What is the problem of modern friendship? Friendship is no longer a value for people. Many prefer to reduce excessively energy-consuming relations to formal: chat rooms, forums, social networks. And there: comments to photos and records, smileys, friendly winks and periodic popping up of interesting links. True friendship, fortunately, can not fit into such close oak frames.
What is the reason for this phenomenon? Of course, there is general employment and a furiously galloping rhythm of life. But also the shift in the significance of events and phenomena from real life to virtual. All the most interesting now is allegedly happening in the network, on news sites, in LJ and other social-boltologic forums. The stereotypes of such an internet life change the general behavior of a person, and now he is already braided with a web of friends in 229 threads. Here, then, lies another important difference between real and virtual friendship: in fact, virtual friendship eats the user's time as a rusty iron. Slowly sprawling with pseudo comments and other formal actions, virtual friendship disrupts his "employer", "riveting" him to the chair and monitor. This is empty communication, nothing giving a person. Another thing is friendship in real life. It is multifaceted and diverse, requires us and help and shared joy, sincerity and devotion. You can not turn off your friend until tomorrow, you will not "rasfrendish" so simply, for no reason.
Friendliness policy.
Or, in Russian, how to find friends (in our case in the real world). Friends in real life are necessary. This is not only our assistants, comforter and companions. Friendship helps us to express ourselves, gives us the opportunity to be genuinely altruistic, to realize the potential of humanity. Feeling of spiritual affinity, caring for the neighbor, disinterested sympathy for someone ennoble a person. No wonder, friendship was valued at all times and among all peoples.
But before you look for friends, answer yourself to one question: Do you really want this? Weigh all the pros and cons, because there will be no return way.
Step one.
Stop asserting yourself that the work and the struggle for survival eat up all your time and energy. This is not the case in most cases. You will understand self-deception when you simply observe yourself during the day. How much time do you spend on the Internet? Every day more and more, is not it?
Step two.
Imagine the image of a friend and compare it with yourself - can you yourself become someone good friend and faithful companion? If not, then start working on yourself, control your actions and actions, strive for development. This does not mean that until you achieve the ideal, you should not start a friendship. Just by making demands to others, think about how you can justify these requirements. Help someone selflessly, do a good deed simply so, hold someone's hand in a difficult moment, just be an attentive listener, give someone your free time. The result will be.
Of course, not all people will become your friends, someone will just be grateful for your help, someone can take advantage of you. But through this small sieve of strangers, at least one grain of kindness, sown by you, may be delayed. Remember, sometimes a strong impression is made by someone's kind, unselfish act. Such a person clearly appears strong and attractive in the eyes of others.
Step three.
Look around. Not necessarily a mysterious stranger who emerges from the fog on a lonely autumn evening will become a friend. We sometimes do not notice, limiting ourselves, that around us there are also many lonely, longing people who would be glad to share with someone the minutes of their lives. Another can become just a friend to whom you will take time for a heart-to-heart conversation or a cup of tea; an old friend, undeservedly forgotten in the vanity of affairs; neighbor on the porch, to which you will help repair the car or sit with the child. There are many ways and life very often throws us such crucial moments, the main thing is to take advantage of them.
Step Four.
However, if the result has already appeared, do not rush into the pool of friendship with your head. As Omar Khayyam said: "It is better to be alone than to be friends with anyone. "If a person is unpleasant to you, if you are embarrassed by his moral values, if he" wipes "your feet and frankly uses you, step back from him. In a society with such a person, you will always feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable, or you may even get into trouble.
Step five.
More optimism! Even if you are a sullen melancholic, try not to oppress your friend with universal sorrow. Take life not as a tragedy, find good moments and always keep them in your head. Sometimes we just need a kindly cheerful word, spoken in a difficult moment.
Step Six.
Finding in the world of real friends is another half of the matter. Do not forget about them, give them time, cherish them. Remember that they not only support you in difficulties, but also give you the opportunity to do good deeds and be better.