Perhaps there is not a single family who has never quarreled during her life. All the trouble and trouble is a test of the strength of the relationship. But it turns out that all these troubles are cyclical, and it is possible, if not avoided, at least to mitigate crises.
Psychologists have established that each married couple has an average of three crises. There may be more, it all depends on the temperament of the spouses.
The first crisis, the crisis of the first 3-5 years of marriage . It depends on him whether you will be together or not. The candy-bouquet period is over, gray days come. Husband and wife get used to each other, they often have to deal with the household, stand at the stove, clean, wash, etc.
The desire to make a pleasant beloved turns into a burden. Most divorces, about 80%, accounted for precisely this crisis. The partner or partner is not really the same as in the first time dating. People tend to idealize family life, especially to women, and when a person encounters reality, a contradiction arises between dream and reality.
Make a rule with your partner: discuss all disputes and disagreements. Then your or his discontent will not accumulate and result in a rapid clarification of the relationship. If all the same you quarreled, try to understand your beloved, stand in his place, think, or maybe you're wrong? Do not try to change your husband - it's unlikely you will succeed. Always look for a compromise, do not focus on negative points. Because most quarrels during this period happen due to household chores, go out more often with your half from home to the theater, guests, get distracted.
The second crisis occurs in 7-9 years of living together . It is associated with a phenomenon like addictive. Usually by this time, many couples have children, have financial independence. All habits, character and behavior of the partner are well studied. You can tell how your husband will behave in any situation, you understand each other halfway. Everything seems to be fine, but now, it seems that love is gone, there is no passion of interest as in the first years of marriage.
Do not rush to conclusions . Understand, your love has simply passed to a new stage, has acquired new sensations. Psychologists advise during this period to relax more often from each other, go to a fitness club, meet with friends, and let the husband go to football. You can do a new hobby, change the image, ie bring something new into your life. You will see that you will have new topics to discuss with your husband.
After 16-20 years of marriage there may be a third crisis . It is exacerbated by the crisis of middle age. At this time, children grow up, they start their families. Career has already taken place, and the person is satisfied, enjoys the long-awaited successes, or has not achieved what he wanted. Many men are afraid at this age to look untenable, so very often they start fast novels with young girls. They want to prove to others and themselves that much more can be achieved and received.
If you have something like this happening, do not rush into divorce . After all, this is the most extreme measure. Stay the same, wise, cheerful and optimistic! Such novels very quickly pass, and you are connected for many years, understanding each other, knowledge of all habits and preferences. In most cases, husbands return again, frightened of a new life and misunderstanding.
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