Envy for the good

Everyone knows that envy is one of the most destructive feelings. Envious people are never happy and happy with their lives, while the affairs of others are going well. They build intrigues, nurture insidious plans, are angry with impotence and endlessly suffer. But the feeling of envy can be not only disastrous, but also useful, if you know how to use it to your advantage.

Colors of envy.
Some compare jealousy with instinct - sometimes it is almost impossible to fight against it, as one can not refuse to show a sense of self-preservation. But it's worth knowing the enemy in person before starting to fight him.
That oppressive feeling, like jealousy. Which we experience, as if the whole world should belong to us alone, is called black envy. The feeling that moves us to achieve new heights, to the desire to be no worse than others, is white envy. True, psychologists are skeptical of such divisions and say that envy is not black and white, it can be controlled and not.

The so-called black envy is inherent in many people, some torment for years, others pass quickly, like a flash. In many respects it depends on the character, on the desire to be independent and free, on the ability to achieve the goals set and on the degree of contentment with oneself. It is noticed that happy people and people who have a purpose, taking steps towards achieving this goal, are much less likely to get that same black envy. If you let go of envy and stop controlling it, you can miss a lot of precious time that you could spend on improving your own life.

If someone's fate and someone's achievements please us enough that we tell ourselves that we would like to achieve the same thing that we are ready to fight and try for this, this feeling can be called creative. Whatever stands behind it, it moves us for good purposes.

How to deal with envy?
To begin with, it is necessary to find out what or who exactly causes envy and why. Envy is not born from scratch. It arises only in cases when we are experiencing an acute shortage in something, for example, in love or money, you can not achieve what you want, but we see it in abundant others. Or it seems to us that we see. The first thing that needs to be done in this case is to admit that you are really envious, and do not get irritated by something else.
Recognition of one's own mistakes has a very powerful therapeutic effect. Firstly, it is reliable information, and information, as you know, rules the world. Secondly, it is a step to forgive yourself for such emotions and allow yourself to be what you are. In addition, recognizing the envy, few will refuse to get rid of this feeling.

Then honestly determine the reasons for which there was envy. It does not appear from scratch. So, you do not have enough of something that this person has. Maybe success, optimism, appearance or something else. The main thing at this stage is to realize that the impossible does not exist and what the object of envy has, it may well be with you. And maybe not to be - it all depends on how much effort you pave to achieve the goal. At the same time, one should not try to spoil the life of a person or take someone else's self-happiness does not add to it, but complexes and feelings of guilt are more than worthwhile. Therefore, it is necessary to direct energy to a peaceful channel, that is, to self-development.
If the desire to have the same slim figure, a happy family , a high position, like someone really strong, you can easily overcome all the difficulties in order to achieve this. But it can also happen that in the process you will understand that you are pursuing false goals, that in fact you want something different, your own, not like what makes the happiness of others. Do not despair, because to live your own life without looking at others - this is the very freedom and the guarantee of happiness.

It is important to understand that envy is experienced from time to time by absolutely all people. those who say that deprived of such emotions, as a rule, disingenuous. The saying that a neighbor's grass is always greener is invented not in vain and works even for those people who seemingly have everything they can dream about. So do not complex it. And fight with what gives you discomfort. Negative emotions can be subordinated to the will and profit to oneself.