When you suddenly say: "Get rid of this habit! She's stupid! "- you're becoming" uncomfortable ", right? What is he ... I always cut bread so ... Knife to myself ... I always have breakfast in front of the TV ... I understand you very much! Because our habits are nothing more than ourselves. Our personality. That we are in the eyes of other people. This statement at first seems ridiculous, yes?
But let's look deeper. What can a passer-by about you say about you? Most likely, it is not enough: it is the girl, harmonous, elegantly dressed, at it black eyes and dark hair. The most perceptive will notice: it seems that she is in love, or: something in her life is not so. Do you agree that the description that the casual passer-by gives you, is that you? No? Of course! He does not know your personality.
And how, for example, would describe you a man who, for example, would live with you 24 hours a day?
She gets up early, washed, dresses, likes to watch TV and chat with friends, loves going to discos and dreams of meeting a real man. More like the truth? Look, it's only because the person described your habits: get up early, wash, watch TV, chat with friends ... What else can you add to your description? What is not enough to describe your personality, except for enumeration of your habits ?
And some habits are for some reason called harmful.
A bad habit is something that prevents you from becoming perfect; such as you would like to be, and do what you are. Gnawing nails is not at all a bad habit for those who like to breed animals in their bodies and consider that accuracy is the lot of "glamorous youth." But charging in the morning can quite become a bad habit of a person who actively wants to grow fat.
Of course, these examples are comic. In addition to your personal relationship, there is also a social aspect: a bad habit is something that prevents you from becoming an ideal in the eyes of the "public". To admit, I myself do not know who she is - "the public". Professors call her "socium", psychologists - "collective unconscious", politics - "public opinion" ... Who she is - is unknown. But what it is, what it dictates its laws and affects our behavior and habits is for sure.
I think that after listening to the opinions of the "public", from which you can not escape, the men to whom we are so strongly drawn, we must listen to ourselves and decide: what prevents you from living the way you would like. After a moment's thought, you can answer this question yourself. In the meantime, I will list the most common habits that prevent living "in full", which "devour" our time, take control of our lives and prevent us from reaching what we could achieve.
Late to wake up
From this it all begins. You get up half an hour before you leave, you quickly wash your face, have breakfast, hastily apply makeup - and the day is the same "crumpled".
Source : most often it's just laziness. It's so nice to lie in an extra bed for a minute, especially with a close person. However, it happens that a person wakes up late because he does not enjoy the coming day, he is afraid of him ...
Consequence : the person ceases to dispose of time, and time starts to dispose of the person: presses, "takes by the throat" and forces you to do what you do not want to do.
How to get rid : get up an hour early. In the evening, prepare a "pleasant thought for the next day", plan a pleasant meeting or a sweet thought. For example, for the present you just wake up, mentally write an essay: meeting with the man of my dreams , or my triumph at work. When you dream - immediately get up and tidy up the bed so that there is no temptation to go back there, and do nice things: open the window and drink a cup of coffee. Listen to music. Sit in silence or make a good make-up.
Result : you will increase your life by at least an hour. Then - for another hour ... I will tell you a secret that psychologists have found the rate of sleep for a person per day: 5 hours - normal, 6 hours - little, 7 hours - little, and 8 - again normal. Do you understand? You can live 19 hours a day!
Be late
Delays on appointments, meetings, on airplanes and trains are another way to "miss" your life. In addition, that you do not show respect for people who are waiting for you, they stop taking you seriously.
Source: most likely, you do not want to go where you're going. Disorganization, "traffic jams" on the roads, "forgot the money at home" - these are only consequences.
Consequence: you stop trusting important things and are not serious - as an unsuccessful person.
How to get rid: first let yourself do not go to meetings, where you do not want to go. So you will reduce the number of delays by at least twice. Then, do not hurry. Late even for that meeting, which still appointed, call and cancel it. Just call ahead. If you still have to go, think and understand yourself: what stops you? Tracking your "barriers", you can easily cross them. Or do not step over - at your discretion.
The result : you "cleanse" your life from unnecessary contacts and order it. To arrive on time is an application for a serious life.
Forget about commitments
Do you remember how long ago you promised to visit your old grandmother? And you forget everything ... Of course, you said I'll drop in only because it was uncomfortable to refuse ... But I did not go! And she waits and remembers! And most importantly - you remember! Source: most likely, you do not want to offend them, or rather - you are afraid to become bad, inattentive, unresponsive. That's why you promise.
Consequence: if you do not fulfill these promises, you do not just become what you were afraid of, you still become an unreliable person: you promised and did not do it - it's worse than you refused.
How to get rid: learn to say "no." After you learn how to refuse , keep promises as soon as possible. Because the unfinished business has the effect of an "unfinished action". They are "loaded" into "RAM" and do not allow you to work quickly and efficiently.
Result : you can do good deeds and get pleasure from it. Gratitude, which is transmitted by eyes, deeds and "reward from outer space," will significantly improve the quality of your life. To get rid of a bad habit it is possible only in one way - to replace it with a new one - useful. Just remember: for the first time you will be happy to behave in a new way, in the second - also normally, in the third - automatically, in the fourth - you will lose your temper ... And here you have to pull yourself together and continue. Let there be a thousand arguments "against", but there is one "for" - your life will change. And further. The habit is formed 40 days. This was found out by psychologists. Endure these 40 days. And then - you will see such improvements, which were only in your wildest fantasies.
Rules of polite refusal:
- Pronounce the phrase in a calm, confident voice. It will be even better if the shoulders are straightened and both legs stand firmly on the floor.
- To begin with the phrase it is necessary from the words: I can not do this.
- Be sure to explain in two or three words why you can not do it. So you show respect for the person's request and do not insult him with refusal.
- If your explanation is more than six words - this is a bad explanation. Cut it.
- Do not apologize. You have the same right to refuse, as he - to ask. Do only what you really can and want to do.
- Do not rush. Let the person understand that you heard him, understood and really can not help him.
- Do not engage in dialogue. The whole conversation must meet two cues: a request is a refusal.