They lived happily ever after. He, who dreamed of the sea since childhood, served in the naval department and once lost his job. I could not find a job in my specialty, I was interrupted by accidental earnings. My wife began to saw, they say, no decent work, no serious money. But, in general, everything was not bad. My daughter was growing up. Once they were waiting for the guests. Together they cleaned and prepared all sorts of things. And there was a lack of salt in the house. He took a handful of small things and went to the store - quickly, until his friends came ... A month later he received a telegram from some islands. Of the muddled explanations it was understandable little: I met a comrade in the navy, that one urgently needed a navigator. The ship left that evening. For various reasons, he could return home only a year and a half later. During this time, they got used to each other in order. They wanted to get a divorce. But they decided to wait for the new apartment: it relied on a family of three people, but not from two. Pulled. And then they got involved. And they decided not to get divorced. And they live like that. The story with his sudden disappearance is told as an anecdote - with an unexpectedly good ending. There are many criteria that are more important for men than duty, commitment, love for a woman and what seems to be common sense. For example, its self-realization. Or a crisis of middle age. After all, selfishness and a spontaneous sense of happiness. It is curious that all this is more important than his love for you, but does not cancel it. He can very much love you - deeply and in his own way. In the story about the sailor motifs are combined. The main one is a sudden chance of self-realization, for the sake of which a person has forgotten everything in the world. But in second place is just the desire to please his wife - to earn money, to avoid reproaches ... And even get a divorce apartment for more - for her and her daughter. "I see the goal, I do not notice obstacles," - typical male logic. Sudden and unmotivated disappearance plunges into shock. "He does not like me, but he does not even have the courage to say it directly!" - this is the first (and often the only) thing that comes to our mind.
You will not believe, but it's really easier for a man to go to war or save someone from the mouth of an African hippopotamus than to talk honestly with a girl. These are the gender features of the brain: they have a verbal center that is usually less developed than we have. The desire to explain and accept explanations, to be understood and understood is a purely feminine property. The man from this in most cases is free. It is important for him to know: what he does is right. All the rest - the details, not worth his attention and knocking off the course. And, nevertheless, the reasons for silent male shoots are much more diverse than dislike and fear of negotiations. And some of them are even accessible to understanding and are subject to forgiveness. For example...
Force Majeure
Maybe he did not run away at all. And he went to buy flowers for you and got into the police for a fight. Or saved the child from the dog and now lies in the hospital. Or lost his memory and lost his way. Anything can happen ... First, call him on the mobile. Not the fact that he will pick up the phone. But if it does, you will at least be convinced that the person you love is alive. And if he does not take or phone is disconnected, call the police station, the accident registration office, hospitals, morgues, friends, apartments and appearances. This banal-kinoshnogo event can not be avoided. Suddenly a misfortune happened to a loved one? This possibility should be ruled out. From the very beginning.
Long thought
Sometimes men disappear without explanation, because ... they think they have explained everything. Let's say that for years the idea was ripe for it - for example, that it is necessary to save belka in Antarctica or that traditional family values are outdated. Internal dialogue goes on all the time. He is so loud and real that the man already feels that his girl understands everything. But how else is it if he thinks about it 24 hours a day ?! The intensity of silent dialogue replaces the real dialogue. At the point of internal boiling, the man decides to leave. For him, this long-awaited release, as if from a sweltering steam room, he finally left for fresh air. There are no limits to his joy. He thought about this for so long, prepared, dreamed, waited. And so it happened! He made a decision. He's free. He is satisfied with the decision. He is happy. Where can I really think of someone with whom I lived? On top of happiness, a person is always alone.
Sudden rush
I met a friend, went for a drink, and I started to rush. He no longer remembers where and why he was going, and even more so - who and what was left behind. Such a reaction is peculiar to people emotionally not sustained, super-excited, with a lack of clear self-control. The first violin in the ensemble of such a person is played by emotions. They often go off-scale, taking their owner far beyond his own conscious desires. When emotions burn out, chances are high that a person will return to where he left. If only he to everything else is not stubborn yet. If you lived or met with such a hero, it's unlikely that you did not notice the characteristic symptoms. However, a variety of this type of behavior is also found in personalities at first glance not very emotional. That is, in ordinary life they are also ordinary - people like people. But any abnormal situation can put them at a dead end, enter into a stupor. Then the man immediately loses his will and sails with the flow. The reasons are an underdeveloped emotional sphere, weak self-control, a blunted reaction. Once for him, everything was always decided by mom-dad-grandmothers, and when suddenly there was some Borya or Petya, he followed him out of the habit of forever being led. Once he also followed you, and it was nice and flattering for you. But this is his standard type of response, so do not be surprised.
Self-realization
Life from a clean slate - is not it wonderful, really? He did not do that for so long, he did not communicate with those, he did not go there. And this happened. There is an opportunity to change life and to do, finally, what it was created for. He can then (when everything settles) to call and communicate with you, as if nothing had happened. Guilt will not feel, because in another way he could not self-actualize (and this is the main thing!), He simply had no way out. And he did not run away from you, but from bored work and unpromising life. What insults ?! He loves you. And you love stability, like all women, so you still would not approve of his escape.
Degradation
Collapse of personality. Fatigue from responsibility and habitual way of life. The shoulders fall under the weight of everyday problems and debts, disturb the thoughts of impermanence and the meaninglessness of being ... A person slips out from under it, as from under the lid, and begins a vegetable-carefree life. Often for these reasons, men become homeless or alcoholics. But not always. Incidentally, the downswinging so widespread today is a phenomenon of the same order.
Age crisis
Forty-year-old men look solid and manly. But they are even more unpredictable than teens. Inside - debriefing and revision of values. Outside, gray hair and wrinkles. In society - a visible finiteness of career heights and a looming pension. That is, the crisis affects all aspects of the individual - physiological, psychological, social. The more primitive and poorer a person is, the less she has points of support during a crisis and the more dangerous this moment is for her. And, conversely, the more diverse the circle of communication and interests in a person, the more likely he will find something to rely on when some aspects of life are in question. For many men, the crisis is akin to tragedy. He leaves just because he does not know what to do next. They need to change something urgently so as not to go crazy. How to leave? Of course, in silence! Life goes downhill - do not drag along your favorite (it does not matter whether it's about the wife with whom you lived for 20 years, or about the girl he met a couple of weeks ago). There are chances for a return if you do not deprive him of such an opportunity.
Revenge
Disappearance from revenge is typical for men of varying degrees of podkabluchnosti. Depressed by a brighter, successful or talented lover, or for a long time depending on it (propiska, money, connections), a man has to endure much. And now comes a time when he has a chance to get out of care. The amount of dissatisfaction accumulated in it goes into the quality of the deed. In the shower so many energy toxins have accumulated, that they want to throw them off to a person cruelly and sharply, necessarily causing their former benefactress pain. Too annoying is that she was a witness of his human and male insolvency. This type of man is petty, full of inner complexes, an envious and spiteful character in essence. How did you not notice this before ?!
Another woman
Leaving for another is a great joy, which does not want to overshadow anything at all. Any talk about this is unpleasant and even dangerous for the goodness in which he now resides. Selfishness? Of course! Consolation can be that with her, the other, he will act in the end the same way. But it will not have anything to do with you any more.
Altruism
Sometimes men are noble (as they think) disappear, so as not to cause trouble to women. For example, he learns that he is ill. Or wasted. Another option is the crime with which your prince is linked and who begins to threaten his relatives. Also, adult married men with young, foolish little fools can come. Some suddenly find that they spoil their young passions life and disappear suddenly and without a trace, in the hope that angered grace will forget it sooner and more accurately if it feels deeply offended.
What's next?
The further development of events in many respects depends on your character. If the soul requires active action - seek out, find out, try to talk. But from the very beginning, you should be aware that you are not doing this in order to return it, but in order to find out that everything is in order. Another motivation is illusory and, most likely, will cause you a lot of pain. If you find and it turns out that your loss is alive and well, do not try to return it. Reproaches, pressure on conscience, blackmail, tears (incidentally, also a manifestation of aggression) now grief will not help. Do not put hasty and final points in this story. The chance that the disappeared will return is almost always. For most motivations, a return option is possible - depends on the personality characteristics, as well as on the development of the parallel situation. And at this moment it is very important not to commit acts and not to say words that would cut off for him the path to return. If, of course, you want him to come back. To understand the reason of what happened is worthwhile at least in order not to step on the same rake another time. Having understood the behavior and motivation peculiar to the character that has evaporated, you will be able to notice something wrong on time next time. The main thing is to learn that this is not yours, but its problem. It's worth seriously thinking about yourself, if your chosen ones, silently, disappear one by one. No matter how things develop, your self-control and optimism will be evaluated either by the fugitive or by others. And, most importantly, do not lose respect for yourself. The loss of a loved one is not identical with the loss of oneself. This is important to remember even at the most acute moments. Tell yourself: how good, what a great chance to start everything from the beginning, not everyone is so lucky! Another important point is forgiveness. You can forgive - you can say goodbye and move on. Help can be good memories of the events of your joint past. Look through the photo album, think how much good this person has given you, how much he taught you. What wonderful days or years you spent together. Remember the best. Thank him for it. And let him go. Let the story end. This fact happened without your participation, and all you can do is accept it and live on.