Probably, each of us at least once asked the question: why do we need religion, why does it persist in society? There are a lot of interpretations: and to explain the inexplicable; and that people better understand what is happening to them in this difficult world; and to neutralize various fears ... But it is possible that one of the most important psychological reasons is that religion does not allow people to despair, lose faith, treat life disdainfully. Disheartenedness is just an expression of disregard for such an invaluable gift, I mean life. We are given life - is this not a reason to feel happy? Well, if everything was so simple! From our faces, there would never be a smile. The fact that life itself is a good reason to rejoice, remember not every day, and sometimes not every month. These are such high reflections, existential. Do you think that the notorious dejection of former Soviet people and the equally notorious smile of Western citizens are the features of personal psychology or the sociocultural norm? Rather a sociocultural feature. You probably noticed that lately, we have cultivated a smile, a positive attitude, a demonstrative problem-free. However, to imitate inocultural norms, to ape an obscure - false and unnatural. Everyone remembers the incredible heat of this summer. In July, I watched the news on TV and was amazed: the woman tells the journalist how bad her family tolerates the heat, that the child, the asthmatic person, suffocates, the pressure itself jumps ... And at the same time she smiles, excuse her expression, with a joyful smile idiots . It was evident that she strained her lips in front of the camera precisely because she had learned: it was necessary to smile. This is prestigious today. The sad paradox is that we, post-Soviet people, wanting to look as cheerful as foreigners, do not always correlate themselves with the situation. And in the same way we lose naturalness, just as when we try to tell about our vegetable-growing successes on six hundred square meters of an infield with an extremely serious expression.
How do I understand the overlap - as a complete disregard for the rule of hiding their evil disposition of the spirit, so blindly following it? Quite right. Come with a lemon to the party - a sign of psychological lack of culture. And to tell with a strained smile about something serious, problematic - is also a cultural pathology. In both cases, the behavior is deliberate. It indicates that a person is helpless in regulating his emotional state. We do not need to strain your imagination to imagine a picture from the life of a modern office: bottles filled with sweaty bodies, eternal deadlines, meetings ... How can we regulate our state of mind in these conditions? That yes, then yes, we live in chronic systemic stress. So, how to learn to enjoy life to a person who does not engage in spiritual practices, but at the same time not "walking stomach", but interested in what happens to him and why? How to be an average normal person who wants to be in a good mood? In fact, in this issue, modern psychologists took the position of either secular priests or behavior trainers: they teach people to psychotechnics how to manage themselves, saying: "Take a breath, hold up your breath, count to ten, say to yourself:" I am calm, I have all is well "... Or they advise me to give myself an order:" I know what to do. I own the situation. " Similar techniques are original substitutes for mantras, formulas for calming. Or else: they offer to present themselves as an observer, as if you are considering the situation from the top, from a bird's eye view. Sometimes it helps, but often, you will agree, these councils seem ridiculous and primitive.
Agree! After all, we often need to be included in the situation, and not be detached from it.
Defect is obvious! After all, flying an airplane is always stressful, even for those who have never suffered from aerophobia. And stewardesses are obliged to smile - sincerely, not falsely, are obliged to radiate a good mood, confidence that everything is going as it should. Otherwise their professional fitness is under big question. You see, in emotionally colored situations - whether it's a party, flight in an airplane, a tour of ancient castles or a heated discussion - it's important for us to feel some kind of human solidarity. The same applies to the office environment. Even modern business offices are refurbished at a five-star level, air conditioners quietly operate, telephones are quietly ringing, automatic machines give out an excellent espresso - still there is no getting away from tension and hassle. Therefore, it is important to remember: if you do not have some psychosocial competence, do not try to pretend that you are able to act in this situation. I can draw an analogy with diving. It's one thing to dive under the water for three meters, and quite another - at thirty. To stress, like the thickness of water, you are not flattened, do not dive deep. If you are unable to control the situation (depth, storm force, wave height), then you, having thought everything over, are always able to decide how many meters you can afford to immerse yourself in this situation. And more important, in my opinion, to understand that there are situations in which one can not do without a storm and deep immersion. One can not, in fact, believe that you can achieve success, for example, in the field of jurisprudence, without ever getting involved in a heated argument or avoiding extremely dangerous cases. Let's take a lawyer who wants to succeed. If he avoids storms, how can he succeed? So it will be in the shallow water to collect fish ... Of course, sometimes the situation requires us to scale up, and even complete submission, psychological acceptance of it. I will give an example. You probably have seen more than once on the sea, vacationers ride on an inflatable "banana". Sense in what? The boat makes a sharp turn, the "banana" capsizes - everyone is in the water. Once I witnessed how a stubborn "comrade" decided to keep against the banana. The rest were having fun, falling off like fat pigs, splashing, and the obstinate man was holding a dead grip, trying to prove something to someone. To whom and what? This is what I'm saying: if you understand that you are in a situation where you must inevitably accept the rules of the game - and get the result, it makes no sense to swim against the current, which is much stronger than you.
How does the genetic predisposition affect the ability to enjoy life? Recently, now and then you meet articles about the opening of the "happiness gene" - they say, if a mom or dad had one, then the child is provided with an iridescent look at the world. What do psychologists think about this? Recently I watched the curious program of Russian TV presenter Alexander Gordon about cloning people. The guest of the program, Vladimir Zhirinovsky, announced his desire to have several clones - as energetic and cheerful as he is. Another guest, a scientist-biologist, objected that Zhirinovsky's clones would not necessarily have his character. I was surprised: it seemed to me that the clone should look like its "source" as two drops of water! Of course, the scientist is right. After all, the phenotype, that is, the properties acquired in life, and not the genotype, determines the nature of the character. So no genetic set can explain the ability to be happy and stay in a good mood is impossible. No genetic prognosis is able to conclude: you know, dear, you have all the prerequisites to be a cheerful person!
And do many people have such prerequisites? Yes, all except some types of psychopaths. Tons of literature are written about how to seek and find harmony, how to learn to enjoy every moment, how to form this hard-to-reach balance of the internal and external, how to "grow" in yourself the stress-resistance and the understanding that bad weather does not happen - there are not very suitable clothes. It is natural for a person to be cheerful, even in a difficult situation, to enjoy life, to desire pleasures. They say that there is less sunlight - that's the reason. Please give advice on how to cope with this lackluster condition. About the sunlight - absolutely true. As for mild sadness, it is not always, by the way, worth fighting with, especially if this productive state is akin to Pushkin's "my sorrow is light." If you still want to get rid of sadness, discontent, I can recommend a simple, but effective self-examination. Ask yourself: is my condition connected with my attitude to other people? Or with the attitude of other people to me? And maybe the specific circumstances are the cause of all this? Or health? Or is sadness unreasonable? As a rule, the answer is quickly found. And it becomes clear what to do, how to eliminate the cause of sadness. However, do not be afraid of your condition - even if a person is very good at swimming, anyway during a long swim he wants to lie on his back and rest, rocking on the waves. Perhaps the mild sadness that has rolled over you is the call of the body to "lie back," to look at the sky and relax?