Who is a psychologist?
When they say "psychologist", in fact, most often mean "psychotherapist". "The fact is that the psychologist does not heal, but only helps to understand the specific situation. He has the right to hold no more than five or six meetings. After the latter, complex psychic mechanisms come into play. This requires the specialist more advanced skills and abilities. The psychotherapist is engaged in deep study of problems. Interaction with him can last quite a long time: a few months or even years.
What are you going to do
Reception at the modern psychotherapist is not similar to a scene on a couch familiar on the Hollywood films. Forget about strict psychoanalytics and its long monologues, these are not necessarily attributes of successful work on oneself. In fact, they are typical only for one direction - classical psychoanalysis.
Speak and listen
Words, or "verbal interaction" (as your psychotherapist would say), are important in Gestalt, existential therapy, Jungian analytical psychology, transactional analysis and classical psychoanalysis. With a specialist in these areas, you need to meet once or twice a week to discuss important questions for you. Your communication will be like a long conversation about the painful: unhappy love, fear of aging, difficult relationships with your mother, bad dreams or even the health of your character. You can safely discuss with a specialist all that is now causing you concern. But if you go to a classical psychoanalyst, be prepared for the fact that your story he will listen with a stony face. In this direction it is considered obligatory to maintain the distance between the therapist and the client, so as not to prevent the latter from concentrating on internal experiences as much as possible. Also worth bearing in mind: classical psychoanalysis requires a longer work (in the series do not deceive: a psychoanalyst can walk for ten years).
Draw, play
In art therapy and bodily-oriented approach, work on self is triggered by contact with the physical world. Going through art therapy, you'll begin to sculpt from plasticine, dance and even, perhaps, tinker in the sandbox. In this case, the therapist will not only look at your efforts from outside, but also participate actively in health-improving work. Psychodramatists will play scenes from your life, and the role of a key figure in a personal drama (a former lover or great-grandmother) can be played by a chair (the reception is called a "hot chair"). But, despite this convention, the explanations will be very stormy. With a body-oriented approach, the therapist does not seek to keep a physical distance, so prepare for the fact that during the session you can hold hands, close your eyes and remain silent, watching the inner sensations. Most likely, they will be related to your first contacts with your mother.
How to understand who you need
If you speak better than draw, this does not mean that you need to choose verbal approaches. Perhaps, on the contrary, it is necessary to develop missing skills. Moreover, studies have shown: all the basic methods of psychotherapy give approximately similar results. Yes, and therapists themselves use different approaches in their work, because they want to help you, and not just collect material for a scientific article. For example, a transactional analyst can take advantage of psychodrama and suggest playing a key scene from your life with a "hot chair". And any specialist - ask the question: "What do you feel now, where is the sensation in the body?" It is much more important to choose not the direction, but the experienced and trustworthy therapist. "How is this determined? It is unlikely that a good specialist immediately at the first session will begin to work with a strong resistance. Only after the trust has arisen, work with trauma is possible ". We choose a therapist based on sympathy: "There must be a desire, a craving. A good therapist is healthy, rich and happy. When a doctor is very dissatisfied with something in life, he will either stumble over the same problem of the client, or try to solve his own problems for him.
What will you feel?
You will release many different feelings, positive and not very much. The mood can be upbeat or sad. But, if after the first session you experience rough emotions, it is worthwhile to be on the alert. The first visit to the therapist: you're crying. This is most likely a sign of rough work. Either the therapist does not cope with the problem, or acts too harshly. But, on the other hand, if after five or seven meetings there is a feeling that nothing is happening, it is possible that the therapist has also been chosen incorrectly. It is at the fifth or sixth meeting that you may begin to experience deeper and not always pleasant feelings towards the therapist. This is called "transfer". Emotions and feelings that once felt for mom, dad or other close people, now you transfer to the therapist. And it becomes a kind of screen on which the film is shown about you.
What therapist feels
He, too, may have mixed feelings - "countertransference." Perhaps you will remind him of someone close to him. But he, unlike you, should fully realize the emerging experiences. The difficulty is that a specialist needs to stay at a certain distance from you and do not block his own emotions. In psychotherapy, the most important thing is the creation of a safe and at the same time a full life of space. Follow these difficult rules of the therapist assisted by supervisory assistants (more experienced psychotherapists) with whom difficult cases from practice are being handled. In addition, he can always re-read the "Ethical Code of the Therapist" (Hippocratic oath for psychotherapists), where there is, for example, a ban on "double attitudes", that is, love or friendship outside the cabinet.
Rules of Motion
Do not be afraid to ask questions. After all, you do not care whether the surgeon has a license and disinfects the instruments. And here we are talking not about appendicitis, but about the head, which you can not remove in case of complication. Here are a few things that you should know about your therapist.
Education
A psychotherapist is required to have two educations. One is basic (psychiatry or psychology in specialties, sociology and pedagogy are allowed for certain areas), the second is special, within the framework of one of the methods of psychotherapy. The latter should include not only theory, but also hours of practice.
Therapeutic contract
At the first consultation the therapist is obliged to explain how much it costs, what methods it uses, what the duration of the session is and how long the treatment will last. And he also has to discuss with you the problems of late arrivals and cancellation of meetings. The usual rule: to warn about them no later than a day. In response to a question about the cost of the consultation there can be no statements like: "And how much would you like? We will agree! ». Compliance with the professional framework. To understand if the therapist is not crossing your boundaries, ask yourself the following questions. Is he late for receptions, does he endure them at the last moment? Do not you get the feeling that the therapist talks too much about other patients? Is he trying to enter into other relationships with you and other clients outside the cabinet?
Correctness
You should not have the feeling that you are going too fast. There are lovers of provocative therapy, but it is absolutely unnecessary: you do not have to endure. So, if the therapist makes negative remarks, especially when analyzing difficult situations for you, something like: "What are you crying for? You have to accept responsibility: you were not beaten, you beat yourself, "it is better not to deal with such a specialist.
Professional experience
Better than two or three years. If a person tells you with pride that he has a "two years" experience, it is worthwhile to think about his adequacy. You can ask additional questions about whether he has already worked with cases such as yours.
The presence of a supervisor and the passage of personal therapy
Ask the therapist if he is visiting the supervisor. Ask if he took therapy himself. It is worth to think about whether to continue to communicate, if he gives in response to your question something like "therapy interferes with the spontaneity of work." For some areas, such as psychoanalysis, a certain number of hours of psychotherapy is compulsory.
A serious psychoanalyst
Can be called as such only after 300 hours of personal therapy. For Jungians, the bar is slightly below -250 hours, from the Gestaltists only 240 are required.
Own feelings
Try to honestly answer a few questions. Would you want to communicate with this person if you just met him in a general company? Would he seem smart? Is not there in his facial expressions, gestures, manner of dressing. But still do not go to a man who immediately caused a strong rejection. If five or six meetings have passed, and you are completely unbearable, it is likely that there is no contact. But remember, if you decide to part with this specialist, you should hold a stop-session, on which you will sum up the results of teamwork - and the therapist will certainly recommend a colleague to you.