It's good that everything was helped by my mother. You studied, worked anywhere and anyone, all weekends devoted to her daughter, and when there was a stable income you had only a job and a daughter. You paid no attention to your personal life, you were expecting your daughter to grow up.
This is a typical situation for many single women and it calmed you down. And when the daughter turned 14 you met a young man. At first we met secretly, and then you decided to tell your daughter. You could not even imagine what a serious problem with the matured daughter would be this decision. The daughter was not against, and you got married, the husband moved to live with you. The daughter surprisingly calmly reacted to your marriage and to the presence of your stepfather in your apartment. You were glad that the grown-up daughter understands you and did not lead to any serious problem, as her friend supposed. For the first time in your life, you felt truly happy. But then the relationship in the family became tense.
The daughter seemed to be deliberately bursting into quarrels with you, she began to talk in a completely impermissible tone. Your comments about the studies were perceived with hostility, late return home became the norm. She began to dress defiantly, repainted her hair and was rude to you at every turn. She especially tried to give out her tactlessness in the presence of her stepfather. Now you understood that a serious problem with a matured daughter can not be avoided. But you still did not understand what kind of serious problem you would have with your grown-up daughter.
During the next clarification of the relationship the daughter gave out that she fell in love with her stepfather and that she liked her from the very beginning, as soon as she appeared. He, allegedly, also showed interest in her, and you only interfere with her. In other words, they have a stepfather novel. After issuing all this, the daughter ran away from home, and you, after a lot of sobs, decided to talk with her husband. The conversation was difficult: the husband denied everything, and said that he would put his ears to the daughter for such jokes. He embraced you and swore to everyone in the world that he did not give the girl any reason. You do not know what to think and who to believe. If the matured daughter fell in love with his stepfather, then how to behave?
How to live under one roof with a daughter who hates you, because you are the wife of the person she loves? And your husband now began to trust less, doubts tormented, because to resist the beauty and charm of a touching young girl is difficult ...
Now you live not only with a serious problem, now you live in hell. You pretend that nothing has happened, the daughter also accepted the rules of the game: she practically does not talk to you, comes home late and immediately goes to bed. You understand perfectly well that this situation will not be resolved by itself. The daughter could invent all this because of jealousy, and, maybe, completely unconsciously. In any case, pretending that nothing has happened is an unsuccessful tactic. So it is not long and in hospital to please with nervous frustration.
No one needs this outcome . "Life in hell" can be stopped quickly enough if you seek help from a psychologist working with families. An experienced specialist will help you understand the difficult situation. But to arrange "face-to-face betting" alone is not worth it. Attempts to bring "guilty" to clean water will not end well. Such amateur performance will lead only to a serious conflict and, it is possible, to the collapse of the family. Psycho-corrective sessions need to go all together. Pronouncing the problem and jointly searching for its solution will certainly give a positive result. At such meetings, the psychologist avoids giving advice and does not assume the role of a judge. He only encourages everyone to an active dialogue and find a mutually beneficial compromise.