Communication of parents with a teenager

How many times did your attempt to talk to a teenage child end up being abused? How many times have you had to collect all the will into a fist so as not to hit the insolent child completely? How many times in despair did you give free rein to tears when he left, slamming the door? But everything could be completely different! You will not believe, but with a teenager you can agree, find a common language and even cooperate! Just need to know the approach to the child in this difficult period. The communication of parents with a teenager is often based on moralizing, instruction and "teaching." This is fundamentally wrong. Here are ten ways of peaceful communication with a child of adolescence. They will be a real salvation for you. You will be surprised by the result.

1. Draw a clear line between the concepts of "parent" and "friend."
You can become a friend to your child. But if you become "one level" with him, discard your parental superiority - this will sooner or later lead to a problem. It seems rude, but the child must know his place in the family. He is the youngest. He only learns to live in a world of problems and contradictions. You are first and foremost - support, support in a difficult moment. The teenager should feel in you protection, respect your mind and ability to get out of difficult situations. Understand: children can find friends anywhere. While good parents are extremely rare.

2. Be sympathetic.
It means being close, even when it's not easy and uncomfortable when you are loaded with work, when fatigue overcomes you. You need your child. Especially in the teenage period, when problems seem insoluble, the world is unfair, and the future is very vague. You should always know what is happening in your child's life. You must earn his trust by sacrificing your free time. If the child is confident of your support, your understanding - it will be easier for him to overcome this difficult age.

3. Educate the adolescent responsibility.
This is your great task, how to prepare a teenager for life. Explain that if he wants a certain way of life - you need to make some effort to achieve it. It's not just about money, but about its responsibility, independence and the ability to "stand on one's own feet." The child should have his own chores around the house. Set tasks before it, but do not "get away with it" if they do not do what is supposed to. This teaches the teenager how the world works. In the end, he will be grateful to you for the science.

4. Be able to listen.
This means listening and understanding without condemning. Even if the child argues or even is rude - do not interrupt. Try to catch the essence of the problem. Very often it is a cry for help. Remember that your child has grown. Now his problems hurt him "in an adult way."

5. Do not be lazy to explain.
Always explain the reasons for your requirements. So you will help the child later make the right decisions on his own. So tell me that you want to see him at home by a certain time, because then it's not safe in the streets. A teenager should see in your request caring, not a dry call, a soulless order.

6. Be ready to stand up for the adolescent .
For all apparent adulthood, adolescents are the most vulnerable beings in the world. They need protection. Who else will stand on their side, if not parents? Give the child to understand that you are with him. That intercede, help advice and never condemn. It is important for a teenager to know that he is not alone in this world.

7. Be in the know.
Know what kind of music your child listens, what his friends call (and their parents), be aware of his school affairs - the task is maximum for good parents. It is necessary to have points of contact in the communication of parents with a teenager. He will certainly appreciate your attention. Seeing that you are aware of all his affairs, a teenager simply can not ignore you. And hardly want.

8. Be flexible.
Rules, of course, should be, but not without exception. For example, when a child needs to get out of his room, but he starts reading an interesting book and simply forgot about his duties. Be flexible, see the root of the matter. In the end, cleaning can wait. Give the child to understand that you are not a soulless machine giving orders, but a person who understands and knows how to compromise. Believe me, tomorrow the teenager will clean himself in his room. With pleasure.

9. Have common interests with the child.
Having common interests means that you understand each other better. You study together and share your experience. Believe, your teenager wants to have any communication with you, except for disputes about the help on the house.

10. Keep talking, even if he does not listen.
It seems ridiculous, but teenagers always listen to their parents. Even when they scream, they perfectly hear and understand you. Tell your child what you think about smoking, drugs, sex. The information will pass through it, even if it looks like it did not happen. Do not ignore the child's problems. And he will not be able to ignore you.