How to settle a dispute without quarrel

Certainly, in a dispute, truth is born. Only now can not prove everything without quarreling. And the saddest thing is that sometimes in a dispute the main argument is a punch on the table with a fist or a shout. But I want to insist on my own to everyone. Yes, and incline others to his side. Only to do both, and still at the same time to maintain a good relationship can only a few. How can you defeat an opponent in a dispute without offending or offending him?


How to settle a disputed situation at work?

At work it is permissible to argue only on working subjects, and not on how the lips of your colleague or what she wears, with whom she meets. Personal life of employees should not be discussed.

But if the question concerns the increase of the salary or the organization of the work process, you can speak in full measure. Nakosstavaniyah is not without controversial issues. But to interrupt the speaker, even if you seem to be questionable in his speech, it is not worth it. Let him finish and then answer the questions. After that you can join the discussion. But you should only touch on the subject of discussion and in no case the personal characteristics of colleagues. Phrases "You have little experience," "You do not have education" in a dispute can not serve as arguments. Even an inexperienced colleague can offer a brilliant solution to the problem. Any effective proposal requires constructive and thorough criticism, which should not degrade the author, to augment the weak points in the theory and find the correct ways to correct them.

When making comments, argue, then try to follow the following rules:

Criticize what is being said at the moment. Do not remember the previous production mistakes of the speaker.

Start your speech and end with praise. After all, there is something positive in the subject under discussion (so that a colleague wants to correct the situation).

Discuss the action or result, but not the personality of the co-worker. Expressions like "You're doing everything wrong," "You always so, nothing happens" your argument will not decorate.

When you decide a contentious issue, then suggest ways to solve the problem. But specify clearly what exactly and how to fix it.

If you are the object of critical attacks, it is best to show restraint. Calmly and carefully with a friendly face, listen to the opponent, do not interrupt him and do not try to justify himself. At the end of the conversation, thank him. After all, not always the same censures are made with malice.

But in part you may have to touch personal questions. For example, your boss does not like your wardrobe. But if it corresponds to the dress code of the company, then there can not be items of discussion of the spoils. Ask the boss if you are doing your job well and if so, then how relevant you are to dressing.

Arguments in family disputes

Championships in the dispute man will never forgive. After all, the last word should remain for him. And even if you are a thousand times right, he will not recognize your victory. In order to persuade her husband to the right opinion for you, do not argue with him at all. Just make him feel that your opinion is his own. Let's say you want to spend a husband's premium on a food processor, and he's on a fishing rod. The logic of your beliefs should be the following: "Darling, I want to spend more time with you, and at the same time have time to cook your tasty food." How do you think this can be done? "This method poses a masculine task. hints like: "Darling, I'm so tired of cooking."

There is another option. It is necessary to put questions so that the man would agree with them. For example: "Do you like my corporate cake?" "Do you want me to cook it more often?" "Do you want me to cook faster and spend more time with you?" - "Yes, of course." - "Can I then buy a combine harvester?" It will be difficult for him to answer the last question "no." The logic of the previous answers makes him answer positively.

Such a reception will work and in controversial battles with the parents. They are always right and know better how to live.

Of course, to settle a dispute without quarrels with friends is easier and easier. You are of the same age, you understand each other better. But if in your discussion you want to screw up: "What do you understand in literature (fashion, cinema)" -think: Would it be nice for you to hear such a statement and would you find this as a weighty proof of rightness?

The exclamations "You're carrying out total nonsense! You're crazy!" Are simply inadmissible in disputes with the people around us, these phrases will not give you credibility, but the atmosphere will be heated and your disregard for the interlocutor will be emphasized.

Settlement of Disputes by Sons

Remember how it was hurt when your parents did not listen to your opinion, and everything was decided for you. At the same time, they alluded to the fact that you are quite special, you do not understand anything. But children often realize more than they do, and certainly have the right, at least, to be heard.

It does not matter, the son had a daughter and how old your child, if he needs attention, goes to meet him. Listen to his suggestions and arguments, but without an indulgent smile, do not interrupt in mid-sentence and give your comments until the end. Then you can ask again if you have any doubts, and only then express your own opinion on the issue under discussion.

With a child you need to talk on an equal footing. There are no such topics for which he is "still small." It may turn out that when you decide that your child is too old for the issues under discussion, it may be too late for him. Discuss questions with the child with all seriousness. Explain the essence of the facts, argue your opinion and respect his point of view.

By example, unobtrusively and gently, you teach the child to conduct a dispute correctly and politely - do not blame, do not interrupt and listen attentively to the people around us.

If you have a dispute about his negligent behavior, then do not forget the rules of constructive criticism. You can only discuss a concrete deed and not remember past sins. Speak of the characters, not the personal qualities of the child, like: "You are a loafer, a loafer." Say better: "You have not learned a poem and received a deserved deuce."

Always find something to praise the child for. Help him to solve and fix a difficult situation. Try to direct its excess energy in the right, peaceful direction.

So, all the office troubles, home disputes, as we can see, can be settled without quarreling with the people around us.