Many people ask themselves the question of how to get rid of mental trauma after a divorce. There are no universal councils and can not be, but there are some general patterns that you should know.
There is such a thing as adaptation to life after a divorce. Full adaptation takes two to four years. During this period it is not recommended to re-create a family, to make important decisions regarding personal life. The popular wisdom "wedge the wedge out" works in this case very rarely. After all, to begin with, you need to get rid of the mental trauma that inevitably occurs after any divorce. Exceptions can only be made by spontaneous marriages, which end in a few weeks or months after the wedding. If you have lived in marriage for several years, it is logical to assume that you will be out of stressful stress for quite some time. This period can be shortened by actively working with a psychologist on a problem or doing self-education in the field of psychology of family life. And yet we will be realists: many people are emerging from the crisis associated with divorce, independently.
Different psychologists and psychotherapists distinguish various stages of adaptation to life after a divorce, but they all converge in one: the most acute stage of the post-exclusion period occurs in the first 2-8 weeks. It is during this period that people can stop eating, communicating with friends, watching themselves. The first days after the divorce, many feel the deterioration of health, malaise, and sometimes people even start thinking about suicide. And this applies not only to women, but also to men.
Of course, this first, most acute phase of post-mortem stress deserves special attention. After all, it would be ridiculous not to cope with the problem and create with yourself or your destiny something irreparable. During this period, people feel that they have cut off an arm or a leg. This is a period of acute pain and violent emotions. A certain person who for many years was the closest relative, or maybe a friend, suddenly disappears from your life. And that field of application of energy and activity, which was earlier, remains unfilled.
This stage proceeds equally sharply as those who divorced on their own, and those who were forced to leave the family against their will.
There are several important principles that all people who are just divorcing or going to get divorced should know. These principles tell us how to get rid of mental trauma after a divorce.
First, avoid contacting your ex-spouse. Many in this period it seems that they made a terrible mistake, and they try after the divorce again to meet with the former. This is an erroneous move, because it only increases the pain from the gap. Some psychological or even geographical distance in the period after the divorce is a source of healing of the psyche and healing from emotional wounds.
Secondly, communication with friends helps with mental trauma. Sometimes for the troubles of family life we forget about ourselves. Divorce is not only a painful experience, it is also an occasion to take care of yourself. The occasion to remember old hobbies and hobbies, to restore relationships with old friends, to find new friends.
Third, try to monitor your body and physical condition. Do not run your appearance, do not lie for days on the couch. Go in for sports, go to the beauty salon. Physical stress is the best way to get rid of a trauma after a divorce.
And, finally, fourthly, do not try to suppress suffering. Pour out all the negative emotions through crying, swearing, talking about problems with friends and friends. And if there is emptiness around you, which also happens often, start a diary or look for new friends on blogs. The crushed emotions sooner or later will still get out, but while they are inside, they will continue their destructive work. So the more fully you speak out, the faster you will recover.
After the first months after the divorce, you will necessarily go to that stage of recovery, when you can less painfully talk about an ex-wife. Moreover, all stages of getting rid of mental trauma, which will follow in the remaining one and a half to two years, are associated with a feeling of emotional recovery. You will start to see new horizons, you will have new opportunities. And after a while you will understand that if there was no divorce, life would not lead you to the best. After all, divorce rarely happens in a well-to-do couples. And even strong and friendly, at first glance, families after disintegration are seen by former spouses not so happy. In any case, it is important to remember that divorce is a crisis. And any crisis is a transition period, when you make either a step forward or a step backward. And only on you depends on how happy your future will be after the divorce.