Educate the children of parents need from childhood
If you want your children, after growing up, to be able to find family happiness and become good parents, you will have to work hard. The only way how you can educate a future parent is to be yourself that way. Children, like a mirror reflection, try to copy us, but along with good examples of behavior, they can easily remember those for which we ourselves have been blushed. So if you decide to put in your child the best qualities of character, then you will be forced to begin to develop these qualities to begin with. So, what character traits will help children in the future to educate their children correctly.
First, it's patience. Nervous, loud parents never made a good impression on children. Moderate your ardor, let the child see that emotions can be kept under control. Do not waste your time and energy on irritation, which nothing else has helped, because a small man with wide eyes will absorb this everyday truth, and in the future, be sure, learn to be patient.
It is difficult to imagine a good parents who would not love their baby and did not hesitate to express their feelings. It is very important to teach the child the altruism in love, when the parents do not demand anything for their care, they do not expect gratitude from the children. When love is not involved in feelings of ownership, it does not impose, does not restrict freedom, does not strangle the child, but gives joy and a sense of security, which he then surrounds and his children.
Let it sound a little frivolous, but a healthy sense of humor needs to bring up childhood. It will help in communicating with the companions, will teach them easier to endure troubles. Ability to kindly play a trick on yourself will not allow you to lose patience in the most difficult moments, and the child will be interested with you.
Do not fall under the children's heel
Do not underestimate the child's intelligence. Already from a small age children show miracles of discernment and see the parents right through, especially their weaknesses. One of the most naive ways to influence parents, so that they went unconditionally to them on the water - it's children's tantrums. Be careful, sometimes children are really unable to curb their emotions, and then they need your help and support, but more often than not, hysteria is a non-flawed way to get what you want. The usual situation is when the child falls to the floor, screams, stomps with feet and bursts into the most bitter tears, and all this is just for the mom or dad to buy the toy they liked or sweets to the store, or they agreed to once again ride on that beautiful horse. Yes, such hysteria - a real performance with special effects, the main viewer in this performance are parents. Do not go on the occasion of the loss, and be patient and try to ignore such defiant behavior. The main thing is not to give up, and when the child learns that such behavior will not guarantee the result to him and the adorable teddy bear will remain lying in the store, he will stop torturing both you and yourself.
As for the adolescent tantrums, they do not fall to the floor, but they cry out for their parents' attention. If the child really does not receive the warmth and attention, then this gap in your relationship should be eliminated, new flashy tantrums, when the child refuses to take care of the puppy or take out the garbage, it is necessary to immediately stop it. Once seeing that you are ready to wash the mountain of dishes yourself, if only to not listen to the lamentation or indignation of a teenager, he will use this constantly.
Parents are subject to training
The all-embracing love of the parents sometimes blinds their eyes, and they are no longer able to see that their daughter is no longer the helpless babies, that they have grown and gradually become a full-fledged person. When the parental desire to protect and preserve the embarrassment of all the embraces of the child's healthy desire for freedom and self-expression, he begins to resort to extreme methods of affecting the parents. This is already familiar tantrums, when the behavior of a teenager screams to parents so that they stop ignoring his opinion. Children have worked a lot of methods to successfully manipulate parents and get what they want. Sometimes they play entire performances with screams, throwing mugs, damage to things, and not necessarily their own. When this happens in a public place in front of unfamiliar people, parents are ready to fail shamelessly through the ground, if only the child has stopped hysterics, so, sooner, they will give the child the desired.
Sometimes children play contradictions between parents. And when the mother forbids the child something, he tutzhe begins to argue and put forth arguments: "And Dad has solved!", Which leadsmamma into confusion and she recedes. But most often the children still manipulate the parents, appealing to a feeling of pity. Few people are not moved by a sad child's face with tears in their eyes, because the parent's heart is literally melting. Sometimes children pretend that they have something to hurt, if only they regretted it. There is a very important position of parents in case of a real illness, if you immediately turn to a doctor or start treatment, and do not ask a sick child with pleasant things, as soon as he complains of a slight malaise, the situation does not arise in principle.
Intimate talk
Screaming has never been an effective solution to problems. And if you want him to behave like an educated person in all respects, then there is only one way to achieve results, and this is a sincere conversation. If the child screams, it is unlikely that he will be reassured by his own cry, on the contrary, the situation will get even worse and you will be able to forget about the solution to the problem. Yes, strictness is important, and punishing the child is bad behavior, because he understands what can be done, and what is not. But restricting educational activity to only punishments would be a mistake. At the moment when the child is a wisteric, he is unlikely to take even your most convincing arguments, but then the storm will pass, you can try to talk with him about his behavior, explain how you felt at that moment, how shameful and unpleasant for his act.
Especially teenagers are keen on dialogue with parents. Trying to appear as adults and not independent, they find it difficult to admit their own weaknesses and to hide them, they begin to behave inappropriately, to put it mildly. It is important that the parents do not throw themselves with reproaches to the guilty teenager, and they talk in a calm atmosphere. Nravonucheniya and long notations will not work, the teenager can only open up in conversation on an equal footing. Tell us how you coped with the problems at his age, advise what to do, but do not scold him.