As you know, you can not argue with nature, but modern psychologists say that the popes who were present at the birth of the child, the feeling of paternity arises from the first minutes of the appearance of the baby, whereas for men deprived of this opportunity it will be formed over several years. And they say, nothing strengthens the family like a joint birth of a child. However, at the same time they emphasize that all these bright prospects are expected only by those couples who have harmoniously survived pregnancy and childbirth, for which this time flowed in an atmosphere of love and support. And this is possible only if you approach the process consciously, first to understand your own fears. Should a man be present at the birth of his wife - the topic of the article.
In due time I long tried to persuade the husband to be present at sorts. What are the only arguments I did not bring! She claimed that it was he who would be the first person to be imprinted in the memory of a newborn baby that I alone would die of fear and pain in a completely unfamiliar place that someone should control the actions of the doctors while I do not understand anything ... My emotional demands, alas, almost had no effect. Until we together attended classes in preparation for childbirth, where the main myths about what modern men fear as a fire were debunked. They explained to us: the man who was forced to attend the births, will only harm the process, here the mutual desire is important. As a result, I fell behind my husband, and he unexpectedly agreed with all my considerations and, when the time came, went with me to the hospital ...
Daddy's fears
Perhaps, most of all, modern men are afraid to feel helpless in a completely incomprehensible situation for them. The classic scene from the American film, where a happy father faints in front of a wife giving birth, is able to plunge the representatives of the stronger sex into the abyss of despair: what if this happens to me? Yes, psychologists recommend too much impressionable men to stay at home. However, the fathers who have received training courses, this scenario is unlikely to threaten - they are very well aware of what is happening at the time of the birth of the child, and in addition to American melodrames in their arsenal of repeatedly watched documentaries in which the process of birth is captured with all certainty. No less fear is associated with the widespread misconception that the presence of a man at birth affects the future sexual life of partners. In fact, childbirth only exacerbates hidden conflicts between spouses. And if the couple had problems with sex before the birth, during this period they will make themselves felt in full. But you can finally see the truth in your eyes and find a way to understand the situation. And one moment. Difficulties can arise in a couple where a man is an absolute leader who simply needs to keep everything under control. Such a dad will give advice and advice to doctors and his wife, and this only hinders the process. Therefore, it is important that a man realizes that here he has a second role assigned to him - an ambitious and proud future dads, it may be difficult to reconcile with this, but to participate in childbirth it is necessary to learn how to follow the course of events.
Chief Assistant
If, despite the pressure from relatives, own fears and fatigue accumulated during pregnancy, the pope still decided to go to the maternity ward, he should know that it's just not easy to watch the process. Of course, it is believed that the very presence of a loved one relieves stress and acts as an anesthetic. However, the only thing for which it is worth attending birth is to be an active participant in the process, on which the baby will easily come into a new world for him. According to experienced obstetricians, if a woman has the opportunity to relax during labor, the birth will pass easily and painlessly. And to create a space in which there are no grounds for fear and anxiety, only a man can. He will seriously ease his wife's task if, for example, he assumes a part of his duties: he will collect a bag with the necessary things in the maternity ward, make all the necessary calls to doctors and answer the nurse's questions upon arrival to the hospital. However, the main events will develop in the clan department, and here the help of the pope becomes truly invaluable. In that case, of course, if to the main moment of his life he came really prepared. Most training courses for childbirth learn to use anesthetic massage, special exercises that can significantly reduce discomfort during fights, all kinds of relaxation and breathing techniques. A woman completely immersed in her own sensations, as a rule, forgets all these wisdoms. But the man, being of sound mind and solid memory, can successfully apply the received knowledge in practice. True, the pope should remember that behaving during intense battles should be as tactful as possible, carefully listening to any wishes of a woman: suddenly it may turn out that some touches are unpleasant to her, and some exercises, on the contrary, bring more relief than all the others. It often happens that tender words and gentle touches do not cause anything but irritation. In this case, it is necessary to show wisdom and patience: it is important to understand that at this moment all negative emotions of the woman are directed not against the husband, but against the pain she is experiencing. Just calmly you need to treat shouts, moans and other emotions. But when the child is finally born, the pope can also afford to show emotions - at a time when the long-awaited baby comes into the world, it's almost impossible to contain tears of happiness. ... Looking at the happy husband holding a newborn son in my arms, I could not understand what really made him, despite his own convictions, get here, in the delivery room. The desire to support me in a difficult situation, pride in the fact that the son will not be born without his participation, or the curiosity that spurred him to go to this completely unknown space? "I do not know," he answered me, not taking his eyes off the peacefully snuffling baby, "I probably just realized that if I refuse, I will miss the main moment in my life ..."
10 Pope's Pleasant Duties
The Kid was born. You took an active part in this difficult process. It would be strange to stop at what has been achieved and leave all subsequent worries about your wife's crumbs. Dad can not only take care of the baby, but also get a real pleasure from it.
Go for a walk
Dad is strong, he can lift a ten-kilogram stroller with a light movement of one hand. Therefore, take on the responsibility to walk with the baby when time allows. On the street, children tend to like to sleep, so a happy parent who goes for a walk has a lot of free time to read a favorite book or call an old friend. Well, the benefit of being outdoors was also not canceled.
Dissect waves in the bathroom
Kids love to swim: water for them is a familiar element, so in the first three months of a child's life one can easily learn to swim and dive. True, this will require the help of a qualified specialist. Armed with information, the pope can become an experienced instructor. And how great to ride a small swimmer on big and strong hands on the water - first on the tummy, then on the back. Thanks to the baby there will be no limit.
Sing lullabies
Find your own way to calm the inconsolable baby - an exciting activity, if you apply a creative approach. It is known that babies cry when they want, eat and when they need to change a diaper. But if the cry is heard after the basic needs are met, it's time to offer the original idea. For example, to sing a lullaby in the style of rock, so that the kid stops at least with surprise.
Change roles
To give the opportunity to mother, always engaged in feeding-washing-ironing-cooking-cleaning, to enjoy a little sleep or a favorite occupation, the pope can take on household duties. One hand strokes the diapers, and the other - stirring the soup at first will not work, but over time the process can be improved and add to it, for example, communication with a child lying in a deckchair and with admiration, watching how dexterously dad simultaneously operates an iron and ladle .
Share the "night watch"
The duty to jump at night to children's calls mother will give with joy. The main difficulty is to learn for a few seconds to come to consciousness and navigate in space.
Say kind words
As a rule, men do not like to crumble in compliments. But in vain. From the words of support from his wife will necessarily rise in mood, and using diminutive caressing nicknames in relation to the baby, the pope will certainly earn the title of "the best in the world".
Take on shopping
Even if everything you need - a crib, a stroller, clothes, bottles and diapers - was bought before the baby was born, the wardrobe was not permanently updated: the children are growing rapidly; diapers are being consumed quickly; in the first months after childbirth, Mom is unlikely to want to go shopping either that the shopping will have to go to the Pope.
Call for help
Most nursing mothers idea to arrange a day off and go to the cinema or the theater for some reason even does not occur. Therefore, the organizer of the cultural program can only be the pope. His task - to ask grandmothers or girlfriends to sit with the baby, buy tickets and deliver a discouraged by the manifestation of such attention to his wife in the place of cultural leisure.
Do massage and gymnastics
To master several exercises for newborns is not at all difficult: it is enough to bend knobs and legs in a certain order. But then you can proudly show the results of training to the guests.
Create a home record
It is necessary to fix the most important events in the life of the baby - the first "aga", the first smile, the first steps ... Let him admire when he grows up!