Work on bugs
Do not bully, but try to interest the desired command. For example: "If you eat well, then you will be strong and you will be able to ride a bicycle fast". "If you sleep in the daytime - you will get strength, you can go for a long walk in the zoo." These phrases the child understands as "you are bad, you will never get anything." It literally ruins self-confidence and one's own strength. In the future, such a child is unlikely to want to try their hand at the sports section or the music school. Making mistakes, the child develops and develops self-confidence. We can help him with phrases: "Try again!"; "Broke? It's not scary, now we'll fix it! ".
Comparison
"Masha is also three, and she is washing her hands herself!"; "Look at the boy - he never fights!". The child begins to doubt - do parents really love him? Maybe, the neighbor Masha still more? And will they not go to her forever? As a result, instead of a "positive example" the child gets fear and confusion, and instead of the desire to imitate the neighbor Mashe - jealousy and the desire to pull it like a pigtail, so that it is not so good. A much more correct strategy is to arrange a competition for the child ... with himself. A month ago he still did not wash his hands himself - and now he started: he did not know how to ride a bicycle a year ago - now he drives without "satellites" ... Start a beautiful magazine of successes and watch it with the baby. A reminder of past victories will push the child to new ones achievements.
Praising
"You are the cleverest of me (capable, handsome ...); "Where Sashka is before you!", Try not to praise the very baby ("You are the most wonderful of us"), and his actions ("You have perfectly drawn", "You did everything well"). Otherwise, the child will be too dependent on the approval of others and will seek to praise, and not to achieve the goal. In addition, soon your little one will be in the first children's team (kindergarten, school), where peers are unlikely to rush to recognize his "star". And this can become quite a strong disappointment.
Charges
"Stop shouting - my head is going to burst!"; "V grandmother just did not stop the heart!" And t. The child takes everything literally. Sensitive and emotional babies can turn into silent ones - after all, because of any open manifestation of emotions, momma can fly to pieces! Karapuzy foolishly experiment with: with the height and loudness of cries, they will be convinced that the head-hearts are all intact, and they will ignore all your calls. Later these children are unlikely to sympathize with you during the illness - my mother had joked so many times that it hurts ... The best way to deal with the raging baby is to switch his attention to the game. Worn by the apartment with primitive screams - come up and whisper something in your ear.
Ultimatums
If you get accustomed to the regime only through an ultimatum, call for help the game. For example, a soup is a mors, in which float boats-vegetables. Your "kitty" will willingly swallow it "
Blackmail of love
"I do not like you like that!"; "Well, who will be friends with such a chumaz?"; "You will not obey - I will not love!". Not a single child these phrases are not made to behave well. On the contrary, the child begins to feel a strong fear and confusion. And tries to return the mother's interest in any available ways - that is, whims and hysterics. After all, the child subconsciously feels that the mother's love or lack of it for him is a matter of survival, then it's not up to good manners! Not to mention that blackmail with love can lead to low self-esteem for long goals: the child will remember that in itself he does not deserve love, unless unless he will fulfill all the wishes of others. The most important for the moms is the "grammatical" rule: in relation to the baby, the word "love" with the particle "not" is not used. There are no exceptions to the rule.
When silence is gold
You want to criticize your husband (wife, grandmother of the child). These phrases usually mutter to themselves, when the object of criticism is not around. "Dad's not wearing your hat again!"; "Mom will now assemble one hundred years!"; "Has your grandmother made it up? Only spoiled! "... It seems to you, little does not pay attention to these words? Yes, and you addressed them, in general, not a child, attacks, couples released? Keep in mind: all these passages are deposited in the child's soul or in the form of resentment (after all, he feels part of his mother and father, if the father is bad, then he himself is bad); or in the form of distrust to you ("one eye, another's eyes"). Constant "slander" leads to the fact that the criticized relative loses respect for the baby. Grumble at my mother-in-law? Then do not wait for the child to stay with her, behaving well. You are drawn to discuss the child in his presence. Children get used to thinking about themselves what their parents say about them. Therefore, when a child enthusiastically digs a shovel, do not be frank with a friend: "He's weak," "Something in tears," and "In the kindergarten with him were tortured."