At once we will be defined, conversation will go about circumstances which really do not suit you. Playful-flirtatious "no", designed to prolong torment or add ardor, is the topic of a separate conversation.
So, the five rules are solid "NO".
1. Determine in advance what exactly you want.
Before you start something to do, think about what you need. To a bored fan at all disappeared from your horizon? To tedious Vasya from the neighboring department stopped sighing at your table, but at the same time continued to help in the implementation of your projects? To the enamored neighbor stopped putting on the rug in front of your door bouquets of flowers, because you are stumbling over them in the morning?
Depending on the desired outcome, state your failure properly. Keep in mind that men understand logical arguments better than emotions, so try to prepare them in advance.
2. Pronounce it!
Once you are firmly established in your decision - bring it to the opposite side. Orally, in writing, in the manner of rock art or in sign language. The main thing that the meaning of your message was very clear!
Olya, 35, consultant: "As soon as I did not try to let him know that I do not like him! No effect! He does not seem to understand! "Sighs sorrowfully. "Did you tell him about this in a word?" I ask. "N-e-em," Olya draws hesitantly, "but what do you want?"
Yes, dear ladies, sometimes you must! Clearly, specifically, the Russian language (unless, of course, he is not a foreigner) to voice your decision and clarify the situation. "Vasya, I'm sorry, but our relationship must remain friendly!", "Pyotr Semyonovich, I do not consider it permissible to start a romance at work!"
3. Stick to your decision.
If you reported yesterday that you did not want to continue the relationship in the same vein, and now, as usual, you jumped to Cole's neighbor for coffee with candy, he is unlikely to take your refusal properly. Keep this in mind and change your behavior in the right direction. Stop taking gifts if you have done this before. Do not flirt, and do not play the feelings of a man. Take all necessary measures to get you right.
4. Prepare for possible consequences.
You offered Vasya to remain friends, counting on further help from his side, and he took it, and spread to the bitchy Allochka from the accounting department? And the chief of the department, Pyotr Semyonovich, did not begin to raise your salary? Well, and this is possible. When you reach the desired goal, sometimes you have to sacrifice something. Try to assess the likely consequences in advance so that they do not become a surprise for you. If you think this price is acceptable, the better. If not - take it all the same. That is life!
5. And maybe all the same ...
Before finally burning bridges, giving "a turn from the gate" and stuff like that, think - is it all so terrible? Yes, Petya has a sad face, but at the same time he smiles wonderfully and knows how to take care. His niece gave him socks in a yellow cage, and he did not want to offend her. And you can choose ties for yourself ... Are the shortcomings in the light of the existing advantages so important? Or maybe it's fate at all?
Lily, 32 years old, translator: "I did not take Ilya as a guy at all. He went with us to the cinema, took our lady's company into the woods on the ear and barbecued and stoically tolerated conversations about pantyhose, underwear, critical days and boyfriends. Ilyushka-girlfriend, I called him until the day when he came to me with a bouquet of flowers. Wildly embarrassed, I mumbled something about "staying friends" and "I did not plan such a relationship" when I suddenly realized that he could leave, and I was absolutely not ready to lose it ... And instead of the word "No" I said " Let's try""
Ilya and Lily live together for eight years, they have a wonderful son, and they still look at each other with enamored eyes.
Therefore, when deciding, weigh all the pros and cons, and only then act! Good luck to you!