to diseases of the genitals, complications during childbirth, hormonal insufficiency or intoxication. Depression, fatigue and even the "on duty" lack of vitamins can also cause a temporary decrease in sexual desire. "At first, I blamed my husband for everything ," Zhanna recalls. - It seemed to me that he "spoiled", began to do everything "wrong" and did not try to please me at all. And six months later I went to a scheduled examination to the gynecologist, and it turned out that the problem was in me: a strong vaginal dysbiosis reduced the sensitivity to almost zero. As soon as I underwent a course of treatment, everything returned to its proper place . " If the doctor claims that everything is in order with you - refresh your relationship. Take a vacation and spend a "honeymoon.
How can I tell my husband?
Renounce the charges. Do not say that you are tired of a partner and sex with him has become boring to you - he can be offended and shut up in himself. Offer, not insist, try, and do not command.
Be honest and frank. Do not be afraid of your confessions. In the end, only two can solve this problem, and therefore your husband should become your ally.
THE SCARY DIAGNOSIS
"When the doctor told me that I had erectile dysfunction, I was ready to fall through the ground. It's hard to put up with the fact that you're impotent. I wanted to scream, swear at the doctor, insult him! Is it really over for me ?! " Oleg shares his impressions. Be prepared for the fact that your husband's first wrath will come upon you. Do not take offense at his bad mood, screams and even hysterics. He must go through three stages of awareness of his illness - aggressive rejection, self-pity and acceptance of the situation. Only by reconciling, he can feel the strength to recover, and your task is to be with him at this difficult time.
How to behave?
Do not be sorry. Understanding and sympathetic views, diminutives and caressing names and expressions of regret will reach for sore throats and flu, but not for erectile dysfunction. Your partner is now hurt, because the loss of libido is the strongest male fear. Do not turn into a caring mom you his wife, girlfriend and mistress at the same time, even if for now you do not have sex.
Do not move away. Do not despair and put a cross on carnal love. You must be attentive to each other. Problems with potency can not stop you from caressing each other's hands, discovering new erogenous zones, kissing and enjoying each other in many different ways.
WORKING ON ERRORS
"I never raised a topic of sex in my family, " Anna says. - Naturally, I knew where the children come from - according to the stories of girlfriends and classmates, and at the age of 12 even took the medical encyclopedia from my parents. But, for example, when I started menstruating, I did not even know how to tell my mother about it - she was sure that I absolutely do not know what it is . " Anna still can not get rid of the perception of sex as something shameful, something that is not spoken out loud, and, of course, never experienced an orgasm in her life. Causes of psychological frigidity may be different: too painful deprivation of virginity, marriage with the unloved, fear of unwanted pregnancy, rape, inattentive partner, strict upbringing. Sometimes psychological enslavement is directed at a particular person, and you can get rid of it by changing your sexual partner. But more than excessive zazhatost women will help overcome only long-term stable relationships that form sexual attachment to a partner - they will awaken in her sensuality. In any case, it is better to contact a specialist (sexologist or psychologist) who will help determine the root cause of frigidity and will indicate the correct direction of solving the sexual problem of a married couple in the whole.
THE WONDERFUL TABLET
Viagra and its analogues stimulate the enzyme responsible for the reaction to excitation, which ensures a steady erection and a rapid recovery of forces. Although initially the drug was intended for men "at an age", it is used by young people who want to "hedge". For many men, Viagra allows you to gain self-confidence. And, oddly enough, this effect works: a man relaxes, focuses on pleasure and is easily excited, and the tablets only support the desire. But the medicine also has side effects: your husband may experience changes in color perception, headaches and even exacerbation of heart diseases. To take a great interest in Viagra it is not necessary. Before applying, be sure to consult a doctor and buy the medicine only in a trusted pharmacy.