Love does not last forever. After a year, three, eight years, we find that the feelings have subsided, the passion has gone, and the joint life has become overgrown with everyday life and has ceased to please fresh emotions. How to return feelings to a loved one with whom we once decided to tie our destiny? And is this possible in principle? "Probably!" Psychologists are sure. Moreover, each new round of feelings is deeper and more beautiful than the previous one.
Moments of alienation will not pass a single pair. We think: perhaps, who is next to us, just an accidental person? We feel disappointed and meaningless relationships, the actions of her husband are annoying, and his habits seem ridiculous. Such feelings sooner or later appear in each pair, and they arise not one, not even two times for a joint life. And, unfortunately, and maybe, and fortunately, parting in this situation will not help. You just need to understand and accept the fact that a depressed mood will pass. It is a natural and normal stage of development.
Sympathy and indifference, love and irritation fill any relationship - family, friendly, workers. Psychologists suggest that this is a law of nature. Love is a living organism, which, from day to day, is filled with new forces, it falls. But every following love of a permanent partner brings us much stronger feelings. Believe me, one day you will suddenly find that you are well and cozy with your spouse. And he is for you - a whole universe, the best, closest and beloved person. But to understand the patterns of relationships does not mean to lay hands off. Why wait until your marriage is rebuilt on its own, if you can take everything in your own hands? Take the trouble, since by returning feelings to your loved one, you can strengthen the family. Believe in yourself and your partner - take the first step.
The first thing to do is to analyze what does not suit you in the family routine. Think, what exactly strains you? Maybe you are tired of eating dinner at the same time every day with the invariable potatoes as a side dish, having sex on the same bed or hearing in the mornings the crown greeting of her husband "Weld a coffee, baby"? Over time, we accumulate a whole list of small rituals, which we perform on the machine. Often they prevent you from seeing in a new way your life and your partner. If the problem really rests on these small details, tell them about your spouse and change them together. Do a permutation, go to dinner in a cafe, replace the TV with board games. In a word, shake off the habits that prevent you from seeing your feelings.
Often we complain that "something is missing" for us, but we are lazy to sit down and understand what it is. Feel free to honestly confess to your husband that you miss romantic dates under the moon, long kisses before bed and small but expensive gifts to the heart. After all, from what little things surround us in everyday life, our feelings for the beloved person also largely depend.
By the way, in the fading of emotions, habits are not always to blame. Maybe you do not have enough novelty? For example, I was very worried about sex, which became frankly insipid. I thought it was the end and the passion can not return. I decided that I would make one attempt to regain the previous heat, and if I do not succeed, then it's time to part. And I invited my husband to "induce" a hotel room ... We used to never do this before. I will not dissemble, one trip to the hotel did not turn our marriage into a fairy tale. But it served as an impetus to correcting the accumulated errors that we needed so much. No matter how many years you live together, be sure to continue to learn new things - new dishes, poses, sports and entertainment. In the end, change your hair and buy new furniture. A regular portion of novelty helps a lot to keep the emotions sharp and not to become discouraged. And never stop on what has been achieved. After all, your life goes on, and there are so many interesting things around!
Sometimes, we move away from each other, because we have nothing to do with anything but home. We have different professions, hobbies and friends with my husbands. If you can not find common interests, then you need to create them. At least that's what psychologists advise. You can join two people in a dance studio or a swimming pool, buy a camera and together learn to take professional pictures, read the same books and discuss the development of the plot and the position of the author. It does not matter which occupation you choose, if only it interests you both. In the end, once you have it already happened.
If you are venturesome, try to create a common problem for yourself or set an elusive goal. It is not without reason that they say that joint difficulties bring together. This can be, for example, a trip to Thailand. Write down what you will have to do to achieve this goal. For example, to manage to earn a lot of money, get a passport, get a visa at the embassy, buy bathing suits and a video camera, collect a suitcase and make a list of desired excursions. Together, agree on the sequence of steps and determine the responsibilities of the parties. You will see: having reached the end and having overcome all obstacles, you will not only once again become close with your beloved person, but also will experience pride in your pair! Returning feelings to your loved one, you will regain your wings and will be able to enjoy life to the fullest.
In fact, it is easiest to accept and accept the fact that your husband no longer evokes the same feelings and emotions that you have during the honeymoon. Still would! Now you have such a weighty reason for suffering. A lost love can be remembered at every opportunity, cultivating pity for itself. However, this is not constructive and destructive. First of all, you need to realize the fact that a fiery passion can not be eternal. And this is good! All my life I can not sleep and not eat because of love. As it is banal, but the intensity of passions is replaced by much calmer and equal feelings. In addition, try to answer yourself to a single question: can you imagine your life without your husband? Really! In fact to complain to girl-friends - one, and to appear lonely actually is absolutely another matter. And because if your answer is "NO" - then feelings are still alive. Try to remember what exactly your spouse liked you from the very beginning. Has he really changed so much? Is there really nothing left of that person? Try to remember your feelings. Literally imagine them emotionally and try to look at the husband by those - lovers - with the eyes.