How to survive the divorce?

When we start a new relationship, we think about anything, but not about a break. When we go to the registry office, each of us wants to believe that the second time he will not return there. We tend to idealize ourselves, loved ones, the world, so life often presents not too pleasant surprises. Divorce is one of them.
Many believe that it is impossible to survive a divorce with minimal losses. We will not talk about the legal aspects of divorce, let's talk about the state of mind, which in rare cases can be called rosy after this event.


Rule number 1. Do not look back.
What's done is done and there's no turning back. Of course, any relationship can be glued together, there would be a desire, but who will be able to trust these fragments? The time that was spent in marriage can be bad and good, different, but it has passed. It is not worth living alone with memories, because real life is happening today, now, and it's very easy to miss.

Rule number 2. Do not figure out the relationship.
Each of the spouses will have something to say to each other after the divorce. It was said a lot before him. But, as is known, after a fight with their fists they do not wave. At this moment it's important to let go of each other. Of course, you will not become strangers so quickly, but you are no longer close. Therefore, you need to leave all grievances, unspoken claims in the past.

Rule number 3. Do not get involved in a free life.
It is not necessary to roll up noisy parties, to seek solace in clubs. It will distract for a while, but then it will get even worse. Everything from the fact that during the family life we ​​learn to belong only to ourselves, we get used to living with an eye for someone, and this unexpected taste of freedom can strike our heads when we are not yet ready for it.
It is better to wait a few weeks and gradually enter into the rhythm of the life of happy bachelors.

Rule number 4. Do not talk nastily about the former.
For sure, everyone will want to discuss with friends the former spouse, to shift all the blame for the collapse of your relationship to him or her. But this is better not to do. First, your friends have already heard enough about him during the divorce. Secondly, by dissolving gossip and shaking out the intimate details of your life before strangers, you exacerbate stress first and foremost.
Therefore - refrain from commenting on the former and live your new life.

Rule number 5. Do not try to return.
After a while, you will seem that you would like to return the relationship, despite the pain that caused each other. Do not succumb to this impulse. History knows many examples, when the couple converged and dispersed many times, having lived as a result of a happy and boring life. Maybe your couple is one of those. But give yourself time to cool down and think carefully. If the desire to try again does not go through six months, try. If it disappears during this time, then there was no effort on your part.

Rule number 6. Do not start a romance.
At first, after a divorce, a relationship with anyone was simply contraindicated. You can be overcome by loneliness , tormented by the fear of remaining without love, the causes of a thousand. And not one of them is so weighty to agree to take risks. You are not ready yet. Even if you need relationships at any cost, think about another person. He is not to blame for the fact that most recently you have experienced an injury and do not deserve the nightmare that you will turn his life into. And it will be so: you will compare the new partner with the former, present to him the same claims that are used. In order for the new relationship to be a joy, there must be time and pain.

Rule number 7. Play a psychologist.
To survive the crisis after a divorce can be in many ways. Why not try the proven ones? Make a joke marriage announcement, but not simple, but based on the bad qualities of those people with whom you had a serious relationship. You will get a visual picture that will help you understand how lucky you are to get rid of such a spouse. In addition, you will know exactly what qualities should not be present in the next chosen one.

Rule number 8. Get enough sleep.
Sleep and time are the best medicines. Force yourself to fall asleep, even if you absolutely do not want to. Sleepless nights are not the best option for those who want to recover faster from stress. Take a bath, drink warm milk or tea with honey, do not look and read before going to bed anything that can negatively affect your mood. The more you sleep in this period, the faster you will recover.

The rule "No. 9. Do not get carried away with alcohol.
Such a serious break in fate as a divorce becomes a reason for drinking, even if before that you were not addicted to alcohol. This is the danger. Temporary euphoria very quickly give way to a depression that is even more intensified by a hangover. And this means that you will be in an even worse position. Divorce is the ideal time to start a new life. What kind of life it will be depends only on you.

Rule number 10. Listen to yourself.
It's foolish to step on your throat to your own song. Time will pass, and you again want to look good, have fun, love and be loved. When these feelings come, complete freedom from past failures will come. It is worth using the moment and catching luck with the tail. There is no more beautiful and enchanting spectacle than a phoenix, reborn from the ashes. At this moment you are like him and have the right to expect a present from a capricious fate.

In fact, surviving a divorce is easy enough. The main thing is to get yourself in hand and the situation in time. If you long to indulge your own weaknesses, justify vices and bad behavior, it will become a habit and there will be no good changes. If, after letting yourself be honestly hurt for a couple of weeks, you decide to make an effort to become a happy person in the future, these efforts will always be justified. In any case, after a few years, these experiences will not be important, and what will happen to you during this time depends only on what you are willing to do for yourself.