How would you react if you found out that colleagues spread unpleasant gossip about you at work? Would you like to put the abuser in the place? Will you quit? "Do not take harsh steps," the psychologists advise, "and stay calm." First you need to understand what to expect from gossip - good (do not be surprised, gossip sometimes contributes to our career growth) or harm. And proceed from this act.
ON THE USE OF HEARINGS
According to polls, 79% of people consider gossip as an exceptionally harmful invention of mankind. Say, slanderers sometimes come up with something that undermines personal authority seriously and for a long time. However, gossip can sometimes do you a good service. Most often the object for all gossip are various kinds of celebrities: actors, singers, politicians and other public people. Many of them refer to gossip and rumors calmly, realizing that any gossip is an excellent advertisement that helps to warm interest to one's personality. Therefore, very often representatives of show business "accidentally" drop phrases about the upcoming marriage, divorce, pregnancy, buying a house, etc. Or even specially come up with "legends", launching them into the media. The logic is simple: people will discuss the details of the personal life of the singer or actor, and then they will go and buy tickets for his concert (play) to see firsthand the subject of their discussions. So it turns out that popularity is largely fueled by rumors, rumors help to increase authority.
However, gossip is not only beneficial to the stars. Studies show that 65% of people do not object and even contribute to spreading rumors about them at work to some extent. Why are they doing that?
- As a result of experiments conducted by psychologists, it was possible to establish that the person about whom the mass of rumors "circulates" is faster in the sight of the authorities than the quiet-co-worker whom no colleague even remembers. And here everything depends on the "slandered". If he shows himself on the good side, the prize or even promotion is guaranteed to him.
- Another option to raise the rating with the help of gossip is to go for a little trick, "letting it out" in a private conversation with a colleague suffering from incontinence (and better if this person is simultaneously close to the boss), that your name is in a competing firm and offer a higher salary.
- However, caution does not hurt: such a trick does not always work - you need to be absolutely sure that the information reaches the boss and that he does not want to leave you even before the "competitors" invite you to work.
- It is gossip often helps beginners to adapt to the team. The charter is endlessly discussing internal problems during "smoke breaks," they are happy to undertake "enlighten" the newcomer. However, in this situation the recruit should be very cautious. Yes, if you are told information that, in theory, should not be disclosed, you are given credence. But what does this trust have to pay? Maybe one of the "groupings" existing in the team enlists you to use for your own purposes? Either you "check for lice": are you dragged into gossip or are you able to stand up? Psychologists recommend showing restraint: listen to what they say to you, but after that try to translate the conversation into another topic.
- Any gossip is information for consideration. And any information is valuable. From official gossip you can find out what the unspoken rules of the game in the team, what they expect from you, and what behavior is prohibited, who enjoys authority, and who is an outsider, etc.
ALL ON ONE
However, more often gossip is still not good, but harm, moreover, considerable. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to achieve an increase in credibility at work after gossip. There are many cases where gossip has spoiled the reputation of a person for a long time and seriously. Therefore, if you understand that your personality at work causes the most incredible rumors, do not relax, keeping in mind, in case of a "plan-interception" in your head.
- Suppose you learned that one of your colleagues is spreading negative information about you (perhaps even false). Think: how great is the authority of the gossip? Is he alone against you or has allies? What are the risks of spreading rumors? It is possible that this person does not care about you and that you accidentally fell under the "fire". In this case, try to continue to be less frank with both the gossiper himself and his "close associates."
- Feeling that one of the members of the collective "grinds at you a tooth" (but you understand that this is personal dislike, and only), you can and do not clarify the relationship with him tet-a-tet, if you dislike the proceedings. It is enough to become more attentive to your duties, to work so that you have nothing to blame. Maybe you relaxed a little, but the gossip just wants to use the situation to your advantage? So do not give him any chance!
- Recently, in our country more often we have to face a phenomenon very common in the West - by mobbing (conscious survival from the collective of one of the employees). And the main weapon in the struggle of all against one is gossip. Realizing that you were caught in the crossfire of several members of the collective, think carefully: are you ready to fight or better to look for another job? If you decide to fight for your place until the end, try to figure out who is in charge of the "military actions". With the instigator of "disorders" psychologists are advised to talk directly, finding out that he does not like it. If the conversation heart-to-heart did not help, it is quite permissible to apply for support to the boss, having previously drawn up a list of "sabotage" against you. Do not worry, this is not a mean and not cruel method of fighting rumors, but quite adequate. In one of the cities of Colombia, for example, for the dissolution of rumors you can roar in jail for as long as four years! The mayor of the city decided that this is a fair punishment for those who knowingly defame the honor and dignity of Colombian citizens.
SPLITTER: VEZUCHNIK OR LEAVE
What can you say about those who did not fall victim to rumors, and he regularly composes them? Probably, he is satisfied with his position, because in many collectives "rumor controller" enjoys the reputation of an explicit or informal leader. It can easily enhance the credibility of any of the employees, as well as reduce it to nothing. Talent to extract the necessary information is appreciated by many. The gossiper is always aware of whether wages will be paid on time, whether there is a reduction in staffing in the near future, whether the boss is going to arrange "spacing" at tomorrow's meeting ... People are constantly asking him for advice or asking him to "enlighten" a variety of people, and he flatters. And the bosses, as a rule, look at the "chief gossip" favorably, because he informs that one of the employees wants to resign or go to the hospital, thus preventing numerous work and emergency situations. But, most likely, "extract" the information of the gossip is prompted not by simple curiosity, but by serious psychological problems. So, according to the American professor of psychology R. Rosneau, people who are not confident in themselves, who need regular confirmation of their own importance, the correctness of the actions they perform, most often come up with gossip. Sometimes they assert themselves at the expense of others, minimizing the abilities of others and exaggerating their own. So they manage to improve their credibility at work through gossip. For this, gossip, as you understand, is an ideal tool. The most vicious gossips "are found", according to researchers, among doctors, teachers, psychologists, sociologists, advertising specialists and journalists. However, the fate of gossipers will not be envied: despite the fact that they are always surrounded by people, they rarely enjoy their sincere love and respect. They have no friends and in the difficult period they have no place to wait for help.