Even in ancient times, philosophers and wise men speculated on the topic of war and conflict. Why people quarreled, fought each other, showed so much aggression throughout the history of mankind, interested almost everyone. Today these problems are studied, and their social psychology is considered. This issue is one of the most important in this industry. It's not a secret for anyone that people unite in groups, interact with each other, which includes the fact that they are fighting with each other, quarrel, and sometimes behavior and completely goes beyond the norms. It is not strange that the concept of conflict is associated with negative emotions. There is also the view that they should always be avoided. But is it? To do this, consider the concept of quarrel, conflict, as well as their negative and positive functions.
In psychology, conflict is the collision of oppositely directed, inconsistent tendencies, a single episode in consciousness, in interpersonal interactions or interpersonal relations between individuals or groups of people, associated with negative emotional experiences. Conflicts create quarrels, the reasons for which can be many. It seems to us that people quarrel over trifles, sometimes there are important reasons. We also feel that the quarrel can turn around in different ways: some it is good, others can quarrel for the rest of their lives. In order to understand why people quarrel, why they fight so often with each other, we will consider some examples from life, and from this we will draw a conclusion on the grounds for such conflicts.
For example: a girl meets her boyfriend. They walk along the alley, he is calm, smiling, looking somewhere into the distance, holding her hand and walking, apparently, thinking about something. She is in a bad mood, she is worried that she thinks she does not care about him. And today he is not very emotional at all, he does not even look at her, although she has been so long gathered for him to say a compliment to her. And he seems to dream of something else in general. How, because there she is, how can you be so little expansive? And then she's cocked up and can not stand it anymore, throwing him the phrase: "You do not care about me at all," turns around to leave. The guy in perplexity, does not understand what happened, what he was guilty of before her. She starts screaming, making claims, thinking of herself for something. He starts screaming back. They are arguing. She reacts impulsively and leaves.
Now let's analyze the situation. What are the causes of the quarrel here? The girl arranged it because of a lack of attention, which in fact there. They accuse the guy of low emotionality and require more attention. The main reason why this couple quarreled is a lack of understanding, which is one of the most common reasons. In fact, the guy is just a calm character, but the girl does not understand him and accuses him of indifference. Such a conflict will not lead to anything good, but in order to solve it, you just need to understand and accept the psychology of another person, and not blame for what we ourselves can imagine.
Sometimes partners conduct a dialogue, defending their interests and values. Often such a dialogue can turn into a quarrel if everyone starts giving vent to their emotions, etc. The dialogue can develop into a global dispute, a confrontation where each of the leaders fights with each other, defending their interests. No one wants to give up his position, each individual wants to change his mind and win, although often this is impossible. The views of the other person seem to us erroneous, and we begin to diligently try to "correct the mistake." Another common reason why people quarrel is different views and values. Their mistake is that they can not accept the sight of another person without realizing that we are all different, and everyone has the right to their opinion. If a quarrel occurs with a loved one, then we should understand that we need to accept it as it is, otherwise we do not love it, but the illusion that we created about it? If we can not accept his goals and views, maybe it's just not who we need?
People are fighting with each other for different reasons, this trend is inevitable. Therefore, we do not need to learn to avoid conflicts and quarrels, and best of all - be able to solve them. In fact, this is a very important skill and hard work. We learn to solve similar problems throughout life. What is needed in order to overcome the quarrel? What should we learn, and what are the rules for this? First: learn to control your emotions. There are times when they overwhelm us and there is a desire to throw out all the negative on the opponent - then everyone quarrels and fights. It is necessary to abstain from such desires. When the conflict is ripening due to misunderstanding, the reason is often not that the partner does not want to listen to us, but that he perceives the situation differently. Communicate more often with each other, openly talk about your desires. As a solution - look for compromises, consider the opinion of another person, no matter how hard it was.
We ask ourselves why people quarrel with each other, compete and fight. These aspects of relations surround us, we often face conflicts, they have become an integral part of our lives. It is important not only to understand their most frequent reasons, but also be able to interact correctly. One must always remember how important it is to control oneself and listen to the opinion of another person, to cooperate with him, to seek compromises and to be able to analyze the situation, life will be easier, and relations more pleasant, because this is the key to success.