One of the main decisions for most couples is the adoption of a child. This step is very difficult to take. But if the decision has been finally adopted, then it is necessary to clearly imagine all the problems that can arise when raising an adopted child.
Problems can be divided into three groups:
- Adaptation in the family of an adopted child
- Heredity
- Child's health
Adopted children, as a rule, have at any age not a very rosy experience. Experienced psychological trauma will last for a long time even when surrounded by his love and maximum care. This can manifest as a sleep disorder or anxiety for no reason, lack of appetite, unusual behavior in the usual cases of foster parents.
People often mistakenly believe that caring, comfort, warmth, beautiful toys are able to immediately change a child. This is not true. The child will ask why his parents left him, why they did it, why he was not loved for so long and did not care about him. The answers to these questions must be prepared in advance. The child may need even psychological support. The child can close or splash out the accumulated emotions. This should not be frightened.
It happens that children even begin to reject adoptive parents. Ways at the same time are the most unpredictable: they behave badly, come up with tricks, express themselves in obscene language. This always causes a negative reaction from parents and adults. But these problems are solved easily if you approach them correctly. You can contact a specialist psychologist, if necessary.
The reverse situation. It happens that a kid who has not received in the past a sufficient amount of love, tries to fill this gap. He can very strongly become attached to those who care about him. It can be parents or even any adult who takes care of and cares for the child. In this situation, several adorable people appear, but the child will not really be attached to anyone. It's just a passive and trusting child. It will be more difficult for him to establish normal contacts with his parents.
It is difficult for parents to establish contact with the child. They begin to look for the reasons, blame him for not wanting to establish friendly relations. There are constant quarrels and conflicts. But parents should know that such behavior is protection from the side of the baby. She, as a rule, happens at a subconscious level on all negative, that the child has gone through earlier. Parents who do not find contact often refuse such children. This should not be done. Allow all experienced problems will help an experienced specialist. Having made the right decision, you will quickly notice that the child has changed. He will try not to upset you, make himself and his adoptive parents happy.
Heredity
Foster parents are very afraid of poor heredity. This is the first problem in education. It is believed that a child of a dysfunctional person can not be a full-fledged member of society. Such statements are a relic of the past. Scientists have already proved that heredity can influence the development of the child, but this factor is not dominant. Formation of personality can only upbringing. Only from upbringing depends what kind of a child will be in adulthood. To be afraid of heredity is not necessary. Do not also think that parents have already laid something very bad. Care should be taken to choose the right approach to the baby and not to provoke negative actions afterwards.
Health
Foster parents are also frightened by the state of health of the adopted child. These fears and fears are justified. After all, children's home does not have the opportunity to deal with children's health. But this should not be frightened. The level of development of medicine is now very high. Many health problems can be solved. And the diseases are not so serious as to intimidate them. Everyone knows that there is a possibility of health problems even in the healthiest baby with age. But from the possible situations no one is immune.
If you are determined to make this important and responsible step, then you should think about everything very well. After all, the mistake you make can cause permanent damage to the child. It is impossible to leave problems. But the right approach to them can solve all problems instantly. We need to think over our steps when raising adopted children. Because now only on you depends on how the child will live in the future, what relation to you and to the surrounding people he will have. In foster families, mostly children and parents are happy. And it is impossible to assume that the family is not brought up as a native child.