Every person who lives in society has to learn to socialize, coexist with each other. But very often it happens that this coexistence turns into a dependence: moral or material. This situation is difficult to call good, because everyone, first of all, should remain a person. Therefore, it is necessary to know how to learn not to depend on other people.
Material dependence
This form of dependence is imposed on us from the very beginning. Due to the fact that up to a certain age the child acquires everything to a child, he gets used to this state of affairs, as a result, sometimes it can be difficult for him to learn to live independently and rely only on himself. Of course, there are also the people who have had to face hardship since childhood, so they know the old days that they need to rely only on themselves. But many of those who grew up in well-to-do families face a problem of material dependence at a certain age.
The most common way to learn how to be financially independent is for those who have been very much taken care of by their parents. Wishing his child good, knowing that he will have to work all his life, they did not give to go to work, he studies, often encouraged, allowed his daughter or son to simply ask for pocket money. As a result, such a person grows up, continues to count that mom and dad should keep it. In fact, such a category of people is not always aware of their dependence, because they are very comfortable. But if they realize, they do not quite understand how to cope with this, because they do not want to give up the usual way of life. In fact, the situation can be sorted out much easier than it seems. For example, it's not a secret for anyone that for parents we remain small all our lives. But the more we are independent, especially the financial one, the easier it is to put up with our growing up and let them make their own decisions. Avot when mom and dad keep giving money, they also do not stop controlling a person, as if he is still a teenager. Therefore, wanting to learn to be financially independent, you first need to analyze your relationship with your parents. They after all, most likely, constantly call, stitvatki and conditions. Plus, if the material dependence does not allow to live separately, the opportunity of comfortable communication with friends and the opposite sex is lost. Aeto is very important for any young man.
It is also necessary to remember your social status. If in adolescence it is considered normal to live for a parent account, then becoming older, others stop respecting these freeloaders, on the contrary, they despise them. Even if the friends do not say this in person, the evil eye fully discusses the material dependence of their friend of the offspring and is clearly not delighted with this. Therefore, if you do not want to be the eyes of your friends as a child and a freeloader, you should immediately review your financial relationship with your parents.
Material dependence can arise between a man and a woman. It often happens that a girl lives out of the way of her young man. On the one hand, this seems to be not worth anything, because a man is considered an earner, but on the other hand, material dependence often leads to complete dependence on everything. Early or late this lady will hear: "I provide you, so you must do what I said." If you do not want to be a bird trapped in a gilded cage, learn not to be afraid of trying to achieve something yourself. Yes, sometimes it is really difficult, but believe me, the sense of joy of the self-satisfaction that you get, earning yourself and doing what you love, will cover all that negative that can be at the beginning when the girl is just starting her independent financial way. In fact, in order not to depend on people financially, you need to respect yourself and believe in yourself. Each person is something talented and clever, just do not be afraid to reveal it in yourself and to know that what you earn independently will help you to "get on your feet" and not be afraid for tomorrow. But the rich life at someone else's expense can change at any time, and then it will be much more difficult for you to "get out of the hole".
Moral dependence
With moral dependence, it is sometimes more difficult to fight than with material dependence. The fact is that sincere and cordial attachments are often much stronger than financial ones. Many girls are so that they understand that they can not live without a person. It can be a favorite guy, less often a friend, a brother or another close person with whom she is maximally comfortable. In the fact that we are attached to really native people there is nothing strange. But when this attachment becomes an addiction - it's time to beat the alarm. It is impossible that your personal life and your mood depended on the attitudes and choice of a loved one. In order to learn not to depend on other people, you must first learn how to live your life. You must have your interests, your desires, your hobbies and your friends. That is, something that will not change, even if a loved one disappears from your life.
It is also necessary to remember that beginning to depend on someone, we push this person away from ourselves. It may sound a bit paradoxical, but it's the same. The more we depend on people, the more we want to do for them and the more we start controlling them. This translates into the fact that initially normal relations turn into paranoid slavery: the dependent person is ready to do anything to keep the person next to him. In the end, this leads either to the fact that someone begins to use a person dependent on him. Or else the relations come to naught, because the one on whom they depend, begins to be annoyed, try to limit their personal space, and so on.
Therefore, if you want your relationships to be normal, and love or affection be mutual, learn to share the feeling of love and a sense of dependence. When a person becomes addicted to someone, he ceases to be full, begins to think other people's thoughts and argue with those categories that he accidentally or specifically imposed. Vitoga, it simply ceases to be interesting, because it loses its individuality. Therefore, if you want to learn to be independent of other people, often remind yourself that otherwise you will simply lose them. Also, you must always remember that other people need individualities, and not their copies in your face. Nobody will ever be glad to find next to him his clone, who looks with dog eyes, is ready to do everything and yet wants to remain close to him always not letting go for a second. Remember that people need to give a personal space, after all, they will appreciate you more, because they understand that you are a person who has his life and if your ways are dispersed, you will be able to live on, and you will not suffer until the end of your days. Dependence on the person is akin narcotic - you constantly need a dose. Therefore, by communicating with someone, falling in love with someone, in order not to become dependent, remember that your personality, your desires and your life depends only on you, not on someone another.