Perhaps, in order to become a good parent, you must first learn this? We started, for example, prepare future mothers and dads for childbirth. However, as soon as you can answer questions related to the health of the child, you may have other, more complex questions, to which you do not immediately find the answer:
"Do I do everything right?","Do not I pamper him too much?",
"How is this explained to the baby?",
"Should I do this at all?".
All these questions are quite natural. Most often they are not related to your desire to assert yourself in the role of mother, but are caused by a completely normal desire to help the child in his development and natural ignorance of how best to do it.
Undeniable truth
Unfortunately, universal councils do not exist. What is great for one child may be harmful to another. What works well for some parents does not apply to others. The only absolute truth that no one doubts is that both you and your baby are living people who are able to see and hear each other, feel each other feelings, be imperfect, resent, forgive, something to change around you and in yourself.
Best advisor
But how can you take care of the baby? Firstly, it is worth to say to myself that the best mother is the one that the child has, since it has the main thing: it is the connection with this baby and the desire to take care of it. Of course, not everyone does not immediately understand how to act, but every parent and every child will be able to somehow adjust themselves to each other. After all, the kid is also very interested in being heard and understood! So your relationship with your son or daughter is the best counselor. If in communication with them you do not try to remain on the "adult" intellectual-verbal level, but are ready to speak in their own language of emotions and body, the children themselves will prompt how best to take care of them. If you trust your relationships and rely on them, then you do not need to spend near the kid all the time, without taking his eyes off him. The child himself will let know when he needs you, and when he is ready to let you go. You just have to provide for his needs and, if something goes wrong, your parental anxiety better than any outside observer will make you alert, pay attention, take the necessary steps.
Do not be afraid of mistakes!
If you are ready to recognize your own imperfection, it will be easier for you to let the baby realize it. Only in this case he will not be afraid of condemnation or rejection and will learn to talk about himself and about what he does not like and what worries. So it will be easier for you to help him survive something that can not be changed, and teach you how to handle your antisocial desires in a way that does not harm anyone. Your baby, like yourself, will inevitably go through mistakes, shame, regret. There will be no other way for him to grow up. However, in your power to make sure that your relationship is worth saving, and the kid understands the true meaning of the norms that you are instilling in him.