Exposing myths about marriage

Marriage is a trait behind which many people see only the darkness of the unknown. He is fanned by myths and stereotypes that are firmly rooted in our minds. What will happen after the engagement ring is on your finger? Everything will remain as before, or vice versa, everything will be different? Such questions revolve around everyone who plans to create a happy family. Let us dispel some myths and illusions that prevent us from crossing the line of loneliness and ordinary cohabitation.


Myth number 1. After the wedding, the sex will be much less.

True. In fact, there is no need to worry about sexuality after the wedding, because studies have shown that couples who are in love are more likely to make love than people who just live together. Moreover, couples who have tied themselves up in marriage are much happier in bed than "free" couples. Perhaps this is due to the fact that the people who married, did so for love and consciously, and many people live together simply out of habit, by inertia and in the meantime they look after the seed applicants for a joint life.

Myth number 2. If you live long together before the wedding, then the marriage will be strong.

True. If you are already used to the fact that your partner is throwing socks around the house, this does not mean that the worst thing is already behind. Studies at Yale University have shown that couples who lived together before their marriage break up twice as often, those who did not do it . When people just live together, they do not so demand each other, and when the moment of marriage comes, you can start thinking: "I married not because of what I always dreamed of!" Some psychologists say that it is not necessary to live together before the wedding, but to have sex is useful and even necessary ...

Myth number 3. Together with marriage, you can forget about all the pleasures.

True. Many people think that after the wedding life will become a grind, but no one thinks that everything depends on us! Of course, instead of noisy parties you will walk around the park with the child, but this is also a pleasure, pleasant moments of life.

Myth number 4. If you argue all the time, then do not approach each other.

True. Everything is absolutely wrong and even vice versa, it is indicative that you have a healthy relationship. After all, for the conflict to be exhausted, it is necessary to voice and discuss it. Naturally, it is not necessary to discuss each situation with a dirty dish. But happy and strong marriages are based on the method of reconciliation and criticism. One British psychologist says that all critical reviews should be compensated with compliments in the ratio 1: 5. For example, after one "abnormal", there should be five "beauties", "sweet," "beloved", etc. A waxed ratio decreases 1: 3, then it is worth thinking about.

Myth number 5. Children Strengthen Marriage

True. Do you think that the nightly crying of children and the constant change of diapers will make your marriage stronger? You do not need to hope for it. Unfortunately, with the appearance of the baby in the family, the dynamics of the relationship between the spouses is outlined. Many couples can not overcome this even during their entire life. If your relationship is at the stage of destruction, then do not rely on the fact that the baby can vassblyzit, he can and vice versa, push you away from each other forever.

Myth number 6. Marriage is unnatural.

True. Probably, only independent men want to have it. After all, they have such a promise - to fertilize as many females as possible. But we can say that a woman destroys the institution of marriage, because after the wedding, we begin to be more independent, independent and economical.

Myth number 7. Brakers health.

True. The British magazine published an article in which it is said that bachelors aged more than 40 die twice as often as men who are married. Russian studies suggest the same thing.

Scientists say that married men are less likely to suffer from colds, headaches and back pain. But some workers at the University of Oslo said that if a husband has an intelligent wife, then the risk of cardiovascular disease is reduced. How? Simply because she cares about him and protects his nervous system from all sorts of stresses.

Myth number 8. If romance is not lost, then the marriage will last longer.

True. Men can with pure conscience pass mimosa stalls. In Britain, studies have shown that partnership and commitment to marriage are more important than displays of feelings and flowers.

Myth number 9. If there is a divorce, then you yourself are to blame.

True. If you want flowers in the garden to bloom, and the dishes are received more than once tastier, then you need to pay due attention to this. In marriage, everything is exactly the same. Our requirements to each other constantly change, as well as needs. Through the years you can generally understand that absolutely different people. And how then have you lived together for so many years?

Naturally, self-criticism is good, but in moderation. Remember that in marriage and in divorce, two people must take part. So both are to blame for the situation, both spouses.

Myth number 10. Now practically all marriages end in divorce.

True. Not all, but many. For example, in 2007, 686,000 couples divorced in Russia, but married twice as many - almost 1.3 million. Of course, this is not good, but so far there is no such way that could maintain and strengthen the marriage completely.

Myth number 11. In marriage, women live worse than women.

True. Women and men, who are married, often live happier and longer than those who at their age are singles alone. Moreover, family people, regardless of gender, often earn more and have better health.

Myth number 12. He is less than her.

True. In fact, this is so. At the University of London, a study was conducted in which 4500 women and men were interviewed, and it was explained that women, indeed, get more pleasure from marriage than men. The psychological state of a man is more stable if they live in a civil marriage, and not in an official marriage. It is important for men to feel free, even if in fact it is not so.

Many psychologists say that they come to the consultation only officially married men and not one who lives in civilian marriage. And vice versa - women come with complaints that their partners do not want to marry, but married women are much less.

Myth number 13. To create a family, you need a strong financial position.

True. In fact, only a man should think about it, but not a woman. To achieve financial independence, a good career and some other achievements, you need time, not just one year, so if a woman starts to achieve this, then in return she gives her best years, maiden beauty and youth. All her best natural gifts on her career and training, although not yet a fact that she will achieve the desired. Because of this, a woman can not easily find a decent half, because she is ambitious and chaste.

In addition, in young years girls are fully interested in love and courtship, and if she decided not to create a family, she begins to commit adultery with different young people.

Myth number 14. An educated woman looks for her husband longer and it is more difficult for her to get married.

True. Perhaps earlier it was so, but today the educated and intelligent woman, on the contrary, has more chances to get married, in comparison with those girls who have a "wind" in their head, regardless of age.

Incidentally, Charles Hill, an American professor, investigated 200 pairs that had been married for more than 25 years, and derived the formula of marital success.

  1. Do not create a family and do not fall in love with a partner who is much more or less attractive than you.
  2. Create a family with a person about their intellectual development and age.
  3. And most importantly - more and more often make love!

Do not let myths and illusions destroy your life, only you decide what it will be like. Marry and live happily!