There has long been a stereotype that the main purpose of women is to give birth to children and engage in their upbringing, while the husband works and provides the whole family. For a very long time, most couples built their be, adhering to just such a principle. But! As you know, everything in life is changing - this situation has changed.
Many modern mothers are forced to go to work almost immediately after the birth of the child. Everyone has his own motivation, of course. Someone clings to the post or can not refuse to the boss, others are interested in the material side of the issue, the third important is the status. In any case, an early exit to work can cause the development of a "bad mother" complex.
We will not deceive ourselves or others. Combining a family and a successful career is really very difficult, moreover, not every mom is able to do it. Reconsider your abilities and attitude to work. Will you be able to abandon the downloaded schedule, taking only part-time work at home? If not, have the angelic patience and read our advice. Correctly chosen tactics will help to avoid a number of serious problems.
Change the way of thinking
If you are visited by the thought that you do not fully cope with your maternal duties, that you give your child too little time, you know absolutely nothing about him and you are tormented by remorse ... Stop! For your child, you have always been and will be the closest, dearest and beloved person whom he always waits, which he always needs. In the end, even during rare short meetings it is possible to establish close emotional contact with the baby, which will become a solid basis for trusting relations between you.
Remember, your state of health and mood are transferred to the baby. With your experiences, you give discomfort not only to yourself, but also to him, which can cause indisposition, moods, problems with food and sleep. Do not lead up to this. There is one very simple, but at the same time, effective psychological practice that will become for you in such a case a "lifebuoy". Repeat the phrase: "I am the most wonderful and wonderful mother for my baby" until she settles in your subconscious mind, the way of thinking, actions and attitude to specific life situations.
Do not give up breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is the closest communication between mother and baby. What can we say about the health benefits and immunity of the child. Breast milk can not be fully replaced by any even the most modern and expensive artificial mixture. It will be wonderful if you manage to preserve breastfeeding.
Many moms believe that it can not be combined with an active lifestyle. There is a compromise! Mother's milk has unique properties, and therefore it can be stored for about 8 hours at room temperature, 3 days in the refrigerator and 3 months in the freezer. In doing so, it will retain its quality characteristics. Is not it awesome? If this option does not suit you, there is one more solution. In some cities, special transportation services have appeared, which quickly respond to your demand to deliver milk to the desired destination. It is worth noting that this service is gaining more attention from business moms.
Do not look for the guilty ones
Some young mothers, for whom going to work became a compulsory necessity, are trying to blame her husband for everything. After all, the idea is that he should work, feed and fully support the family, and you, in turn, have the full moral right to sit on leave to care for the child. Perhaps everything is true, but only if such a situation in your life already exists, is not it easier to just accept it? Why look for the guilty, accumulate resentment, disappointment, arrange on this basis disassembly and personally destroy the relationship? Children should grow in an atmosphere of love, mutual understanding and psychological comfort.
Show more interest in the life of the child
Leaving the child with your father, grandmother or nanny, when you return home, ask them about the smallest changes that have occurred in the baby for the past day, ranging from redness to the ass and ending with how he ate, slept and went to the toilet. This will allow you to more consciously experience the growth and development of the child, and therefore less worry. And let the adults from the environment of the baby tell him what a wonderful mom he has.
Free time leave for the family
Make every effort to work, you can only give time. Free time for your husband and children. Spend with them the morning and evening hours, weekends and be sure to leave. Build joint plans. Promise to the child only what you can really accomplish, otherwise you will lose his trust and tear up that very fine thread of mutual understanding.
Do not encourage permissiveness
The most common mistake of a business mother is to suppress her "guilt" with permissiveness. Mom, feeling before the kid guilty, in rare meetings with him is afraid to go against his wishes and does not forbid him anything. The child quickly recognizes the weak point and uses it to his advantage, sometimes resorting even to blackmail. Your strategy of education should not differ from the strategy of educating those with whom the child spends most of his time.
Less gifts - more kind words
Much more important for the baby is playing with the mother, rather than some material values. Many business mothers "pay off" from their children. Do not make such a mistake! It is not necessary at every opportunity to devastate children's toy stores, instead of going for a walk, as planned, to hand in another present and rush to work. All this is fraught with not very good, first of all for you, consequences. When a child grows up, he will see in you only a source of satisfaction of his material interests. Try to establish contact with the child not with the help of gifts, but with the help of kind words and deeds.
Making a choice between a career and a child, do not put a cross on yourself. Nobody will appreciate such victims. A child needs a happy mother, not tormented, nervous and unsatisfied. If the job is fun for you, and the family has a pleasant friendly atmosphere, then the child will be happy too.
Opinion of psychologist
Having plunged headlong into one sphere of life, be it business or household chores, a woman can not feel herself truly happy and harmonious. Each of us always plays several roles (mother, wife, friend, colleague, employer ...), and all of them should be equally present in our lives. Without this, we will not be able to personally develop and grow spiritually. As for the specific work, learn how to structure it correctly, do not be afraid to delegate authority, and intelligently allocate time. If you have indicated that your work day ends at 18:00, then at this time you need to leave the office and go to the children who are looking forward to your return. All this is not easy, but it is quite achievable. You should be aware of the purpose and cause of your actions, then you will be able to come to the desired result.