The kid is given to the kindergarten, the child goes to school, the young man enters the university, the person first goes to work, and years later retires. You are moving to another city, or after many years of living together, your husband leaves you ... All these "turning points" or crises require a person to make decisions, develop new forms of behavior. We have to change, whether we like it or not.
Do you have to get used to the new conditions of life? So, this is a crisis of adaptation. To successfully overcome it, it is important not to rush, to collect a maximum of "information for reflection." Better support your body with vitamins, extra hours of sleep, favorite food. You will see: gradually the crisis will end by itself. This applies equally to a toddler who started to attend a kindergarten, and to an employee who first took the chief's chair. They can help and support their relatives if they listen attentively and kindly to a person who studies a new living space.
Many families go through the so-called "period of a deserted nest". The children grew up and left their home. Parents who are accustomed to living problems of children, suddenly find a lot of free time. They need to find a new meaning of life and new points of contact with each other. Sometimes the difficulties of such a period can provoke a divorce in the spouses, who were united only by cares for children.
Such crises as the "period of a deserted nest" are also called existential or meaning crises. Due to the circumstances, a person loses what was once the core of his existence. It can be the destruction of previous relationships, separation or death of a loved one, loss of work. How to live further? Find a new meaning. If a person can not solve this problem, he will experience a feeling of existential vacuum, inner emptiness. A prolonged interruption in this condition undermines immunity, begins to persecute the disease - doctors call them psychosomatic, that is, caused by psychological causes, and prescribe a tranquilizer to the patient.
The crisis of meaning is often experienced by people who retired, especially if they loved their work. According to statistics, about 70% of older people in one way or another suffer from depression. Exit from the existential crisis will help contacts with people and an active life position. Do not let go of your hands! You have to try yourself in new activities. To travel, meet with classmates and classmates, visit relatives living in other cities and even in other countries. You can change the profession, go back to school, learn a new hobby. For example, one elderly woman helped her daughter raise her daughter. The girl grew up. At some point the woman felt that her family did not need help anymore, that her worries annoyed her daughter and granddaughter. And then she got a job as a nanny and started to educate someone else's 5-year-old girl. Nanny became so friendly with her little ward that they are now inseparable. Life has a new meaning!
Do any of your loved ones suffer from existential depression? Know, now this person experiencing a crisis of meaning, especially in need of attention of loved ones. Do not leave him alone with heavy thoughts! Do not hesitate to bother him with your visits, ask for help, even if you do not need it especially. Feeling that you need someone, gives strength.
... And internal
Now, crises caused by internal causes are age-related crises. Everyone knows the symptoms of the crisis of 3 years: negativism, stubbornness, obstinacy. The child realizes his "I", strives for independence, which contradicts the old way of life, where all decisions were made by adults. The next crisis of 7 years is caused by the fact that the child becomes cramped with his family, he wants society - in the yard, in the school, in the sports section. The crisis of adolescence is devoted to the volumes of psychological literature, and yet the best recommendation is the words: "Be patient, it's not forever."
If children's crises are, as a rule, rather rigidly tied to a certain age, then in adults the age limits of crises are fairly determined.
For example, you studied conscientiously at a university, then continued education in graduate school, got married, shared your time between family and work, successfully made a career and tried to be the keeper of the hearth. Yes, you develop as a professional, and yet not all the goals outlined in your youth are achieved by you, and most of the life path has already been passed. There comes a crisis - a revision of the old attitudes, ideals, goals.
Another example: a woman turns to a psychologist and with tears tells that her husband does not recognize - he suddenly changed completely. She hardly communicates with her. He quarreled with old friends, he conflicts at work. Comes home sullen, closes in his room. Going to go to a Buddhist monastery. "You do not know anything about Buddhism!" - wives his wife. "Nothing, I'll sort it out," her husband protests.
What to advise this woman? The same as the parents of a rebellious teenager, - be patient. Crisis is a temporary phenomenon. Do not argue with her husband, take offense at him. We after all do not take offense at the patient with a heat and we do not persuade him to get out of bed! the task of the closest in this period is to be next to the "sick", discuss with him his experiences, keep from rash actions and yet: be prepared for the fact that your native person will be in something else.
As a caterpillar, turning into a butterfly, freezes, hiding in a chrysalis, so a person needs a time-out during the crisis to understand himself, to realize the global changes that have occurred in his soul.
How to survive the crisis?
It is important to understand that a crisis is a necessary, but not a painful condition. I must admit that it's time to change and change something in my life. This is the time of hard work of the soul, so create a suitable environment for it! Take an example from our smaller brothers: when preparing to pupate, the caterpillar hides in a secluded place, the snake that changes the skin, creeps into the thicket. Do not abuse sedatives, walk alone in nature. "Insights are the children of silence," Yevtushenko wrote. It is internal silence that will help you to move into a new state. The strategy of behavior in this case is the opposite of the one that must be chosen in the existential crisis. Reduce the work load to a minimum, let them lose money, but find a peace of mind. Explain to your family that now you need peace and solitude more than ever.
In a state of crisis, a person has increased conflict: try not to find out the relationship. Keep critical about your words and actions, take good care of your colleagues and respect.
The main mistake of people experiencing the age crisis is an attempt to blame others for their inner discomfort. But blaming others for their problems is a sign of psychological immaturity and infantilism. Do not give up! Ask yourself: "What can this crisis bring to me?" It hurts to part with the old skin. But it is necessary, because it hinders growth.