According to the statistical data of psychological research, the most appeals to specialists are due to insecurity. Such people have difficulties in communicating with others. They are inclined to long and hard to make decisions, and can suffer from the fact that their needs and desires remain unrealized.
Such people always have a depressed mood, often envy other people who are self-confident and always calm, and from this people with low self-esteem are even more desperate and get stuck in their own problems.
Causes, development of a complex of self-doubt
Psychologists say that all sources of uncertainty come from childhood, it is at that time that the perception of oneself as a person is born. If the childhood of the person was accompanied by failures, and adults all time accentuated on this attention, then, having matured, he will notice only his shortcomings, and his good qualities will be ignored. Even more, such an adult will not consider himself worthy of something better, others will seem to him more successful and worthy than he, and the result is that a person gets all the worst, failures and problems.
We do not need such a life, so we offer methods of getting rid of uncertainty. Begin to learn to love and appreciate yourself as a worthy person.
Ways to get rid of self-doubt
The first thing to do is stop blaming everyone and everything for being shy and insecure, and you do not need to remember your failures anymore. The past can not be recovered and corrected, but the present is entirely up to you, use every opportunity for a full life.
Further realize and accept that your cheerfulness and freedom is much more important than what other people can think of you: colleagues, neighbors, relatives and acquaintances. The main rule: by their actions and decisions not to inconvenience others and do no harm, then you can with a clear conscience allow yourself to behave as you want, not just someone you know.
Look for an excuse to praise yourself, in order not to wait for praise from other people and feel and appreciate yourself. It is recommended to make a list of your talents, what you are doing well and very well. It can be different skills, skills, knowledge, including those that you may not seem worthy of attention, for example, you can masterly skip curbs on a bicycle. Keep a diary if you need it so that each time you focus only on your own merits.
Stop comparing with other people yourself, and worries that these people are more successful than you. People who have achieved the success you are striving for, you must learn that in all circumstances you need to go to your goal, and not to seek to meet the expectations of others. Only your yesterday's and today's achievements are to be compared, and everything will be as you want, only when all the time you go only forward.
Change your reaction to troubles and failures, and rejoice at these moments, how to do something better, or treat it neutrally. Perhaps this may sound silly, and even it may seem stupid, it is likely that others will not understand this, but believe me, you will like the result. Over time, you will notice that failure has disappeared somewhere, and any business that you do, you are good at it.
People with good self-esteem are not so confident in themselves that everything is smooth and unconstrained, but because they do not fixate themselves on failures and troubles and go to their goal firmly, without turning off the hard way.
For today there is a huge choice of trainings and exercises in order to develop self-reliance. To attend such trainings and courses not everyone can, but it periodically needs to be done. Bring such training to your plan, but for now, do your own behavior.
Tips on how to gain self-confidence
There are simple situations that can help you gain confidence, however such situations should be created independently, and people with low self-esteem like situations avoid.
Below are some examples. You can try one thing, but still it is recommended that you do everything that you read below.
You can start with stores, choose, for example, stores with high prices for butovo equipment and furniture. In this store, look at the products that you like, but do not pay attention to the cost of the goods, ask for help from the sellers, let them tell you in detail about the equipment you have chosen. Then, with courtesy, thank you, and leave the store for your business, without making a purchase.
The next step is going to another store, for example with expensive clothes, consider carefully those models that you liked. Then try on as many as you want, and what you want. If you do not need the services of a seller, then you can politely refuse them, explaining this by saying that you just want to try on what is in their range, and you have every right to it. Then do the same as in the first case, not caring that your behavior can cause not very positive reaction of sellers.
Such situations can be invented a lot:
In any store, you can go to the cashier and ask him to change the money without giving an explanation.
About this you can ask on the street just a stranger. Explain this by the fact that you need to pay the bill on your mobile phone.
Then simulate the situation more difficult: you can ask a stranger from the street to lend you money, say that you have lost or forgotten somewhere a wallet, and you need a ticket for a subway or bus.
Another option - go to a store or a cafe and ask to be allowed to call from your local phone. If the waiter will ask to place an order, then you politely refuse, say that you just want to make a call and repeat your request.
If you are in a crowded bus or a subway car, you can ask someone to give way to you without going into explanations. If you are asked questions, the man can answer that his head is spinning with stuffiness, but a woman can simply ask a man to give way.
The most difficult task for most people is to come to a cafe, restaurant or just on the street to a person of the opposite sex who is attractive, with a desire to get acquainted, this fear affects both men and women. If you try to do, despite your strong fears, then the reward will not make you have to wait. Invite a stranger or a stranger to go to the theater, to the cinema or to a concert.
Situations are different, an important task is to overcome your fear and just take these steps, and then eventually you will begin to feel that the world is changing around you, and you will really feel more confident and comfortable. Naturally, you can not get away from failures, but do not focus your attention on them, but pay a better look at your progress, be sure to praise yourself, even if you took a small step.
It is important to remember that when talking with another person you should speak confidently, loudly and clearly, and do not shout at all.
Try to maintain eye contact, but you do not need to stare at a person all the time, this can be regarded as an interference with your partner.
Behave freely, but do not go too far, express your wishes, feelings and demands directly, and when you say "I do not want to," do not be afraid to seem selfish.
When you ask for something, you should not apologize for worrying, but it is better to thank a person for the service, at least saying "thank you".
Whatever the situation, it is not recommended to show aggression towards the interlocutor, you should not try to humiliate or offend him, this shows your insecurity and weakness.
Respect yourself and other people, and in this case, communication with others will be more productive.
Develop the habit of acting decisively in different situations, do not look at others and do not think about what they can think of or say about you, just by steady confident steps go to your goal. When you get what you were eagerly striving for, your self-esteem automatically jumps one order higher, and confidence will accompany you everywhere.