Start.
No matter how hard the feminists try, the patriarchal order is still very strong. Since ancient times, men have been allowed much more, weeks to women and are allowed to this day. All this is quite scientific justification, but it does not get better from this. For treason, her husband could be scolded or disgusted, for betraying his wife was beaten, often to death. Even now there are such wild cases.
The call for patience helped many generations of women survive. Men's nature was justified by any means, thereby encouraging violence. Female manifestations of character locked in a clear framework, prescribing its place at home, in society.
It's strange why girls still choose the husbands of those who are potentially capable of violence. It's no wonder if such a husband gets a girl who has repeatedly observed how her own father in such ways teach the mother's life. This subconscious desire to choose a husband resembling a father, in many women it manifests itself unconsciously.
It also happens that a girl from a wealthy family marries and lives with a man for years, who considers assaulting to be the norm. This can be a fatal accident, and maybe a consequence of low self-esteem and a pathological sense of guilt. In the depths of the soul, many women feel that they deserve such an attitude, however paradoxical it may sound.
It is noticed that the more a woman is prone to sacrifice, the more she belittles her own self, the more envious and inert, the higher the probability of having such a tyrant in her husbands. And, on the contrary, confident girls, who may even be excessively proud, tend to be more likely to be a tyrant in the family. But they will not allow themselves such an attitude.
In fact, if the problem in the choice of men, relations with which go under the same scenario, when a woman is a victim, does exist, then it is possible to eliminate it in modern ways. Psychoanalysis and psychology as a whole have moved far enough to rid people of complexes that prevent them from being happy.
What happens in reality.
Public opinion on the issue of domestic violence is far from unambiguous. As a rule, all respondents on this topic respond that violence in modern society is unacceptable. Moreover, men and women hold back about the same opinion on this issue. But this is only what sounds in words. In fact, opinions on this issue diverge.
Many men and women believe that they beat only those who deserve it, that beatings can be justified in many other cases that have nothing to do with self-defense. Some agree that some rare beatings do better, help stop hysteria or teach something. Approximately 30% of men believe that this is quite normal - for various reasons, but they are convinced that women deserve beatings in some situations.
It seems strange that about 25% of women agree with men.
What do we have to do.
In fact, if you do not like the role of the victim and you really would like to change your life, it all depends on you. First, go before the man lifts his hand to you. Failures rarely begin without causes and without symptoms, it is usually noticeable when a man is ready to cross the line. Do not try to heroize, go.
Secondly, do not think that you leave things at home, what will happen to you further. The decision to accept you will be later. Your second task is to go to a safe place to friends or relatives. In extreme cases, contact the police.
If the beatings were inflicted, do not delay. Address to the police, despite the feelings that you feel for this person and, despite how much you feel guilty about it. If you do not say anything, you will encourage attempts to repeat it again.
Bring witnesses, who can be all those who saw on you the signs of beating.
Thirdly, do not leave your state as it is. Apply for psychological help in specialized centers or private psychologists.
Fourthly, do not rush to forgive and believe the man's promise that this was the last time. As a rule, having felt their power, it is very difficult for people to be from it. Think about the next time your children may be in your place.
Freedom and the chance to live a happy life with a man more suitable to you are much more expensive than those relationships that you lose for such a weighty reason. In such cases, the love of a man should not outweigh the love for himself. In any case, the choice for how to live, whether to be a victim or a happy person - it's up to you.