Probably, there are no such parents who would not face such a situation:
You go out for a walk with your child on the playground, in the sandbox, your child collects your favorite toys for a long time (bucket with spatulas, molds, crayons, soap bubbles), the sun shines, the soul rejoices already in the summer warm sun .... But everything turns out contrary to your mood for a pleasant walk with your beloved baby.
The toys try to take away another's child, pours out your soap bubbles, your baby wants to look at someone else's toys, but in return receives a scoop or sand in his eyes in the forehead. On your angry comments about the behavior of the child, his mother with a sweet smile says that she is raising her child by a new method and in general it is impossible for children under the age of 5 to prohibit anything. And in the end, you are boiling with indignation, dragging the screaming child to another place, feeling hurt in the shower, the mood is spoiled, and a blue bruise appears on your forehead ... Sometimes, if children who were not too aggressive fathers witnessed childish fights in the sandbox, between them. There have been cases of murder ...
And it happens that your child turns from an angel into a little devil, gets all the kids, swarming in the same sandbox, and you are forced to flee as from the battlefield to the cries of outraged mothers, promising to arrange a swill for your house.
How can it be that the walk does not become a test every time for the strength of nerves and strength of the foreheads?
- If the child does not want to go and play with other children at all
Do not force it. Each child has a rhythm of entering a new collective - someone immediately becomes a ringleader, and someone must first look closely from afar, carefully try to make friends, and then, maybe, play together. Therefore, if your baby pulls you away from the children's company, follow him. The time will come and he himself will be carried to the general company, and you can read a book on the bench.
Try to carefully teach him to play in the team, teach by example. Approach another child, say hello, ask his name, say your name, ask permission to play with him and if the other kid refuses - do not insist on a joint game. Respecting the interests of the other, you set an example for your little one and let him know that his interests will also be taken into account. Try to play with the same children at first, so that your child does not have to deal with new faces if he hardly joins the collective. The main principle is gradually, not insisting, following the pace of your child.
- At your child, took away toys, broke his kulichiki.
The main thing is calmness. Look at how your child reacts to the situation. Very often, what we perceive as a blatant injustice is not that of a child. Maybe he really does not mind this time. Of course, if this happens every time and your kid acts as a sponsor for the entire yard, then you need to think about why this happens. If the baby can not cope with the situation and tears fill your eyes, take the situation into your own hands. Come along with him to the invader, calmly and politely ask you to return the toy or change it, try to take in his place another. Try to offer your other toy if your baby needs that. If nothing helps, call for help his mother, just refrain from reproaches, so as not to spoil the walk neither to himself, nor to his child.
- Your child plays with others, but does not want to share anything
And let it not be divided. Or are you ashamed that your baby will be judged as greedy? So this is only your perception. A small child is an egoist. His toys are his treasures. Would you share your diamond jewelry or a coat of valuable fur? That's the same ... And in any case, do not select and do not give his toys to lose to other kids, even if they are younger than yours. In this case, you simply become a traitor to your own child. It turns out that you are on the side of some stranger invader. Instead, explain to another child that this is your favorite toy for your baby, so ask him not to take it. Suggest another one in return. If your baby is offering his toys to others, be sure to praise him. Gradually, he realizes the "benefits" of what can be shared.
- Your child is a fighter and a bully
This is when you appear, other moms begin to collect toys and look for another place to walk? Do not try to walk with him in solitary places during off-hour time. Maybe he is still just small and does not know how to take into account the interests of others and their feelings. Teach him to interact in the team. All the time explain and comment on what is happening. As soon as you see his attempts to arrange a fight, take away someone else's toy, stop and explain why it can not be done. Teach not to select, but to change. Themselves apologize and teach your child to apologize if he offended another. If persuasion does not help, switch it to another lesson, play a different game. Explain why you did this. Explain that if he behaves this way, you will have to go home. But do not threaten, but explain.
Invent him some interesting game with little men, little animals, cars in the same sandbox, so that he played next to other children and toys, but was busy with his work.
Children due to their age, it is still not clear that they hurt each other. Therefore it is necessary to explain it more often.
In general, do not often interfere in children's conflicts. Let the child himself seeks ways out of them and manifests independence. This experience is very important for children. From this begins his ability to build relationships with outsiders. And then you can discuss the situation, the cause of it, other ways of solving it and be praised for your child finding a way out of the conflict.
Harutyunyan Anna