Remembering psychologists, almost all children are born trusting. In the earliest age they rely entirely on mother. She cares for the child, feeds, washes and protects. Therefore, initially, trust arises precisely to mother, but only to father, grandparents. Parentage depends on whether this instinct develops or not.
Causes of loss of trust
When the child begins to grow up, adults often do not have enough time to communicate. Also, a constant deceit on the part of parents is very negative. Do not promise that you are not able to fulfill. Frequent delinquent deception will gradually lead to a loss of confidence.
Any kind of physical punishment leads to undesirable consequences. Constant talk and threats very strongly destroy the authority of the adult. The child will necessarily begin to become isolated in itself. Also, children who are punished often enough start lying to avoid them. Only sincere conversations can save the child from fears.
Nestoit thinks that with the help of donations of permanent gifts, you can support trust. This is completely wrong.
If the child has lost confidence in his family, this leads to his isolation, loneliness and insecurity. Such children grow up completely unadapted in life. They do not know how to cope with difficult situations. Therefore, trusting and good relations are the key to a harmonious development of the child and a happy and lasting life.
How to keep and return the child's trust
All responsibility for the preservation of trust rests on the shoulders of parents. Therefore, they are obliged to show initiative. Adults should first of all be able to control their feelings and emotions. Sometimes it is very difficult to restrain and not shout at the child. If the parents have allowed themselves to be rude, then one must be able to recognize oneself in their mistakes. Before the child it is necessary to apologize and ask for forgiveness. This is very important and helps to maintain trust. The child delicately feels the lie and deceit.
In order to adjust or restore the child's trust, adults should start with themselves, even when they need to try to change. Parents should not give a bad example.
It is necessary to show your love and affection at the most unexpected moment. The less a child expects, the more he will be pleased.
It is very important to respect the feelings and opinion of the child. You should never tell offensive to children. Even a nickname jokingly can offend and offend him. The older the child becomes, the more painful he perceives it. Do not put your child in an awkward position. Categorically it is impossible for him to make notes in adults, and especially with peers. It hurts children very badly.
Parents should discuss the behavior and negative aspects of the child with outsiders, especially in his presence. Put yourself in his place and then swallow how unpleasant it is.
Very often loss of trust occurs due to overstated requirements, which the parents make to their children. They require the child a certain level of success in school or sports. But all the children are completely different. Some even trying very hard, can not bring a single five. Also, the selected section may not like the child and he visits it only because parents so want. In this case, relations can be strained. Therefore, you should not put in front of an inflated requirements. It is important to find out what is interesting and what you want to do in your spare time.
It is very important to involve a child from the smallest age to participate in home games and discussions. It is important for him to feel that he is trusted. Never scold children if they do not succeed. It is very important to praise and support the baby in all his endeavors. Attraction of the child to business accustoms him to the labor, at the same time, very close to his parents. Also, such children are more respectful of their mother and father. All tasks for children must be safe and uncomplicated.
A great value for the correct development of the child is the satisfaction of the need for reintegration with peers. Parents must help him to organize them and teach them how to make friends. A child should always be sure that my mom and dad can protect him and tell him. The kid should not be left alone with his problems. Therefore, even very busy parents should find time to communicate with their child.
Love and trust
Great value for creating a trusting relationship is played by love and a good emotional situation in the family. It is very important to develop the abilities of their children from early childhood. You can bring up the feeling of love and responsibility of a child. To do this, many psychologists recommend to have a domestic animal. This decision should be taken together with the baby and taking care of the pet to put it on him. Adults should teach the child to look after him properly. He should understand that careless and wrong actions can cause a lot of pain and serious harm to the child. A child with a pet has a feeling of loneliness, it becomes necessary and important for someone. He will look at the relationship differently in his family.
A very important role in the relationship between adults and children is played by joint games. They allow you to get close to the baby, and also will definitely bring a lot of pleasure. The child develops during such games and learns to trust his mother. You can devote your walks to joint walks and sports. For example, family skiing or biking.
Confidential relations between parents and adolescents
Most teenagers have problems with their parents. It seems to them that their freedom is constantly hindered. They constantly have to prove to their parents that they are no longer children. Therefore, it is very difficult at this time to have a trusting and warm relationship.
Parents should very strongly change their behavior towards their children. It is important to know the characteristics of development in adolescence. Do not constantly express dissatisfaction with the actions and behavior of the child. He is already quite difficult. It is at this age that he has the first strong love, he gradually begins to get used to the role of an adult.
Therefore, the parents must provide psychological support to their child. It is extremely important to believe and love him. Do not judge him and all forbid. He must necessarily be free in the choice of friends, interests, likes and dislikes. Do not impose your opinion. Control should be unobtrusive. But parents need to know where and with whom the baby is. It is necessary to avoid interrogations. It is strictly prohibited to read diaries, personal correspondence and messages.