Particular reasons for parting can be a million, global - only three. Those relationships for which everything was started, simply outlived themselves: emotionally, sexually, personally, cause-and-effect. You began to meet, because he fell in love with your independence, and you - in his tenderness.
Three years later it was discovered that you would have gone out of work with pleasure, changed the business suit for a cozy homemade dress, and instead of weekly reports, prepared salmon in batter. But with a gentle man you can not stay at home - he would sit there himself, and lie down, and even cooked salmon. What you chose for each other, was showered with sand through your fingers and continue on - there is no need. Another option - one deeply wounded a partner, and he can not forgive it. Classically it looks like "he changed, I kicked him out, I can not forgive him and I do not want to, the relationship is over. Option, when she changed, less classic, but also painful. In any case, to continue living in an atmosphere of total distrust and constant tension is unbearable. The third option - the circumstances are formed against your relationship. For example, he has long and successfully worked in Moscow, and you are offered a job in Berlin - and one that you can not refuse! Impossible, unbearable, no reason ... now. Because the only reason to seriously use the word "never" is in the phrase "never renounce".
After a pause
What happens after parting? Each of you lives his life: meets new people, starts other relationships, assimilates in new conditions and circumstances ... You can be absolutely happy and happy, as well as he, somewhere there, far away. Until enough time passes (a year, two, five ...), and circumstances will not change, and most importantly - you will not change. And, such changed, - do not meet. And when you meet, it turns out that the chemistry between you is still the same, the attraction is not gone anywhere; so much time has passed that the pain and grievances against each other were forgotten; circumstances changed again, but this time exclusively in your favor; you are both mature enough and have gained experience to understand the causes of the problems then and not to repeat them now. In the end, as it was said in one old saying: life is long. And what is happening now, is only now, and then we'll see!
Step 1: Take a break
First of all, it is necessary to understand the reasons why you broke up. If this is not done, then with any attempt to restore communication you will face the same problems, only on a large scale. Take as a fact that your relationship - at least in this form and at this stage - is over. And get involved in self-recovery! Use the "time-I" to return to classes and hobbies that were abandoned for the sake of a loved one. Concentrate on health: eat, sleep, walk - and start, at last, go to the gym regularly!
Step 2: understand why you broke up
Use the "time-I" in order to understand the problem that destroyed your relationship. Just getting to the heart of it, you can build a healthy relationship in the future. Thinking about it, do not forget to evaluate your own actions throughout history: did you have problems with trust and honesty, with self-esteem of each of you and think how much they could influence the gap. Understand what you and he want, and honestly admit how much your desires coincide.
Step 3: Restore the relationship
After the break must pass at least two months. And no matter how hard it was, no contacts! Concentrate on steps 1 and 2: then time will pass very quickly. And two months later (if you did not start a new relationship), you can, for example, send a former letter or CMC or even call yourself and calmly ask how things are. During the conversation, find the opportunity and offer somehow to drink coffee. When you finally meet ... remember step 2 and act!