Development of the child's communication with adults and peers

Any mother wants her precious child to grow not only smart and healthy, but also happy! The latter is only possible if the child has good relations with others, primarily with peers. How can he help gain credibility? When the baby is born, the whole world for him is the lama.

Warm, cozy. Then the world expands to the pope, grandmothers, grandfathers, brothers and sisters - all those with whom he communicates constantly. For the time being, crumbs are comfortable in the family cocoon, but then it becomes tight there. He begins to go to a kindergarten, a swimming pool, a music school, gets to know new people and gets new knowledge about how to behave and how to behave in society, what norms to adhere to. In the scientific language, this is called socialization - personal development and adaptation to the environment. How to make this process more comfortable and simple for the baby? The development of the child's communication with adults and peers is an important topic for today.

About age

First, help the child overcome fear of other people. After socialization without communication does not happen. The need for communication in humans in the blood. And not only in humans, by the way. Many animals come together in packs - it's easier to survive. Therefore, the child wants, you do not want, but you have to join the team. First, it will help him become more active and confident in himself, and secondly, he will teach him how to think creatively. After all, adults always squeeze a child into some kind of framework: do not do it, do not play it, do not run there, while friends constantly volcanize with some ideas (even if this idea is to throw a little sister a frog in bed or draw a cow on the wallpaper). However, this does not mean that the child needs to be introduced into the children's society in the same way as learning to swim, throwing into the river - maybe it will float out. Maybe he'll come out, maybe he'll get some water. In such a delicate matter, it is important to take into account the peculiarities of age psychology. Kids until two or three years are unlikely to be pleased if you leave them alone with neighbor's offspring: "While playing here in the typewriters, we'll have coffee in the kitchen." Do not have time to spill coffee on the cups, as from the children's cries will be heard: there will certainly be a scuffle. Kids do not yet know how to be friends: they play near, but not together, and a bright toy in the hands of one will necessarily become an apple of discord.

Note: to help

To help the crumb to adapt, lead him to developmental pursuits (but without fanaticism: two times a week is enough), on the playground. In four or five years, children begin to get real pleasure from communicating with peers. And although the kids at this age are quite harmful: they brag about each other, tease, fight and generally remind not of friends-comrades, but of spiteful competitors, yet this is a healthy competition - after all they are trying to catch up and overtake the opponent. An unfamiliar situation, whether it be guests, the circus or the metro, does not scare them any more, on the contrary, everything becomes interesting to them. That is why most psychologists are convinced that it is by the age of four that a child "ripens" for a kindergarten. To the note: five-year plans will be much less likely to converge in melee, if you throw them a couple of games, where they will be equally active. In six or seven years, children become friendlier and more responsive. They talk for a long time "for life" (they used to communicate mostly during the game), share their secrets with each other, talk about the trip to the grandmother, etc. That is, they communicate almost like adults. And this, of course, helps them to better adapt to the school. To the note: at this age children get into flocks and often friends "against someone". If your child is an outcast, find out the reason for the conflict and help him make peace with his classmates - he himself will not be able to cope.

In adolescence

a child without communication withers in a literal and figurative sense. And although the process of socialization is in full swing, the teenager is already quite well oriented in the laws of society. So much that allows themselves to break them, breaking common traditions. Thus, it is self-assertive and self-expressive. To the note: it is important for a teenager to be like his friends, this is a means of gaining authority. So do not be surprised if your daughter-daughter, brought up on classical music and literature, suddenly became a fan of anime, when the whole class is raving about it. Remember the inscription on the ring of King Solomon: "And it will pass ..."?

About the kindergarten

Children need to communicate not only with peers, but also with adults: relatives, friends of parents, doctors, educators, teachers, etc. After all, society is different, and one must be able to find a common language with each of its representatives. And it does not matter if someone from adults flips your precious offspring in the nose or reads it to him. Therefore, from the point of view of socialization, a kindergarten is a blessing. However, if you are afraid to leave your son or daughter for a long time with strangers (usually mummies with a hypertrophied sense of responsibility), even with professional educators, the child can get his share of "adult" communication with teachers from the developing center, a swimming coach, a teacher music, etc. The main thing - do not keep it in isolation. And you can just take the child to a kindergarten for half a day. By the way, such an option, as well as classes in various developmental centers and early development schools, is especially shown to sick, anxious and slow children (the latter can hardly get used to kindergarten discipline: they do not have time to remove toys, eat, dress for a walk, other children). To the note: mothers with a hypertrophied sense of parental love can often invite their friends to their homes with children or go to visit them. Thus, you will kill two birds with one stone: your beloved offspring will remain with you, but at the same time will get used to other people.

About the school

There are fewer alternatives for this institution. That is, they are: you can choose between a private and public school or, for example, an educational institution with in-depth study of individual subjects, but the essence of the matter does not change from this - it is unlikely to "bite" from school as from a kindergarten. But this is not necessary. After all, the general education school is also a survival school, where the child learns to gain prestige, rebuff, work in a team. There are no such problems for students in elite schools. "Scary far from the people," they poorly represent the problems of their less well-off peers, so they have a more theoretical rather than a practical idea of ​​life. In addition, in some elite schools, the level of knowledge, alas, leaves much to be desired: pupils are put in fives only out of respect for their parents. To the note: if YOU sweep between schools, trying to protect the child from the bad influence of the street, THIS IS pointless - drugs and alcohol now, alas, can be found everywhere. We must start, again, with the family, explaining to the child (explaining calmly, friendly, convincing), what is good, and what is bad. Then he will learn how to repel drug addicts and hooligans. And he will receive valuable experience, which later will be very useful to him in adulthood.

And do not fight any more!

Conflicts with peers - a thing unpleasant, but in some way useful. After all, the child learns to defend his interests. Your task is to teach him to solve conflicts peacefully.

■ Accustom the heir to use words, not fists. For example, you can not beat a neighbor in the sandbox, if he destroyed the sand castle, but you can say: "Do not touch, will it be nice if I trample yours?"

■ Try to react calmly to child's disassembly. No matter how much you want to punish the offender of your son, keep yourself in hand. Firstly, he is still a child himself, and you are an adult, and secondly, you will not protect your child until his very pension?

■ If your child has some features of appearance (snub nose, freckles, fullness and the like), persuade him to take it easy. Teach your child to take a blow - do not roar in response to insults and do not rush into the battle (otherwise the next time he will be specifically provoked, trying to anger), and calmly reply: "Yes, I'm fat, and I like it. the skeleton is walking, and, look, you will fall. " The main thing at this moment is to remain calm, even indifference, then the provocateurs will lose interest in it.

■ Do not insist that the child go against the current, showing to others their individuality. Children do not like upstarts - it's annoying and embittering. So until a certain age a small person is important not to stand out among the others.

7 symptoms of poor adaptation

Your child may have difficulty communicating with peers if he ...

Of course, each item in itself is not a reason for panic. But if all these "symptoms" are manifested in a complex, the psychologist's help is required.