How to live a woman after a divorce?


The breakdown of marriage - it is always painful, no matter how long the relationship lasts, and whose guilt was not at the break. However, although you are suffering now, you can recover from the loss and start a new and better life. On how to live a woman after a divorce, how to deal with depression and start a new life and will be discussed below.

Your marriage no longer exists. Accept this fact. You feel just insane pain, resentment, confusion. You are scared for your future and the future of your child. You do not know what to do next, who to believe, whom to love, whom to trust. You ask yourself hundreds of questions, the main ones of which are "What did I do wrong?", "Which of us is more to blame?", "Why did this happen to me?". You are frightened by the prospect of sleepless nights, the fate of a single mother, life for one salary ... So, what can help you recover from an injury after a divorce? Here are a few steps towards freedom and happiness.

1. Allow yourself sorrow, anger and tears

You are a living person. And you do not owe anything to anyone. You do not have to be strong, do not have to hide your feelings and pretend that the divorce has not touched you emotionally. This does not happen. There are always emotions - either anger and hatred, or resentment and despair, or pain and a sense of complete uselessness. The main thing for you at this moment is to remember that the emotional states that currently accompany you are completely natural. In the end, divorce is one of the most serious life crises, the strength of tension at the same time is comparable to the death of a loved one. You thereby have the right to cry, tantrum, crying and apathy.

Do not try to fight the excitement. On the contrary, accept it and live as if you experienced mourning. Do you want to remember what was good in your relationship? This is not harmful, so you can prove to yourself that your marriage was not created in vain. And if your anger explodes like a volcano - do not hold back. Be offended, cry, you can even yell at the chair where he liked to sit. It really brings relief.

2. Do not turn away from family and friends.

It is very important. Even if you want to escape to the end of the world - do not break family ties. It would be very useful to meet with relatives, discuss the situation, express their position, listen to the positions of others. Another good "therapy" is communicating with those who once perceived your take into account. Once divorced girlfriend can become for you a very necessary psychologist who has a specific experience in the matter of life after the divorce. You will see that nothing so encourages as a conversation with someone who knows how to appreciate comfort and a sense of intimacy with family and friends.

3. Do not stifle the pain with alcohol - this step can become fatal.

According to statistics, more than 80% of alcoholic women became such after the divorce or break with their loved ones. To be free from depressing thoughts, find yourself an occupation. For example, go in for sports or oriental dances. Get a dog or a cat - there is no better therapy than communicating with an animal. Just remember - the pain after the divorce will pass through some time, and the animal will be with you very, very much for a long time.

4. Seek help from a therapist.

Do this if you suffer from insomnia, headaches, if you have problems with your appetite, depression, anxiety and self-doubt interferes with your daily life. With the support of specialists (who can also help you pharmacologically) it is easier to find light in the tunnel and stay on your feet after a divorce.

5. Become a protective umbrella for children

Doubling household chores and budget cuts you can face is nothing compared to the fact that the child was left without a father. Much more worrying is the idea of ​​how to live a woman with a child in her arms, how to behave with him, how to protect from feelings. Never forget: your ex-husband still has responsibilities to his child. The fact that they do not live together more does not mean that he suddenly ceased to be a parent. You should not obstruct the communication of the pope with the child, if he wants it. And they should remind him of the duties of the child, if he suddenly "forgot" about it.

Although it can be difficult, calmly agree that your ex-husband will take part in the upbringing and further life of your children. Especially in such important issues as choosing a school or a hospital, a summer camp or a development circle. You should not prevent your father from taking an active part in the daily life of the little ones (for example, taking them out of kindergarten, going to parents' meetings in school, etc.). Remember, it is very important for children to have constant contact with their father. So they do not feel deprived and easier to accept changes in your life.
Explain to children the reasons for your divorce, if you have not already done so. The thing is that children always think that their parents divorced because of them. Especially small children. Their logic is this: "Dad left because I'm bad." You have to convince the child that he is not at fault in the break. Select the words according to the age of the child. But be sure to talk to him. Teenagers perceive the situation a little more clearly. They are already able to assess the real picture of what is happening. Sometimes they do not even resist the fact of parents' divorce when they see that their relationship has no future. Of course, the older the child, the easier it is for him to survive the separation of his parents and the easier it is for you.

6. Gradually start thinking about the future

After the divorce has passed for several months, and you are still stuck on the thought of the past. You constantly think about what happened, feeling sorry for yourself, analyzing everything again and again, trying to find the cause of the gap. Yes, rehabilitation after divorce takes time, but you should at least try to shorten this time. Otherwise, you simply will not have a future. Try to concentrate on what is happening now, as well as on what's ahead. It is not necessary to eradicate all memories. You could be associated with a lot of good, especially if you have children. But for the time in common photos and gifts from him should be hidden on the bottom of the box and removed away. Take care of the current affairs, which have long awaited settlement. Think about what you will do this weekend, for example, how you will conduct the upcoming holidays and vacations in the current year. Also you must take care of yourself and your pleasure.
Do not run yourself. Try to look as good as ever, or even better. Make sure before going out of the house to make a neat make-up, visit the hairdresser or beauty salon regularly. Go shopping and pamper yourself with new trendy clothing items. Remember that this is not an excess, but a way to cope with depression! This is a very important part of your therapy, which will help you regain self-esteem.
Select at least one evening a week for public relations - such as meeting friends at dinner, going to the movies or to relatives who invited you to visit. Do not close in the house and do not shut yourself inside. It will be much more difficult for you to cope with yourself alone. In addition, communicating with friends and "going out into the light," you have more chances for a possible start of a new relationship.

7. Try not to reject the new love

In how women live after the divorce, there is a certain system. They are similar in the main - in mistrust towards men. The less time passed after the divorce - the more distrust this is. You look at the surrounding men suspiciously and reluctantly. One thought that you will love someone again, you seem ridiculous. You do not want anyone. Never. Your pain is too strong. But in fact, you are wrong. New relationships are possible and even necessary.
You should not immediately rush into romance to find a new partner. However, accept the fact that many women, however, build a personal life after the divorce again. And - most importantly - often new relationships are more harmonious and lasting than the first.
Do not be afraid to look for the same opportunity to meet someone interesting. It is worth using your chance to find happiness again. You can even ask for help from marriage agencies and websites recommended by your friends. There is nothing shameful about this. You have the right to be happy, and this is the main vocation of a real woman. Love yourself, accept yourself with all your weaknesses, but have enough strength to go forward. Build your future, shape your happiness - it will not take long to wait.