How to get rid of the mother's feelings of guilt?

Motherhood is one of the main periods of life of every woman. Being a mother is fine, but sooner or later, before every woman, does the question "dissolve" in the child or ...?

Over time, every woman answers this question. Some women prefer a career, and even before the child is several months old they hire a nanny or give him to a day nursery, at the same time they return to work and with double effort begin to make money justifying themselves by a lack of money.

Others, on the contrary, go to the decree and fully commit themselves to the child, often forgetting about themselves, and often launch their appearance. It should be understood that a child, even a small one, needs his time, which he can spend alone, no matter how strange it may sound, because children, whom parents have very patronized and put them at the center of their lives, usually grow up not independent.

There is a third option - these are women who not only try to be good mothers, but also eat themselves at the same time in some area, as a rule, they do not have much, but it turns out, most importantly - do not screw in these two beginnings.

The sense of guilt before the child sooner or later arises in every mother, even the one that has completely devoted herself to him. In vain she did not embrace, did not embrace, paid little time, etc. so that from the feelings of guilt before the child no one is immune and sometimes this wine is not rational.

The sense of guilt is a kind of signal that something is wrong, it induces action (to stop a concrete situation, correct it or start acting in a completely different direction). If a person corrects a situation that he thinks is wrong, then the guilt goes away. If the situation is the opposite, then the guilt becomes a pathology. The sense of guilt grows and turns into a scourge, a useless process of self-eating, which leads to nothing constructive.

The maternal sense of guilt suppresses initiative and reduces the sense of happiness of motherhood.

This feeling arises after childbirth and is often warmed up by relatives, reproaching the newly-made mother for not coping well with her maternal obligations.

The most important thing is to recognize this feeling and start a fight with it, because it poisons the relationship between parents and children. To overcome the feelings of guilt in front of a child, it is enough to simply admit to oneself in your imperfection and most importantly accept it. Alas, ideal mothers do not exist and this is a fact, but you can be just a mother, a good mother. You must allow yourself to accept the mistake. You need to learn how to forgive not only others, but also yourself first. Every mother has moments when she breaks down. If this has already happened, then you need to find the strength to apologize to the child.

Remember that a child does not have to spend a lot of time, the main role here is exactly how you spend with him this time. It does not matter whether it's a few hours or a few minutes, it's all about quality. If you are a working mom, then you need to explain to the child that you are busy and will be able to give him time later. So you will teach the child how to manage time properly, and this will be very useful for him in the future. Studies have shown that children who grew up in a family where the mother worked and did not give the children much time, but the time that was given to the children was qualitative and full, almost did not lack motherly attention and grew fully.