What actually strengthens the relationship?

Children's fairy tales have clearly described to all the girls a picture of the ideal life: love must be necessary at first sight, romantic walks under the moon and serenades by the window are strictly obligatory, and the prince (of course, without housing problems) is to feel the mood of the beloved and the seven seas. Well, what to do to those who do not fit into the canon? If you believe the photos in social networks and chewing gums "Love is ..", true love is made from non-budget bouquets, constant fire risk (candles, candles!), And hugs at sunrise. It was according to this scenario that Sveta and Dima went to win a wedding contest in the wedding magazine for the most romantic engagement (he knelt on St. Mark's Square in Venice and presented the ring, the tourists rejoiced, the pigeons ate a double bread norm). True, the newlyweds fled a couple of months after the wedding, but this was not written in the magazine.

There is another story, about how the newly-fledged family was thrown with repair by three brigades in a row. First, the poor fellows started a war - not with a foreman, but with each other - and almost crashed a roll of wallpaper.

Then common sense prevailed, the young concluded a moratorium on the search for the guilty and began to walk around the problem quite in a partner way. And imagine: by the end of the repair it was that very one Satan from the proverb. Lovely no longer scolded, but they were amused, so much so that others were envious. It begs the question: is it really eaten together a pood of salt strengthens the union more effective than vanilla rest in the Maldives?

It's not that I'm proposing to anathematize all the romantic attributes. And the pink petals on the bed of love, and unscheduled gifts in rustling packaging, and dawns together - all this beauty from time to time is damn pleasant and in general, invigorates. Another thing is that you will not be full of cakes alone; more often I want herrings with potatoes. And this gastronomic metaphor perfectly suits the sphere of relations. In general, down with the myths about strong couples - give the truth, what really brings together!

Let them say: "Really loving people understand each other without words, at the very least - with a half-word."

Actually
Do you want to live happily ever after? Welcome to the negotiating table! Joint budget, cleaning the apartment, schedule visits to relatives, the allowed number of flirting at parties - for those living under the same roof, small topics do not exist. The wider the range of agreements (and the list of sanctions for non-fulfillment of contract items), the less in our lives will be the wild life breaking through the bottoms of love ships. In addition, the habit of expressing directly and verbally, and not with fiery glances and heavy sighs, is guaranteed to save a lot of stupid misunderstandings. For example, if you tell in advance what you would like to receive for your birthday, then, most likely, you will find it. In the worst case, your half will express regret and just as frankly explain why it can not fulfill the desire. However, if you want drama, tears and accusations - the proposed methodology is obviously not good.

In the opinion of venerable family psychotherapists, one of the keys to a successful union is the ability to discuss the established rules and change them as soon as they become morally obsolete. And it happens more than once. Joint life, marriage registration, birth of children - every step requires revision of hitherto relevant agreements. Unromantic, in an accounting way - but reliable. And I want to say that nothing strengthens relations like a successful joint activity. And it's not so important, it will be a horse ride under the moon, a tango school or an attempt to pull a stuck in the dirt car. If you successfully cope with the last task, it will become a part of your history and allow you to experience the wonderful feeling "we could!". And this small victory is quite possible to note the most that neither is a romantic dinner.

Let them talk:
"Normal people do not take dirty linen out of their huts and do not tell outsiders what is happening in their family nest."

Actually
And what are friends and psychoanalysts for? Even the winners of the contest for the sweetest couple from time to time quarrel, pout, keep silent and fantasize about a more understanding partner. If at such moments proudly go to the bottom and chew the insults alone, there is a great risk that all this will acquire a chronic current, and you will become a depressive bore.

By the way, the difference between "sharing" and "nayabednichat" is very significant, and it's easy to catch. Tell a bosom friend about her disheveled feelings, ponyt on her shoulder and eat a comforting cake in a pleasant society - all this does not involve betrayal. In addition, a friend, if she has a good sense of humor (and only these should be chosen), it can be so wonderful to comment on the situation that the resentment will immediately dissipate. And in order not to feel uncomfortable later (and at the same time not to embarrass a girlfriend / mother / the Internet community), in moments of revelation, it's better to avoid too intimate details, as well as obvious compromising material on your beloved man. But about yourself say anything. Narrating not only about his undoubted merits, but also about obvious blunders, you get a wonderful chance to look at the conflict from the side and come up with an ingenious way to solve it.

Let them say : "Happy couples do not get tired of each other, and they will never come to rest together."

Actually
I remember in the distant school years I heard from one intelligent teacher that in the relationship the experience of pauses is very important. Time passed, and it turned out that these very pauses are really needed as air - at least in order to gain impressions and enrich them with their own union. And also to look at the side of what is happening between you and your loved one. And, perhaps, something to correct.

In fact, the more intense the life of each partner or spouse, the easier and more interesting it is for them to stay together. First, it is not necessary to share such different interests of a friend. To do this, there are friends, communities and themed parties, which allow you to immerse yourself in your favorite hobby with your head, without fear of misunderstanding, bewilderment and other "not-". Secondly, for complete happiness, friends are needed: not only noisy companies, but also sit-and-talk meetings with confidential shuffling and gossip. Thirdly, if this does not happen, the main topics of marital conversations will remain trips to "Auchan" and a snot from a younger one. Do you need it? Honestly, what matters is not the amount of time spent together, but only its quality. Do you miss each other? Did you have anything to talk about? Positive answers to these questions are worth a lot, which means you have to be late and get bored, and gain enough for conversations. If for this you need to spend part of the vacation separately, in different countries or on different continents - the game is worth the candle!