Why does he change? The reasons why loyalty suddenly disappears from your life, can be as many as you want. This is never the fault of someone, but only both partners.
They say that men are polygamous and can not devote their lives to a single woman. This is not true, but only a fiction, which is very convenient to justify treason. There are examples where men without any suffering lived with a single woman for life, without the need to love someone else. In fact, women change at least, some scientists tend to think that more, but do not advertise it.
It is also not true that a male angel is supposedly surrounded by an evil razluchnitsa, forcing him to intimacy and further relationships. Excuse me, but is this big, strong and grown-up man looking like a nonsense calf, whom everyone can drive for a rope? If a man decided on treason, it was only his decision.
There is an opinion that they walk only from ugly, stupid, jealous and quarrelsome wives. Of course, all these qualities do not have too much loyalty, but what about the deceived beauties, clever, kind and sympathetic women? Treason occurs in completely different ways.
Of course, it would not be a bad idea to think whether you missed the moment when your relationship began to change, when problems began to arise, and what is your possible error. The main thing, analyzing your life together, do not try to write off the betrayal to the fact that you twice salted borsch or once did not iron the shirt. Most likely, you just did not notice that both of them cooled to each other.
One of the most important moments in this situation is deciding what you are going to do next. If you are not ready to forgive, try to restore relationships and experience treason together, this article is not for you.
What not to do?
The first reaction to the news of the infidelity of the spouse will, of course, be resentment and anger. A rare wife can restrain her emotions and not throw a scandal. Namely scandals and provoke even more distance of spouses from each other.
You do not have to, and should not be silent. Hardly, firmly tell us what you feel, but without hysterics and excessive pathetic. Your spouse should know that his action caused you pain and must bear responsibility for it.
It is important not to reproach, but simply to state the facts, since reproaches can cause mutual accusations and unwillingness to make contact.
The second impulse is usually a desire to pity and revenge razluchnitsu. It is worth to refrain from this. You will appear in a very unattractive light for everyone and for the spouse, too, since the competitor will necessarily thicken the paint and be in the eyes of her husband a victim. In addition, revenge will not do anything and will not change anything. Your task is to return her husband to the family, why bother, if she is still a loser?
It is not necessary to involve all relatives, friends, colleagues in solving this intimate problem. Of course, you will dedicate your closest ones to your problems, but do not ask them to instruct their husband to be true, to talk to him or otherwise influence him - you will only make things worse. Do not take dirty linen out of the hut.
What is worth doing?
In the modern world, quite a lot of money, in order to get out of any stressful situation with the least losses. It would be strange not to use them.
Address to the psychologist - at this difficult moment, qualified help is simply necessary for you. You will be able to understand yourself, make the right decisions and avoid many mistakes.
Do not be limited only by this problem. Surely, your life was not limited only to her husband and his interests. Now you have a great opportunity to devote yourself only to a certain time, because there will not be a traitor to insist that you continue to be always at your side? Meet with friends, sign up for dancing, in the fitness hall, whatever, but try to take your free time with as many things as you like.
The time when problems occur in the family can be used to channel energy into another direction. For example, you can pay more attention to work and achieve some successes that will help strengthen self-esteem.
Do something pleasant only to yourself. Visit the salon, change your hair, change the wardrobe. They say that treason is the time for different changes, and it's true. Change, not looking back.
Try to fight with a sense of guilt, with anger and a desire to take revenge. These emotions are destructive, they make you suffer. In the end, you have not so little left: work, perhaps, children, girlfriends, hobbies. Life has not become empty, no matter how you seem.
Why will he return?
Men rarely leave the family for the sake of lovers, no matter how it seems to us. The banal reason for this is the reluctance to lose money acquired over the years and the loss of familiar comfort.
A man is more likely to return to the family, because his mistress does not know him as well as you. She will be able to make mistakes, for which you have long been forgiven, but which it is difficult to forgive a stranger.
Mistress will eventually demand definiteness in the relationship, and men will not tolerate any ultimatums. Against the background of you - calm, confident, ready to go to contact, the mistress can look less profitable.
In addition, love and passion pass, and old and strong attachments are difficult to forget. You have a good chance to restore a relationship and even return feelings, most men are happy to be ready for this.
In trying to get her husband back into the family, it's important to look at yourself and your relationship a bit from outside - it will help to avoid extremes in decision-making. Equally important is the confidence in what exactly you want and are ready to forgive your spouse. If pride does not allow you to forgive, and divorce seems to be the best way out, then you should not try to strengthen your family - most likely, nothing will come of it.