How to conduct a conversation effectively enough to come to a mutually beneficial solution?
The art of negotiating, especially the conduct of a dispute, presupposes not only a clear motivation and the capacity for convincing reasoning. It's no secret that perseverance in trying to find mutual understanding with the interlocutor can lead to irritation and quick temper of the opponent, unwillingness to continue the conversation, and sometimes to force him to be insincere. As a result, instead of the desired "yes", you will come across stubborn "no", and the chances of breaking such a wall will tend to zero.
The goal: to reach a mutually acceptable moment of finding out the relationships and solutions of solution situations with minimal time spent, in a friendly atmosphere.
Start by clarifying the relationship and interests of the opponent: what worries him, what he needs, what he wants. Understand the motives of his behavior. What is hidden behind the reluctance to come to the "common denominator"? There can be many reasons for this: irritation, mistrust, the fear of remaining "defeated," the usual stubbornness ... Or he simply does not interest your suggestions. This is a serious test for your patience.
Experts offer five simple techniques, following which, you have all the chances to achieve the goal.
1. Keep yourself in hand
In any case, do not let the conversation go into a banal squabble - this is ineffective for clarifying the relations and permitting situations. Be careful, avoid spontaneous reactions to the words of the interlocutor. Remember: your goal is to achieve your goal, not to "finish off" your opponent.
2. Take his side
No, it does not in any way refer to capitulation. At this stage, your goal is to defuse the situation, dispel suspicion, negative emotions of the interlocutor, make him listen to you. Speech is very useful for this, like: "Yes, in this you are right ...", or "It's hard not to agree with this" ... At the same time, it is necessary to continue resolutely and optimistically to state your position, emphasizing that a mutually beneficial agreement is quite realistic.
3. Identify goals
After the transition in the "one wave" relationship, it is time to shift the focus from the bidding around the stated goals to discuss ways to achieve them by both sides. Listen carefully to the interlocutor: he must clearly articulate his positions. Ask him what he sees the essence of the problem, which, in his opinion, hinders her resolution. This is an important stage - the transition to a joint search for a solution. Push him to the cooperation, slightly "release forward" the opponent. Hooks "help me understand how you see it," "explain, please ..." "swallow" almost everything. But remember: the demonstration of respect and interest should be sincere!
4. For your victory!
The conversation in the relationship went to the home stretch, but you should not relax. Excessive haste in the final of negotiations is the risk of irritation or suspicion of the opponent. Or, worse, haste can make the interlocutor feel "defeated". Then all your diplomatic efforts will go wrong. Build your opponent a "golden bridge for retreat." He should not "lose face" at the end of the conversation. Having done everything to ensure that "yes" was given to him as easily as possible, you won in a duel.
5. A dangerous option
If you do not achieve a solid "yes" in your own relationship, try to make it so difficult for the opponent to say "no." Stock up with patience and strong arguments, bring to the knowledge of the "heavy opponent" that failure to reach mutually beneficial solutions will cost more than both sides. Refuse intimidation or blackmail - this will lead to a new round of disputes, and even conflict. After all, you do not need an enemy, but a partner to achieve your goals.