According to the research, the fair sex can lie about fifty times a day, presented a stronger sex - up to seventy! But recognizing lies is not so difficult. The main thing is to open your eyes! If your interlocutor "bathes you in lies and deceit", watch what he says, as well as his facial expressions and gestures.
So, you have a first sight and he called you to a cozy restaurant. Everything is just fine: you bathe in the compliments of your companion and listen carefully to how he, seemingly quite unintentionally, exposes himself in the best tones: he has an excellent job, he is the soul of the company, loves children and animals ... It sounds all fairy-tale beautiful to be true. It is likely that so it is, in fact: the psychologist Wade Rowatt found that 90% preferred to lie on the first date, and in the first 10 minutes on average they cheat twice. Some of the deceivers do all this for the benefit of their counterparts. So, we specialize and flattery, women. Men, on the other hand, are the liars of selfish motives. But the main purpose of deception on both sides is to produce an impression on the partner.
Silent Traitors
Only 35% of our communication happens through words. All other components - gestures, posture, facial expressions and all of them we are not able to deliberately manage. All lies, as a rule, are accompanied by certain signs, which are involuntarily fed by the body and which, after a little training, can be read. But in the beginning it is necessary to learn three irreplaceable simple recipes.
General test . We carefully follow the behavior of a man. Does he sit quietly or change his position from time to time? He needs to ask three simple questions: where he loves to be on vacation, what music he prefers to listen to. And after this should be followed by a question-trap: "Surely, it is very difficult to be the boss? How do you spend your working day? "In case his behavior changed, then he began to get nervous and about his work he lied!
Leading questions . It is necessary to ask such questions, on the basis of which, an honest gentleman could not see a dirty trick, and a deceiver would feel himself to be a foul. For example: "I need your advice. My friend with the girl has a serious relationship, but despite this, he does not stop to meet someone with her back. How can I continue to communicate with them? "The sincere elect will give a sensible recommendation, and the dishonest will feel caught" on the hot "and sharply change his behavior: he starts to get nervous, embarrassingly joking.
Identification of lies . During the conversation, you need to say that you immediately recognize the lie. If he feels the danger of becoming exposed, then in the moment of the next "hanging on the ears of noodles" he will noticeably be nervous: blink, tinker with some detail of clothes, "erect walls" (place the objects on the table between the interiors).
Pile of lies
As a rule, people often talk, but they quickly forget about it. For honest stories, in most cases, frauds are concealed - using the following techniques, one can define a fiction:
Specification of details . The deceiver embellishes history, forgetting to mention the details. For example, your gentleman allegedly met with a friend in a cafe, but you suspect that he was there with his new employee. In case you ask a question of the plan: "Your new secretary was with you?" - you will not achieve the truth. It is necessary to get into a forced conversation and ask the man in a matter of where they were sitting, what they were wearing and what their friend was wearing. If he needs to come up with these details, he will give himself out: he will ponder over the answer for a long time. More details are more convincing that he is sincere.
Breach of chronology . If your gentleman is still seen as a secretarian, he will present to you in a platter the history unfolded on the shelves. You will begin to be interested in details, he will try to stick to this sequence. Specifying the details, it must be made to be nervous and the symptoms of lies become obvious. If he did see each other with a friend, at any moment of the story, a phrase can sound: "We have not smoked with a friend since his cigarettes were bathed in wine ... ".
Bright emotions . The liar narrates a pre-prepared story, forgetting to show feelings. The speaker of the truth remembers not only the facts, but also the emotions that were experienced at that moment.
Significant gaps . Explanations on the type: "Strange, but I do not remember", "I do not know", most likely, they speak about honesty. A fictitious story is lined up consistently, so it does not contain any gaps in memories.
Checking the voice . About 70% of fraudsters speak in elevated tones, especially women and children.
Fatal reservation
No one will argue that it's better when the cheater spends himself. But if it is not possible to catch a word, below are written meaningful phrases:
"Of course not!" - unnaturally emphasizes reliability.
Repetition of questions, evasive answers: "Perhaps", "Mmm" and "Eh," laughter, sighs and everything that does not correspond to his manner of communication.
Denials with details and detached phrases: "With this woman I had nothing" instead of "sVika".
Answers that inspire a sense of guilt: "You as always. How much you can already be jealous ... ".
Exposing facial expressions
7 emotions - sadness, fear, joy, disgust, anger, charity and surprise - each person expresses with the help of the same mimic manifestations. They are used unconsciously, tk. are congenital, so, on them it is possible to reveal a deception. The main traitor is microexpression, facial expression, which is not controlled and which becomes apparent one fraction of a second earlier than the expression. Ask, looking in the eyes of what you care about and pay attention to how fleeting horror is replaced by a smile, and if it still turns out to be "curve", remember that the asymmetry indicates that the person is lying. And yet, watch your eyes: the chaotic running of a glance at the moment of conversation or the answer given to a question is the first sign of deception.
Basic method
Paula Mayer, an American psychologist, gives several tips on recognizing lies:
Determine the nature . Initially, it is necessary to ask completely innocuous questions and at the same time to study laughter, behavior, gestures, facial expressions and the interlocutor's reaction. The values have only tangible modifications in ordinary behavior.
Gather information . If you are sure that a man is hiding something, ask him questions that can not be limited to the usual "yes" or "no." Instead of the phrase "Do you still have feelings for the former?" Better ask "What caused your separation?".
Use intuition. Always trust the inner voice!
Bring it to the end . If you manage to drive a liar into a corner, it does not exclude the fact that he stops lying. Throw the phrase: "I will understand every man who meets someone on the side, if his woman does not have feelings!" So you will be able to gain recognition more quickly than if you demand it "Confess!". According to Paula Meyer: "Deceivers want to tell the truth - lies bring constant stress! The main thing is to give a liar a chance! ".