The influence of character on human behavior

As you want to go through life easily, playfully, through the obstacles to fly, but not to break, flutter, flutter, meet smiles and rip off applause. But not everyone can turn into an easy person. And do you know why? Because it is very difficult to become easy. A hard man is much easier. The influence of character on human behavior is the topic of the article.

Who we call an easy man

The one who does not "load" us with his troubles, does not solve his problems at our expense and does not assert himself, proving that we are stupid. This is its main feature. And it seems to us that the easy man himself goes to what we unsuccessfully fight and what we crave - profitable orders, male admiration, female friendship, apartment in the center, a house by the sea, well-bred children and silk mother-in-law. And we admire this trait or envy him, not knowing what and how he pays for this ease. It is easy to communicate with him, because we do not hear complaints about his fate from him. The easy man does not tear off his bad mood on us, does not hang on us his sorrows, does not turn out the dark side of the soul before us, and does not shock the frankness, as in Dostoevsky's novels. The "lightness" of a light person is somewhat ghostly - he has views and principles, he simply does not impose his point of view on anyone and does not prevent others from living as they see fit. The easy person is very stubborn - but only in exceptional cases. It can be witty and even ironic. But the irony of the easy man does not belittle anyone - it touches him and those features of others that they can easily fix. An example of an easy person is Ksenia Sobchak. Many argue that it owes its rapid successes to old ties - her dad was the mayor of St. Petersburg. In fact, Sobchak's career seems so easy because it does not put pressure on others about the terrible complexity and responsibility of his "epoch-making work." She graduated from the most prestigious university in Russia - MGIMO, became one of the best leaders on television and on radio, took excellent interviews for GQ, wrote articles and books, analyzed outfits in the magazine "Sex and the City." And all this makes it playable and, as it were, by the way. Yes, she loves to shock the audience. But who said that an easy person should be a model of public morality? No one! Xenia willingly makes fun of themselves and compares themselves with a spicy "dish of frog legs", which not everyone will like. She ridicules tasteless dresses and funny manners of representatives of the Russian beau monde. Well, the dress does not grow to the skin, you can change toilets, manners are also fixable. But personally, I did not catch her in an incorrect irony over someone's misfortunes or over those traits that are beyond our control: nationality, a talent shortage. Classic confirmation of the ease of Xenia - she has many friends and good friends. She is not just friends with them, she takes an interview with them and writes books! And this is about such ease of character says, which is fit for the angel. Guys can be taken by flirting and sexuality. Another woman does not tie herself to herself, she responds to tolerance and generosity. Uneasy show star Tina Kandelaki says that "it's easy to be friends with Xenia" - she communicates well and helps a lot. With Ksenia excellent employers and colleagues get on well. Once upon a time a great black cat ran between her and her mother. But Xenia did not tell her about it in public. The collisions of their novels were easy to share, knowing how interesting are the details of someone else's love. And about home conflicts was silent - heavy is frankness, interfering with others.

Why is it easy for an easy person to live

He is pleasant to those around him and he is readily invited to visit, invited to work and to travel together. Lightness allows him to quickly change his tactics depending on the situation and achieve success. Suppose you never asked anyone for anything, since there was no need, but it was required to keep a place of work for the time of maternity leave - ask tearfully and persistently, and nothing in you does not break down and does not crumble. I considered myself an independent woman, I never took an iron in my hands, I did not put a frying pan on the stove, and now I fell in love and want to do something pleasant to my beloved. You do not climb into a bottle and do not soar - "how I, so sublime and educated, became dependent, humiliated, with an iron and in the kitchen." You understand that all these conditions are transitory. So why soar? Love will be replaced by a lasting love, and then a servant will appear in the apartment. Or it will disperse, and then the man will leave - and trousers too will take away. And like all the easy people you do not cling to the obsolete - let it go. There will be another. You do not fight life - it carries you in its stream.

Who is a heavy man?

A heavy man presses on us, it's physically hard for him. Even his head aches from him, as he aggravates his unresolved problems, his negative vision of the world and his feelings. He always emphasizes the high price that he is given. He self-affirms and exercises in wit at the expense of others without any sensitivity and indulgence. Sometimes he cuts the truth of the uterus so viciously that there is no living place left. He is always stubborn and insists on his own, even in small things. Communicate with him - it's like that the cars unload. I want to escape from him and never meet again. And besides, a heavy person is talented, clever, generous and highly moral. Critics and viewers still admire actress Faina Ranevskaya, lament how little she played good roles, feel sorry for her bad luck in her personal life and her classic unhappy old age - without a glass of water that no one gave her. They blame Ranevskaya for being too uncomfortable with an acute mind. But all the troubles Ranevskaya not from a sharp mind, but from a heavy-heavy, like a puffy weight, character. Ranevskaya was firmly friends with the beauty and movie star Lyubov Orlova, lent that money and dined at her house. And in a loud voice: "Orlova is an excellent actress. One thing is wrong with her - her voice. When she sings, it seems as if someone is pissing in an empty basin. " Her voice was really weak and rattling. But it is no longer perekovat, so why bother the girlfriend for the sick - for the sake of a redword or out of envy? Lubov Orlova Ranevskaya respected for her talent and reliability and this attitude was tolerated to her, but other friends from Ranevskaya flinched. It's unlikely that the director will give the actress an excellent role if, in response to his remark: "Faina, you have devoured all my plan with your antics!" She declares: "I have a feeling that I'm full of crap." So Ranevskaya spoke with the great Russian director Zavadsky. She did not consider it necessary for him to subdue his obstinate character and did not condescend to explain. The director finished shouting: "Get out of the theater!" She answered: "Get out of art!" They always put up with it: a great director and a great actress understood that they could not live without each other. But the sediment remained. And if Zavadsky could not give the role of Ranevskaya, he did not give it, so as not to be ridiculed by her, repeatedly abused and sent. The beautiful playwright Viktor Rozov, the author of the famous play "Forever Living", once boasted at Ranevskaya: "My last play was such a success! There was a real battle before the box office! "Ranevskaya quizzed:" How did people manage to get money back? "And besides, she was simple-minded, direct and frank as a child. And nothing special its rudeness in someone else's address did not consider. I have a girlfriend, something like Ranevskaya. I know if I need help, she'll come to me in two nights. But before meeting her in a cafe for friendly communication, one must concentrate, gather strength and strengthen the armor against her barbs and eternal discontent with the world and human stupidity.

Where are the light and heavy people

They are not born, they become. According to psychology, we are born without any character at all. At birth, there is only temperament - violent, like a choleric, or calmly sad, like a melancholic, fast and agile like a sanguine, or slow, like a phlegmatic. We get abilities and inclinations - for example, to admire the sky and learn new things or educate and teach. And that's all. A character we acquire during life. After all, character is our attitude to ourselves and to others, plus our habits. The foundation lay mum and dad, until the child turns eight. Then it is influenced by the school and relatives. Some of us get excellent potential from our parents: a self-assured and beloved child is located to others, does not oppress others, does not impose his opinion on anyone and acts himself, as he sees fit. And some are brought up in suspicion of peace and in disregard for society. In any case, at the age of fifteen or sixteen, other people are already stopping us from forming. And we are completely freed from the influence of others. Here it is accepted to exclaim: "What has grown - that has grown!" And for the rest of my life, if not what, to complain about parents and school: I was not educated and taught. But in fact it is a convenient half-truth. At the age of twenty years, the nature is practically not affected by others - parents, husband, friends. Mom of an adult daughter, with all her desire, does not instill in her sociability. The husband will not make her sensitive, the girlfriend is proactive. Her temper can only be changed by herself under the influence of her own thoughts about herself and about life. We are given to make our character easy or heavy. The choice is ours.

To take off, you need to weigh less

There is such a moment in life when we are at a crossroads in front of an obstacle. What should I do to overcome it: to become lighter and to soar above it - or to become heavy and pierce a gap in it? To soar, you need to throw ballast. And this way is very painful. I have to give up a lot of habits that are nice to my heart: "I'm often late", "I drink only fruit tea", "I get up at ten in the morning." And what a bloody cloud of principles falls into the category of ballast: "I always tell the truth", "I defend justice", "Love is always right!". At the same time you throw away dear to heart the home traditions: "We always celebrated the New Year with the family" or "The big family is a big force". You are meticulously considering your inner monsters - for example, the desire to inspire fear to others and to enjoy it. And you think, whether this monster is hidden in a trunk to not frighten anybody, or whether to curtail his neck. The first is difficult, the second is almost impossible. Finally, you have thrown out all that is superfluous, ready to acquire new habits and perceive other people's principles, is able to look at life from different points of view, you do not frighten any more with your shortcomings and strangenesses. And, like an angel, you soar above the world and you see: you do not have to prove anything to the boss at this job - it's time to look for a new one, and there's nothing to be offended with a friend - it's time to forgive her for an accidental mistake. And here you are in the new office where you are highly valued, and a forgiven girl sobs on your shoulder and swears to you in eternal friendship. For ease you have to pay by the fact that you chew yourself and regularly rebuild. Sometimes you are terribly sorry for everything you broke up with. Even if it's a bad habit to smoke over a cup of coffee. And at times, after giving up too much, you feel exhausted and reach the state of full Zen, when it seems that nothing matters. And then it is necessary to quarrel with someone in order to become heavier. Your negative qualities, locked in a symbolic chest, in the corner of consciousness, periodically require withdrawal, and you have to hold the lid tight so that they do not break out, spend your strength and nerves on it, causing sadness and apathy at times. And then you have to release your "monster" to freedom, so as not to explode from stress. Therefore, one of the lightest women I've ever seen in my life, the universal favorite and the real fairy, sometimes allows herself flashes of such misanthropy that her ears burn in everyone's ears. True, she chooses to witness flash only those who are trusted and who are strong enough to withstand her fury and not be disappointed in it. Weak, timid and romantic from her never gets.

The biggest problem of a heavy man

He is very unlikely to anyone. And it is constantly attacked by other people. A light man flew over them and, if he did not want to do it on purpose, did not touch anyone, and the heavy man had to literally move through them. It is clear that people are indignant, resist, put their sticks in the wheel, intrigue. And a heavy person constantly fights with someone or is protected from someone. Sometimes a heavy man demonstrates to others the heaviness and strangeness of his character: "I am wicked and harsh" - out of peculiar pride: "I will not go for my personality" - and secretly expects his monsters to love with him. But we are foreign monsters, as a rule, unsympathetic. We have our own. And we avoid heavy people.

Woman as champagne - boils, but does not get warm

There is no unequivocal answer to what kind of person to be better. Probably, for the woman all the same it is required more ease. Personally, it seems to me that a heavy character is quite acceptable for a man and uncomfortable for a woman. Heavy temperament guy, zanudlivo-pessimistic-sticky - or gloomy-cynical-witty, like Dr. House, maybe at work is successful, and we respect, friends - appreciate. A woman will come to him, who will adjust to him, and he will be happy in his family life. And about the universal love - a man is not very interested in it. And in a woman there should be lightness, sparkling: came, inspired everyone, lit, lit up - and flew away. And her inspired subordinates with bright faces work all day. A light woman is ready to lead supporters, friends and relatives for her hand, dancing, persuading and cheering. Men like these women, their friends are drawn to them. And for us it's so important - to be loved ... We are so much in the majority. The severe nature of a woman is a serious obstacle to marriage. And no beauty compensates him, because men do not adapt to women. They tolerate us - to a certain point. And then everything, divorce or care. Naomi Campbell - the beauty of a panther - was still unnecessary to anyone, since her character is heavy and unbalanced: she threw the mobile phone into the servants, the paparazzi beat her with a bag, she tried to scratch out her eyes for the lost baggage. I have never been married, although I have already exchanged the fifth decade, and not because I do not want it - it's just that no one takes it. Unless the Moscow millionaire Doronin still combines with her - and settle it in a separate house to less often collide.