It often happens that a guy is just addicted to his mother. She is the model of a woman for him. It is her most delicious pies and borsch. She will give the best advice. Sometimes it seems that this woman is always with you.
This situation, most often, is observed if the boy grew up without a father.
Often, my mother, trying to do everything so that the boy does not feel defective, pisses him too much and ties him to him. In addition, because of the lack of male education, the boy does not always know how to be independent. He gets used to the fact that he always has food, clean and ironed clothes, money, and at the same time he does not need to do anything. Mom will always understand and forgive, so that he will not do it.
Over time, he and his beloved woman begins to perceive exactly the same. But you are not his mother. You want relief and bestowal, not infantilism and whims.
How to disaccustom a guy to run to his mom all the time? First, try to talk to him. Explain that you are very respectful of the woman who gave birth to him and is very nice to her, but still, he is too old to solve his problems with the help of Mom. Remind him that he, like a real man, often refuses even your help, because it's not a man's business to complain to women. And his mother is also a woman. So maybe you should not upset her with your problems. She after all the person any more young and if the guy so loves it or her, should protect from adversity. Explain to him that he forgets about the problem in a couple of hours, and my mother constantly thinks about it and gets frustrated.
In addition, you need to gently hint that you yourself are uncomfortable with this attitude. You, of course, do not yet have such a life experience as his mother, but you try to learn. Therefore, from the guy expect comparisons and praise, and not comparisons with the mother. It is also worth mentioning that all the problems that arise in the family need to be solved together. After all, it is, first of all, your personal life and only you yourself know all the details and nuances. Therefore, you should not seek help from friends, relatives, or mom. He's an adult and intelligent man, so he must be able to find a way out of the situation.
If a man does not have conversations and does not manage to wean him to run to his mother all the time, try to talk to his mother yourself. It happens that a woman herself is not happy with this situation. In this case, explain to her your point of view and ask for some help. Since the mother is for your beloved an unshakable authority, she can convince him to stop because of every little thing running to her house.
Worse, when her husband's mother is against the daughter-in-law and is happy that her son values her more than his wife. Here you can not wait for help. Therefore, it is necessary to act itself. You know what kind of situations a guy goes to his mother. So, try to avoid them. Do whatever she does, but a hundred times better. Cook his favorite dishes, perfectly iron the shirts, patronize and cherish. Of course, this is not a completely healthy relationship, but there are times when you can live either this way or not at all.
But not every woman can stand this long. Therefore, try to put the question squarely. Of course, you should not use the phrase "either I, or my mother. No adequate person will refuse to give birth to his mother. You yourself know this very well and understand. But about the fact that there was no withdrawal from the house after every petty quarrel or conflict, it's still worth talking about. Explain to your boyfriend that such a life does not suit you. You live together and, therefore, build a serious relationship. Therefore, the behavior of a small child irritates you and offends you. You have always seen in your favorite adult strong man, and now he has turned into a little boy. Therefore, you need to change something urgently. You are trying to do everything possible for him, so why should he not reconsider his attitude to life and relationships.
In this case, some men think about, because they really are afraid of losing their beloved woman. Simply, children's fears and complexes sit inside and do not let go until a stressful moment. If everything turns out that way, your beloved will leave your mother alone, and you will be able to build your relationships without a third superfluous, at least in this situation.
But it may be that the guy will collect things and leave. To Mom. You can, of course, return it and agree with this behavior. But, perhaps, it is worth all the same to think about. Decide for yourself, can you feel his mother's presence behind your back all your life? After all, it turns out that your boyfriend is a weak-willed and spineless rag. He does not know how to answer for his actions and solve problems. It is easier to just hide from behind all those who go to the fire, and into the water, for the sake of the beloved little son. Such people are used to the fact that everyone should protect and help them. But they themselves are not able to do anything like this for someone. Even for your beloved mother. Realize that this person can never become your stone wall. You just do not get on it relies. If there are problems that you can not solve without him, he will simply run away to his mother. And he will not care what happens there. The main thing is to protect yourself. Such people are very infantile and narcissistic. They are not able to make adult decisions, take responsibility, and in general, behave as an adult man.
Analyze his actions and attitude towards you, before you go and take him from under my mother's skirt. Perhaps it's worth just stopping and going your own way, apart from it. After all, every woman always dreams of being someone's lady, a muse, a princess, and not a nanny, a cook and a wet nurse. Why do you need an adult in the house? What will you do with it when your children appear, because such a man can be jealous of his own son or daughter, because now he does not pay enough attention.
So think carefully and decide for yourself what kind of man you really need. And then already go to take it back or take the remaining things.