Sometimes this happens even with those who are accustomed to make decisions himself. Think one thing, but it turns out quite different. For example, quiet gatherings with friends suddenly turn into dancing until I fall in the night club at the devil on the cake (even though you promised to lie down no later than eleven). It's time to assume that you were oppressed and insensibly transported to this coven. But surely everything was decided amicably. Just someone from your company masterfully possesses the gift of persuasion. And you, as well as everyone else, became a victim of this terrible person.
Your case is not an isolated one. If one believes, one encounters various forms of persuasion a thousand times a day. "Sometimes we meet masters who can light up anyone with their ideas," says Chris Hilary, author of "27 Persuasion Options: Simple Strategies to Conquer the Audience and Acquire Allies." "It seems that they have some kind of magical super-power." Well, it's time to uncover the secret of all this magic and turn from a man led into a persuading person.
Win Fear
Still, it is not clear why, for example, your colleague knocks out budgets for the most incredible projects, while the rest is often refused by the boss. Maybe she is blackmailing the boss something?
She's just a woman without fear and reproach. It remains only to understand what the reason for this strength of mind. Studies show that psychopaths suffer from violations of the function of the cerebellar amygdala (part of the brain responsible for zememtsii). Although suffering - loudly said. The defect dulls the feeling of fear.
If you are afraid to ask the chef for a promotion for which you have been quitting for six months, first convince yourself that you deserve a reward. Think over everything you are going to say. The success of an enterprise depends on how confident the person behaves. To make your words sound weighty, pre-tap the speech.
Recognize your weaknesses
It's not about your affection for the liver, but about things that are really important - about those that prevent people from perceiving you adequately. Agree, it's one thing to hide faults or not attach importance to them, and quite another to turn them into dignities. If you know your weak points, then you can control how others perceive them. It is necessary only to give minuses in a favorable light.
Let's say you are stubborn and willful, than you bring your colleagues and bosses to white heat. Try somehow for a change to start a new performance before the team, not with hysteria, but with the following phrase: "Perhaps I with extreme diligence uphold my ideas and sometimes I can slightly overdo the stick. If this happens, you'll tell me, okay?" Voila! People who a minute ago you thought you were epileptic, instantly penetrate to the corpuscle.
Look carefully
According to rumors, slender legs and a beautiful décolleté line are excellent assistants in achieving the goal, but now it is not about them. Eye contact is the more effective thing to establish productive relationships (even if you claim to be a stripper). Experts are sure: in most cases, trust is due to him. To get in touch, try to withstand the interlocutor's eyes for a few seconds. But no more, otherwise he can tense up and take you for a maniac or a co-worker of law enforcement agencies.
Body language reflects the emotional state of people. Learn, and you can act for sure. Example: an employee of a bank that you are given to give out an interest-free loan to buy the "Ferrari" you need, leans back in your chair and crosses your arms. a sign that he is nervous. Try to discharge the situation, to bring a smile.
Call on the collective mind
The common concept of "we" is indispensable if you need to encourage a person to act in your way.Make mention that you like the same movie (actor, actress) or a book as a companion.To the negotiations successfully, try not to express a direct disagreement, just replace " but "on" and "." Another effective trick is to "mirror" the posture of the interlocutor. Studies conducted at Duke University (USA) showed that teachers are more loyal to students who are gradually copying their movements and body position. Such actions force people to subconsciously feel a resemblance, on the basis of which trust arises. Do you really think that a strict lady from the visa department will refuse to a young, pleasant lady in the same bifocals as hers?
Get the authority
People tend to trust authorities. However, it is not for everyone to try on the role of a leader. Use the evaluation of third parties in order to force people to take the decision you need. If you and your beloved manoyanik can not decide on the choice of a restaurant, say something like: "My friend, by the way, the chef, visited this institution and can swear that the crabs from the outside really come from Kamchatka, and not from the Moscow region." This replica shows , that you, on the one hand, have a sacred knowledge of local delicacies (and this is in itself an application for leadership), and on the other hand, you are in the same boat as your companion. "If food poisoning happens, the responsibility is not on you, but on on the mythical friend - the cook.
There are people who can make anyone dance to their hairdresser. They gradually pass through your most sensitive points, causing feelings of guilt, pity, or vanity. The less you are confident in yourself and the worse you become aware of your boundaries, the more you are informed. You are being manipulated if you are:
- "As a sensitive boss (a good mother), you are obliged ..." Appeal to eternal values can knock anyone, because striving for perfectionism, as a rule, uncontrollable. Do not become an imposing image. In the end, a sensitive boss and a good mother should be able to defend their interests.
- "You make me very frustrated ..." It's a wonderful way to send you to the position of our child. The sense of guilt has a tendency to get out in a completely unprofitable manner for nassituations. Remember that you have not drunk for years. So, it is necessary to agree with the interlocutor from the position of "adult-adult".
- "Oh, I want to share with you one hidden thing ..." You suddenly find that an unfamiliar woman whispering to you the details of her birth. Such closeness threatens complete helplessness: it is difficult for such a psychic person to refuse. So protect your borders.
- "What are you, not with us?" And in this exclamation echoes all the disappointment of the best friends, whom you think are now a mean betrayal. The sense of belonging to any community is very important for a person.
- "Only you can save me ..." Pleasing glance and you feel like a knight on a white horse. A checker is attached. The feeling of self-worth is tasted in full, but at some point you realize that the horses are running and running, and the huts are burning and burning. Stop: the rescue of drowning people is the work of the drowning.