It is known that men are fighting for a civil marriage. Fearing losing their independence, they praise "free, civilized relations accepted throughout the world." Women are dearer than the modest stamp in their passports. "What's he changing?" He screams indignantly. "It will be calmer for me," she replies, unable to explain the reasons for her love for stamps. Guilty of intuition. A woman, even if she is completely unfamiliar with the laws, feels a trick of her heart, lurking in a free marriage.
A civil marriage was born in the Netherlands in the 16th century. People of different faiths could not get married and such unions legitimized power. Today, on the contrary, unregistered marriage, even after the wedding, is considered civil.
In the West, a civil marriage has been practiced for a long time. Recently, such relationships have become popular with us. More and more couples believe that before the registry office it is necessary to live together, to look narrowly, to try on the future spouse.
Such relations, on the one hand, have many advantages. Freedom - psychological and documentary, the extension of the romantic period, the opportunity to easily part. On the other hand, civil marriage has under itself sharp reefs. And they are not concerned with romance. Since such a marriage is not recognized by law, in the case of a "divorce", cohabitants do not have legal rights to joint property. For example, if the civil wife did not work, and led the farm, after parting with the "husband", she could easily be on the street. With what came - with that and left - the motto of civil marriage. And men in such "divorce", as a rule, do not suffer. They earn money, joint property, housing, etc. are formed on them. No wonder they are so fighting for freedom from stamps! The woman remains out of work.
In the West, civil marriage is a legal concept. In the United States, a woman who has had a similar situation can file a claim for recognition of cohabitation by marriage. Having proved the facts of prolonged cohabitation, appearance together in public, sexual relations, she gets the rights of a lawful wife. In the Dominican Republic, if people lived together for more than 4 years, they have the right to joint property as a spouse. And in France, cohabitants can conclude a pact of civil solidarity, which stipulates property relations.
And what about us? In the case of official marriage, everything is clear. The Family Code protects spouses and, in the event of a divorce, both receive half of the property. What to do in the case of unofficial marriage? Perhaps, to issue a marriage contract?
Paragraph 40 of the Family Code states: "A marriage contract is an agreement between citizens marrying, or by legal spouses, regulating their property relations during joint life, as well as in divorce." Translated into human language, this means that only legitimate spouses can enter into a marriage contract. Even if the document is signed before the wedding, it will enter into force only at the time of the stamp strike on the passport. Civilian spouses do not have the right to enter into a marriage contract.
According to rumors, the idea of a law establishing the status of a civil marriage wanders in the minds of our deputies. But while it did not come true, lawyers advise the following.
If the civil spouses have something to share in the event of separation, then you should take care of this in advance. Namely - keep a detailed accounting, fix all expenses, purchases. It is better to register common property in shared or joint ownership. In this case, there is a chance to sue your own. Those who ignore this advice and after the "divorce" will try to prove their rights to the property are likely to be disappointed. No such claim in the Russian court has not yet won, although there have been attempts.
As you can see, the intuition of women does not deceive. Civil marriage is fraught with great trick. And the stamp in the passport is much more reliable!
And now some advice for those who want to turn from a civil wife into an official wife. To begin with, we will determine your chances of winning.
The situation is the first: you live together for less than four years.
This situation is the most beneficial from the point of view of psychologists. You have the greatest chance of hearing Mendelssohn's march. Firstly, because the first love is still alive, and the first time of "grinding" you safely passed, thereby proving that you can completely exist in one territory. Feel free to start processing a civil spouse for the purpose of formalizing the relationship. This is a very suitable moment - a man realizes that he found his only one, made sure that living together is quite convenient, and at the same time he did not lose romantic feelings. You have every chance to become a wife!
The second situation: you live more than four years and you do not have children.
It is at this time, according to psychologists, the first disappointment and recognition of each other "in real light." Simply put, pink eyes drop from the eyes and you see the spouse in all its glory. As a rule, women who more soberly accept peace, still want to marry. It's different with men. At this "time" you will be much harder to convince a civil husband to formalize the marriage. He already lives with you and has everything he wants - his beloved woman next to him, the way she lived and ... her clean passport. Right now, eternal disputes begin on the topic: "Honey, what will this stamp give you?" You have chances, but you have to sweat.
Situation three: you live long ago and you have children.
In principle, you do not need our advice. This is your conscious choice and for sure you already agreed with your husband that "the stamp does not give anything." At this "time" the woman convinces herself of the benefits of free marriage and even tries to propagate it. This is a kind of defensive reaction of the psyche. The chances of creating an official marriage are practically nonexistent - due to the lack of desire of both parties.
Now that we have decided on the chances of formalizing a formal marriage, let's move on to practical advice. So, what to do if you dream about veil and wedding bouquet , and your husband tells you about the modernity of civil marriage?
Depending on the nature of your chosen one, choose the right tactic:
A gentle-tempered man can be shed with tears, dreamy talk of a wedding or a honeymoon.
A spouse with a logical mindset can be put everything in order. Let him read the above article, for example. Tell me that you want to feel protected. Men like to stand up for the protection of weak women.
A person who is preoccupied with the opinion of others can be taken on this - what will relatives, acquaintances, colleagues say? By the way, the career is more successful with married men and they are more likely to be hired. After all, the presence of a stamp indicates the ability to be responsible for others. Than not an argument?
Of course, the property issue touched upon in the article is a very delicate thing, and one must have an extraordinary delicacy in order not to get embarrassed when discussing it with her husband. But in fact we are women! Tell him that you love him much, that you want to carry his name, give birth to his children. Yes, one of the effective ways to get a man to marry is to refuse to give birth until the marriage is made. So tell me - I do not want my children to be unmarried! Here I am not modern, and the point. Any normal man wants married children. If your not like that, it's worth thinking about whether you made the right choice.
If the child already is, it is much more difficult. Because you have nothing to cover - you have already given your husband everything you could. However, many "civic" fathers after the birth of the first child agree to a stamp in their passport. The main thing, again, is not to miss the time when the newly-born father is touched to the point of insanity. You can explain that the future procedure for the adoption of your own child is pure madness - and under this business you will get the coveted stamp.
If your civil husband does not refuse to marry, but simply leads you by the nose with empty promises, putting off the stamp on a foggy future - and this is a favorite male tactic - do not despair. You can come to the aid of relatives of her husband. Yes, yes, it is better to have friendly relations with a future relative. If you manage to arrange for your mother-in-law, be sure, she will do everything to her son to marry you. Especially, if you will visit what you really want, but you can not give birth to unborn grandchildren. Under the pressure of two beloved women, the fortress of male independence will surely fall.
If you are not lucky with your relatives, or your husband was extremely stubborn, and does not agree to marry in any way, you should remember about philosophy. Nothing in this world happens by chance. And if your marriage does not take shape, maybe it's for the best? Maybe fate has prepared you for another husband, and while you are fighting for a stamp, your half is looking for you around the world? By the way, even if you are not a philosopher, I advise you to share these reflections with a man. Tell him the story of a girlfriend who lived in a civil marriage, and thank God that they did not get married, because she once fell in love ... For men, these stories act like ammonia. Because despite the "free marriage" men remain proprietors.
Finally - wish future civil wives. In order to look at each other in a civil marriage, there is nothing shameful. It will even strengthen your union if you act reasonably from the very beginning. Before you agree to "live together", specify the time. Arrange initially, that if everything goes well, you will marry in six months, for example. In this case, you will have a trump card in the form of an honest man's word. And do not think that talking about the wedding scare men away. Yes, they treat them with caution, this is nature, but agreeing to live together , any man understands that he is going to create a family - albeit informal - so boldly declare his desire to change his name after a certain period. Good luck!