Cope with the loss and move on
We all need a small period of "grief". After all, no matter how long we stayed with this or that person, we invested in it - we invested our forces, time, tried to do something for it. And suddenly all this was gone.
We need time to put up with the loss. After all, at that very moment of parting and even a little after it, we do not think how to start a new relationship. On the contrary, we are so absorbed in outgoing relationships that we think only of them. And even more - remember only good things!
Communication will fill the void
At first, of course, there will be tears and memories of pleasant romantic moments. Look closely at the couple "with experience" - the romance in their relationship, of course, is present, but not to the extent that you now appear in your relationship. Pleasant trifles and surprises, tenderness and adoration - all this, of course, is and will be in every pair. But because they are "trifles", which are only a small part of something more.
- Relations are joint interests.
Therefore, it is easy and easy to cope with the feeling that "no one will be better than this person in life", it is communication that helps. This does not mean that you will walk through the streets with a "hungry" look of a lonely girl. It is not necessary to start new serious relationships (especially immediately after parting), but after a short period of time "with itself", it is time to go out to people.
Communicate, play, enjoy society. And so that there are no bad thoughts about "here, I'm now again in charge of the relationship with the wrong person," do not stay with one person tete-a-tete. Find a company that suits you in terms of level of education, interests, hobbies. Get a new hobby or go to the courses. If you are keen on photography or design, then for sure you will be forced to go out, go to exhibitions and presentations, visit galleries or just look for interesting places for inspiration.
After a short time you can even change the scope of activities. Acquired skills in any field will give you the opportunity to feel needed, and even (with certain successes in it) - held. A self-sufficient person does not make sense to furiously want a relationship in return for the old.
"Hook", for which we are clinging former
It's good when the relationship ends badly. It sounds somewhat absurd, but try to understand: it is better not to remain "friends" at parting. After all, after you want to return some important points in your common life. Friends? Well, they will understand why you do not go to bowling or swimming with them anymore. But relations with the "former" can not be. Even if you work in one area, sooner or later in a joint venture (or, God forbid, business), problems will begin.
How often after the words "let's stay friends" something else hides! We want us not to be thrown abruptly, the former want to be released gradually ... But even if friendly, friendly relations are established, they will certainly be "bitter" or something. With a taste of that unique bitterness, which can only be liked by notorious masochists (and masochists).
In addition, it is likely that some time after the parting you will find an inner readiness for a new relationship, and you will be tormented by the question of how to start them without destroying the friendship that has been formed. Or vice versa, your ex can start a new relationship, and you will end up where you should be - on second or even third roles.
Bug fixes
Before you think about relationships after parting, it's useful to analyze how you brought your previous relationships to the last stage. It's not just about him, the "scab and the reptile," but even if the man really is - in you, who chose the scab and the reptile. If you can not cope with a deep analysis of the causes and effects yourself - find a good, but not too close friend or friend. Girls adore to be shabby "about her, about the girl", and you will get a happy listener and an independent expert.
If such a friend is not present and is not expected - do not skimp on the advice of a psychologist or psychotherapist. These people, on the one hand, are obliged not to express their personal opinions, but on the other hand, they are forced not only to listen to the client due to their duties, but also to gently, gradually push him to certain thoughts and conclusions about himself. So you will get a double benefit - you will have an opinion about yourself, the most comfortable for you, and at the same time - the point for the start. In addition, when working with a professional you can adjust those features of relationships that are inherently destructive for them. But for you they are familiar, they are part of your life, and only an outsider who has different experience of relationships and examples can push you to the idea that you can build relationships in another way.
Success and success
Luck is to find the right person, even after a long, difficult relationship and a difficult parting. And success is to determine what you need right now. Do you need someone who would not interfere with a career in the company? Do you need a caring family man who loves children? Finding exactly this, "getting into the goal" is already a success.
I wish you success!
Cope with the loss and move on
We all need a small period of "grief". After all, no matter how long we stayed with this or that person, we invested in it - we invested our forces, time, tried to do something for it. And suddenly all this was gone.
We need time to put up with the loss. After all, at that very moment of parting and even a little after it, we do not think how to start a new relationship. On the contrary, we are so absorbed in outgoing relationships that we think only of them. And even more - remember only good things!
Communication will fill the void
At first, of course, there will be tears and memories of pleasant romantic moments. Look closely at the couple "with experience" - the romance in their relationship, of course, is present, but not to the extent that you now appear in your relationship. Pleasant trifles and surprises, tenderness and adoration - all this, of course, is and will be in every pair. But because they are "trifles", which are only a small part of something more.
Relations are joint interests.
Therefore, it is easy and easy to cope with the feeling that "no one will be better than this person in life", it is communication that helps. This does not mean that you will walk through the streets with a "hungry" look of a lonely girl. It is not necessary to start new serious relationships (especially immediately after parting), but after a short period of time "with itself", it is time to go out to people.
Communicate, play, enjoy society. And so that there are no bad thoughts about "here, I'm now again in charge of the relationship with the wrong person," do not stay with one person tete-a-tete. Find a company that suits you in terms of level of education, interests, hobbies. Get a new hobby or go to the courses. If you are keen on photography or design, then for sure you will be forced to go out, go to exhibitions and presentations, visit galleries or just look for interesting places for inspiration.
After a short time you can even change the scope of activities. Acquired skills in any field will give you the opportunity to feel needed, and even (with certain successes in it) - held. A self-sufficient person does not make sense to furiously want a relationship in return for the old.
"Hook", for which we are clinging former
It's good when the relationship ends badly. It sounds somewhat absurd, but try to understand: it is better not to remain "friends" at parting. After all, after you want to return some important points in your common life. Friends? Well, they will understand why you do not go to bowling or swimming with them anymore. But relations with the "former" can not be. Even if you work in one area, sooner or later in a joint venture (or, God forbid, business), problems will begin.
How often after the words "let's stay friends" something else hides! We want us not to be thrown abruptly, the former want to be released gradually ... But even if friendly, friendly relations are established, they will certainly be "bitter" or something. With a taste of that unique bitterness, which can only be liked by notorious masochists (and masochists).
In addition, it is likely that some time after the parting you will find an inner readiness for a new relationship, and you will be tormented by the question of how to start them without destroying the friendship that has been formed. Or vice versa, your ex can start a new relationship, and you will end up where you should be - on second or even third roles.
Bug fixes
Before you think about relationships after parting, it's useful to analyze how you brought your previous relationships to the last stage. It's not just about him, the "scab and the reptile," but even if the man really is - in you, who chose the scab and the reptile. If you can not cope with a deep analysis of the causes and effects yourself - find a good, but not too close friend or friend. Girls adore to be shabby "about her, about the girl", and you will get a happy listener and an independent expert.
If such a friend is not present and is not expected - do not skimp on the advice of a psychologist or psychotherapist. These people, on the one hand, are obliged not to express their personal opinions, but on the other hand, they are forced not only to listen to the client due to their duties, but also to gently, gradually push him to certain thoughts and conclusions about himself. So you will get a double benefit - you will have an opinion about yourself, the most comfortable for you, and at the same time - the point for the start. In addition, when working with a professional you can adjust those features of relationships that are inherently destructive for them. But for you they are familiar, they are part of your life, and only an outsider who has different experience of relationships and examples can push you to the idea that you can build relationships in another way.
Success and success
Luck is to find the right person, even after a long, difficult relationship and a difficult parting. And success is to determine what you need right now. Do you need someone who would not interfere with a career in the company? Do you need a caring family man who loves children? Finding exactly this, "getting into the goal" is already a success.
I wish you success!