It was such a contrast to our lush tables, and to long traditional wedding feasts. But if you want to know how the wedding of a Russian couple in the Diaspora is going on, then read this article. I will try to be objective and tell in detail on the examples I've learned, how the wedding is going in the USA.
In America, everything has an imprint of a well-planned and calculated business, a wedding too. Although it begins, as we do, with the recognition of lovers, and the seriousness of intentions is confirmed by material evidence - a ring costing from 500 to several thousand, or even more dollars. The main component of this decoration is a diamond, which then the bride shows all with pride, and they gasp and groan: "Oh ... beautiful!"
After that, families get acquainted with the date of the wedding itself and the location of the wedding. Since before the wedding usually there is still a year or even two times - the young people not only book a room, agree on which church or where this will take place (often the marriage is in a special hotel room or in a park, in a residence, etc.) , but also agree on the time and place of the mandatory after-journey travel, which in advance buy tickets and book a hotel. In addition, most couples begin to look for a house or apartment for living together.
Approximately six months later, the newlyweds inform their relatives and friends about the solemnity, sending a whole package with messages: where and when the wedding takes place, the possibilities for traveling and renting hotels, how the wedding will be held, and, very importantly, the list of desired gifts, indicating in which they can be ordered. The invitation is also accompanied by a separate envelope and a card to be returned before the deadline, informing you at the wedding or not and what gift you can buy ... The invitation for a wedding for a Russian couple usually has some Slavic symbols. For example, recently my husband and I made invitations with the image of the Russian church and plastonic symbols, as the newlyweds were plastemen and married in Russia, although the wedding took place in the United States.
Somewhere for a month the bride sends an invitation to close friends to participate in the "schauver" (hen party) and boyish fun. I do not know how it is at a young evening, because only men are invited there, but on the "shawers" of brides I was repeatedly. This is mainly a dinner with the participation of girlfriends and relatives or girlfriends of the bride. All guests should come with gifts. This is an old American tradition. Since the first settlers were very poor emigrants, they brought the most necessary things for a young couple - a towel, a bowl, a spoon ...
On the eve of the wedding of friendship, which is usually 3-4 pairs, the godparents and the parents of the newlyweds gather to the place where the wedding ceremony will take place, to make repeated rehearsal of the marriage. Everything must be done with instructions and an explanation from the priest or presbyter. Then there is a delicious dinner in a good restaurant - this part of the rehearsal is very popular for everyone present!
The wedding in the United States has more features of our Russian wedding - a loaf in the hands of godparents and icons, solemn oath, crowns on the heads of the newlyweds, bandaging with a towel or handkerchief, covering the towel in front of the analo, and most importantly - good singing (often the singer is specially invited for this or even members of the famous bandura band, all of which provide not only festivities, but also very impressive guests of other nationalities, by the way, the rituals of the Ukrainian wedding made in several Hollywood films. and the couple and immediate family members are going to do a photo somewhere in the midst of nature. (Wedding in the US takes place without this tradition).
Meanwhile, the guests are waiting for the appointed time to come to the festively decorated hall, where at the entrance are exhibited cards with their names and table numbers so that everyone could know where his place is. In the festive room there is also a special table for gifts with a box for envelopes with wishes and money. The guests go into the hall, find their seats, go to the bar and order something to drink ... Then the host invites us to sit at the tables, the central table on the dais - for the newlyweds and the friend. The parents of the bride and groom come first to the hall, then in pairs of friendship, and here's the solemn minute: "Mrs. and Mr. M" - the audience applauds, screams, whistles to meet the young ones who are heading to their places in the center of the main table. Everyone pours a glass of wine - the first toast for the newlyweds ...
What dishes are served - I already told you. True, the example was taken from a marriage that took place on Halloween - a kind of theatrical celebration of spirits. From there and black dresses are a friend, although they are usually blue, dark pink, purple, depending on what the young man likes. The clothes of the young are traditionally white, but often with elements of folk embroidery or stylized for folk motives.
There is not much food at the celebration. New arrivals from the so-called fourth wave have recently made changes to the menu - on the tables you can see a variety of snacks, but the hot dish is usually one. Also now, in addition to the traditional wedding cake, they share a loaf and serve more kinds of cookies. The wedding in the US is no different
Began to sound songs. After all, not so long ago there were only dances ... But what! Young people in Russian communities may not speak Russian, but willingly takes lessons in playing bandura and studies folk dances. Hence the remarkable competition of dancers on almost every Russian wedding. From the rituals brought from home, the most popular is the covering of a young woman's handkerchief at the end of the fun. Usually the wedding ends at about 12 am, the newlyweds go on a honeymoon, and the girl who caught the wedding bouquet dreams of her own wedding, which should take place soon.
R.S. Undoubtedly, this is a generalized description of the wedding in America. In large Ukrainian communities, weddings have more Ukrainian traditional elements, in small towns or in communities where the descendants of the first settlers live, Russian customs have survived only in the church ceremony. However, each time participants of the celebration remember such a wedding as an extremely interesting event.