It so happened that all children are fighting, and absolutely every parent. Even those mothers who constantly repeat to everyone "we never had such a thing", at least once, but they faced this problem. This is one of the stages of child development and nothing can be done about it. Some fight with each other quietly that no one hears, others so that the hair and clothes fly in the wind, the third - surreptitiously bite, scratch, weigh the cuffs ... The main thing for parents who notice their child with bruises and scratches, determine how behave yourself, what to say, so that this will not happen again.
You saw it ...
Most child psychologists are confident that they are not in a hurry to interfere in the fight, if it does not pose a danger to the health of someone from the fighting. Do not take sides. Of course, the first impulse of every mother who saw a fight with her child's participation would be to separate the fighters and even give the pope a "strange hooligan". But, think, is it all so dangerous? Will not you make it worse? Will your little one get used to all the time to wait for help and protection from you even becoming quite adult and independent? You can discuss who is right and who is to blame, what was the reason for the reason, and how it was possible to avoid it afterwards, leaving alone with the child. Of course, if your child is attacked by several fighters or one, but significantly superior in strength, it is necessary to intervene. Interfere in an adult way: without shouting, calmly, judiciously, although this is sometimes not easy.
What to do if the fight started my child?
Sometimes it is difficult to determine the instigator of a fight. But often this is the one who behaves aggressively: teases, brags, selects toys or drives the scabies. It seems to every mother that her child is not greedy (not a fighter, not a badass it.p.), but just today something is not in the mood. Here we must try to get away, take the baby away from the place of the fight and try to explain how to properly behave in the company. Do not abuse the child at all, just try to explain why this is not good.
Observe your child. Maybe he rarely rides among other children and just does not know how to behave with them? Then explain (it is possible, with the help of an instructive tale), that nobody wants to play with the fighters. If fights arise from zaigrushek, then, going to the sandbox, take with you more dolls, offer your child to try to swap toys for a while. You can distract from the object of disagreement some game: from catching up and hiding pre-game games.
Ekaterina Murashova, psychologist, writer: "Talk to your son about motivations, about the feelings of other people (...). After all, he fights and raises other children precisely because he does not understand their feelings and desires, he wants, but he does not feel "right" to communicate with them. " (from the book "Children of the Cliffs and Children of the Catastrophe").
Fighting with brothers and sisters
With this problem, I have recently come across a period: a 5-year-old daughter now and then harasses a one and a half-year-old son. Toigrushka will choose, then push ... And not always, unfortunately, I manage to remain emotionally balanced in such situations. I understand with understanding that in this way the daughter tries to attract my attention that she too does not have enough of my affection, but ... Attempts to agree to join the younger do not always succeed. But the more often I say that the younger should be defended, they have to give in, since they simply do not understand the people in attendance, the more they manage to avoid fighting. To do this, we have to find a separate time for the daughter, for communication and games only with her alone, lack of presence of the younger child. At this time we play different role-playing games, in which the concepts of "junior" and "senior", "protect" and "share" are necessarily present.
If a child strikes my
The most correct thing is to contact the parents of the baby, tell them about what is happening. You can also try to talk with the person himself, but talk as if it were your own child.
Gordon Newfeld, psychologist, writer: "Do not try to teach a child a lesson in time of a surge of aggression. Remember, you understand the asymptoms, not the problem. "
Some psychologists advise that they invite children themselves to come up with a punishment for the fight (of course, not physical, for example, refusal of sweet). Conversely, to come up with encouragement for a certain time without fights.
And most importantly, more sensitivity, calmness and discretion.