"A strong woman and a weak man are a farce or a perversion"
"You need to change to meet your man." And if I do not want to change myself? - pours out the soul of Jan, 36-year-old employee of the audit firm, which is busy searching for her husband. - Why just a little - so immediately change yourself? I like myself. And not only to myself, but also to the employer, clients and girlfriends. And even to other people's dogs. I'm alright. And I need a little from a man! I do not need any breadwinner, no counselor, no support, no sex symbol. But only an intelligent and emotionally responsive, independent middle-aged man. With a decent figure. I have a good salary. I myself am able to solve my problems and I never miss being alone. I'm a good cook, and removes the housekeeper in the apartment. I want honesty in a relationship. In order not to lie to her husband, that he is in the house, if I earn more and have a stronger character. To not pretend to be a fool for his self-esteem! And do not offer me any nice fur seals in an apron and with a vacuum cleaner! My husband has been like this for ten years - home, nowhere working, hysterical and jealous. Just on the shoes of guests from jealousy did not write - and so on all my colleagues and girlfriends rushed. Swore, why I spend more time with them than at home. In response to affection - sulked. During the day he did not eat, because he was offended, and at night secretly gobbled from the refrigerator, like Lokhankin in the novel "The Golden Calf"! No, a strong woman and a weak infantile man is either a farce or a pure perversion. Enough with me! We were sitting in a cafe by the river, hot to the point of foolishness in the August afternoon, pulled a cocktail through the straw and thought about the men. We had a strange impression that if Yana was poor, unhappy, eternally aching, transparent from chronic ills and deprived by the mind of a girl, it would be much easier for her to marry: first, those demands would be even less, secondly , there would be a crowd of men who want to regret, warm and caress the stunted beauty to feel near it strong and significant. We looked through all of our friends who are in a successful marriage, all the familiar men of Yana, made up for her a mini-catalog of nominations for husbands - and found out the amazing things that you and I would gladly share.
Marry a man
Successful - in anything, at least in the sports gathering of mushrooms or in hang gliding, in floristry, forest plantations or insurance business. Success - this is an indicator of high male potency: he - can! With such a man always manages to find a common language: he has fewer cockroaches in his head and he does not bother you with his envy. And yet: it turns out, successful - not always rich. Where does the money from the champion of Europe on ice fishing? He spends all his salary on tackles and air tickets. And the devil with them, with his money, you are making money to choose the husbands whom you want - for your mind and pleasantness, and not for your wallet. And what about the losers? We should not worry about this issue. Let the young maidens engaged in failures of middle-aged and older - they have many years left in the reserve, have enough time to take care of it, and give birth to children from it, and sign up for the personal growth training with him, and get away from him if nothing will help. And your biological clock hints - it's time to hurry and not miss. "Gebe can not waste time in vain.
A fool does not take a husband, even if he is a wonderful lover and a kind person
Once a charming young lady said to Bernard Shaw: "What wonderful children could be born in us: beauty - in me, in my mind - in you." The great writer paused and remarked: "And if it turns out on the contrary? .." It is customary for husbands to give birth to children. It's good if your child goes into your mind. And if - in the pope? ..
Do not spend time on chauffeurs and painters
You do not fit a man who is on the lower steps of the social ladder - a driver, a construction worker, a security guard or a plumber. It is customary to say that emotional intelligence - sensitivity, the ability to perceive the beautiful, the desire to learn new things and enjoy it - does not depend on profession and social status, and self-education can replace education. We do not believe! Well, we did not see any emotionally intelligent and highly self-educated guard from the supermarket. And the construction worker - too. Foreman - seen. Even two. A painter - no. For as soon as an emotionally intelligent man is self-educated, he immediately climbs a few steps up and goes to study.
Adherent of any spiritual practice
This is a man who lives halfway with us, and half in his delightful cosmic or energy world. He needs from life a bowl of rice, a rug for meditation, a group of like-minded people, sometimes a crowd of enthusiastic disciples. Of course, money is also needed for him. But he sees no reason to butt like "some macho" with his beloved woman for someone who will get the honor to replenish the bank account. He has another priority - he improves himself and comprehends the secrets of the world. Remove him zalchik - it will gather his companions, erect a house for him outside the city - he will open his school. He does not care where you were after work. He is somewhat removed and so beautiful. You will come to him, to his world, to visit - for spiritual food. If you do not consider communication with the spirits of ancestors and feeding cosmic energy a sign of sluggish schizophrenia - you along the way. You will have to sincerely share at least part of his views - believe in the transmigration of souls or in the fact that in a dream we change the world around us. He is healthy, funny, balanced and not scandalous. And, as a rule, trusting as a child. If you are exhausted by the jealousy of the previous partner, your soul and body in the company of the adept will rest - he will not follow your every step. If you like to gulp itself, he will not notice it, until he collides with a lover in your bed under one blanket. It happens very boring, long expounds its theories. He leads a strange way of life - sometimes he does not sleep at night and eats only after sunset, not always adequate. Periodically refuses to have sex. Periodically requires that you share some of his uncomfortable habits - for example, practicing yoga with him at dawn. Sometimes the professional guru is surrounded by followers - the terrible karma of all successful mentors, and you are jealous of them. And finally, communication with him demands from you an unshakable common sense, so as not to go away with him into the world of his illusions, but to remain in life and at work.
Scientist
A representative of the academic environment is an ideal couple for a successful business woman. He combines the virtues of an adept (he lives in his interesting world, where one can come to visit, but less strange) and a professional (has a strong male character, but is psychologically more stable). The English writer Agatha Christie was married to a brilliant military man. He was a "true" model of a man: handsome handsome, hero, patron, defender, ready to cherish and support his little wife. But as soon as his wife began to earn money by writing, he began to distance herself from her, and when her fame came to her, he started a mistress - a simple and narrow-minded woman, and went to her. Agatha Christie was terribly worried and a little sum did not come from grief. They've divorced. Her second husband was a young archeologist, famous in narrow circles. He rejoiced at the achievements of his wife, and her books amused him. He instilled in her love for the East and travels through Egypt. And they lived together a wonderful long life. You do not impose your own way of life, your friends and girlfriends, and you accept his world. It's interesting with him. He can be trusted. And he almost never changes - because he self-affirms the other way, not through sex. It tends to go into your world, and it will not be shouted out. He is often indifferent to material goods, sometimes scattered. For example, he returns from a scientific seminar without a suitcase - just forgot it on the train and did not notice, because all the toiletries and spare briefs with socks lay in a computer bag. And he was enough. And in general, the devil with him, with a suitcase - we will buy other trousers and another suitcase.
A man is much younger than you (more than seven years)
We are used to ironically grin at the sight of a couple where she is not young and wealthy, but he is young and poor. And we believe that he is a hunter for money or a son who has found himself a mommy. Deny stereotypes: a woman who is much older than herself often falls in love with a serious young man - smart, ambitious, indifferent to public opinion and much more mature than he should have been by years. At 25, he feels like a forty-year-old and marries that woman who corresponds to his psychological, not passport age. He is not interested in coevals. You can not say that these guys are lying around every step of the way. But they exist and some get it. For example, Demi Moore's husband, actor Ashton Kutcher, is fifteen years younger than her. He is conservative in his outlook on life and fully agrees with her in the interests. A woman pretending to love a young man should look not just well-groomed, but stylish and effective. She does not have to look like a girl and flaunt her naked stomach. Her appearance should be attractive and consistent with her status and rich inner world. Otherwise, the young man will not react to it. He is physically healthy, strong and sexy. Brings young energy and drive into relationships. To conceive from him a lady "for 35" is easier than from a peer, - because the fertility of men with age also decreases. Psychological pressure from others: many will predict your relationship an imminent demise. Do not turn attention to envious persons. If the age difference is less than fifteen years, it can be neglected. At a difference of years in 20 count on five-seven years of a joint life. Well, we live for a long time, our life consists of different parts, from several loves and many meetings - why do not you write in the book of your destiny a happy chapter about how you lived with this young man and how you loved each other?
Professional
The option is standard and convenient - a man who loves his job: a doctor, a programmer, a lawyer. At 25, Andrei had a luxurious head of hair - hair below his shoulders, shining eyes and a dream - to teach children mathematics. In forty - Socratic forehead with bald patches, cunning squint behind spectacles and the post of director of the public school. He refused to head a private lyceum - he does not want to depend on other people's money, it's easier for him to get along with the state. He is a teacher from God and a bessrebrenik. And if to him in general no one will pay anything, he will still be dragged to "this school to teach these buggers." But he still gets paid for his professionalism. He was married to a Moscow business lady, from which he half a year with demonic charm shook out money for the trip to Moscow schoolchildren - the winners of the Olympiad in the Russian language. How do they live? And you know - it's good! Just like her friend, a lawyer, sharing shelter with a surgeon. Any man who is passionate about his business, for whom it is most important, is a convenient party for an independent and independent woman. You work with him in different areas, he succeeds in his business, and you do not envy each other. You have a real man in the house. By the strength of character professionals surpass business sharks - it's necessary, with such a talent so love your business, not to go where it is more profitable, and achieve success wherever you like. They are very potent and good at sex. And you can rely on them. It happens that today everything is fine with you and the work burns in your hands, and tomorrow - neither work, nor health. A professional will always stay with you and pull you out of the breakout. Business for him is more important than you. He is at home a little and does not last long, requires careful handling: if it is intrusive to compare him to other men who earn a lot and force them to cook dinner and vacuum in retaliation for low wages, he will go to another or break down and become your personal nightmare, dependent on you and unhappy.