Sincerely, heartily rejoice at the luck and success of a best friend is sometimes much more difficult than supporting her in a difficult moment. Of course, we often tell ourselves that this is not envy, but it's simply impossible to continue living with it. How to be in this situation?
Psychologists unanimously affirm that there is no one on earth who has never envied anyone at least once in his life. Have you met such people? Envy is a human, perfectly normal feeling, and it appeared in ancient times. It's easier for us not to notice that we envy someone, but sometimes this feeling opens our eyes and makes us think. The degree to which a person is open and mature depends on what he will do with this discovery.
So, what comes out, that envy us for good?
Naturally, like all other phenomena, envy has advantages and disadvantages. There are cases when a woman goes to a cosmetologist only because her neighbor, who is five years older, looks much better. Very often envy makes us get a new, more prestigious job, go for fitness, learn English or enroll in a gym, you will not argue with the fact that it's good?
Why does envy leave a soulless sediment?
When a person envies, he minimizes his psychic risks. Why is this happening? We are envious only when we compare ourselves to someone, and we are in a bad situation compared to another person. If we did not pay attention to this and did not envy, then we would be devoured by feelings of inferiority. And it's just that it would not be possible to do it!
We need to conduct a frank conversation alone with ourselves, analyze the situations that led to this result or even go to a psychologist - for this we need a lot of work on ourselves, internal work. If you decide to become better, then no one will stop you, you will change the value system and rebuild your personality. Of course, working on yourself is hard work, so many people just want to be jealous and sit with folded arms.
The feeling of envy we really need in the form of a pill of a tranquilizer, which helps to numb the pain and recover from the shock. However, all the time to resort to envy is not possible, this is out of the question, otherwise instead of a goal and an incentive, you will get a splinter that will forever settle in your heart, or the hottest, unpleasant sludge.
Throw it all at the fact that life is unfair and sit sljazruki - this is the last thing, remember that the sun shines all the same. You are offended that in your school years, your friend was studying for one of the three, writing off your homework, and now she has her good and big apartment, she likes her high and highly paid position. You think why she deserved all this, because you think that all this should be in your possession, are you worth it? In fact, this is not so. She did not sit with folded arms, and she did not fall on her head. She deserved it, because it all has. Life is a fair piece, and all situations are not accidental. If you go to a meeting with luck, then it moves to you, do not be afraid to make a mistake, trust people and do not be afraid to seem ridiculous and ridiculous ...
So the second side of jealousy is pride?
In most cases, yes. Psychologists with a great deal of experience have noted that people who envy their friends and all around them are afraid to trust someone, they think that they can only rely on and rely on themselves, they are afraid to stumble. Such people almost can not say three magic words: "Please help me." They often refuse what they want, but in no case do they ask for help. In fact, the people who surround us will be happy to help us, it is only necessary to ask, because it is in these situations that they feel that they are necessary and meaningful. After all, when you are ready to accept help, luck goes into your hands.
An important point - in no case should you condemn yourself for being jealous of your girlfriend. We blame ourselves, and this feeling seems to hold our legs and hands together - there can be no movement at all. Think about yourself: there are no ideal people, and so feelings can not be ideal. You are not alone, all people experience certain feelings, including envy, even if they are very successful. Envy will always accompany you, until you forgive yourself for it. Thank nature for the fact that there is this feeling of envy, because you learned that your girlfriend was promoted at work and try to find a good job too, envy makes us better, she helps us change and change our lives for the better.
How to survive the success of a friend, how to direct envy in the right direction?
To begin with, stop comparing yourself with your girlfriend, so there's no point. You can compare yourself only with yourself, but about five years ago. Remember, what kind of person were you, what did you want? Today, for sure, you have most of what you wanted, because this is your achievement. You wanted and received!
Then do not try to have what your girlfriend has. For one person happiness is a happy strong family, and for another - every day to recount large-scale money. You will not become happier if you achieve other people's goals, put forward your own and achieve them. There is no single recipe for success and happiness, because all of us are individual. Trying to have what others have is a bad option, it's still impossible to catch up with a friend. You barely scratch a money car, and your friend will buy a cottage, and what will you do then? Follow your path and pay attention to what is happening in your life, otherwise you can not enjoy the moment of happiness when in old age you will realize that your whole life was played "catch-up" with your girlfriend.
Listen to your heart, it will tell you the right way, that will lead you to success, but there is no desire to be like a friend.
What if they envy you? Are you pleased when someone envies the goods?
You can start to worry about the fact that alienation can destroy all your achievements: a happy family, realized professional dreams, a favorite job and so on.
Perhaps you will be seized with resentment, and you will feel that this is an injustice, because you did not rely on anyone, did not expect manna from heaven, and each day you achieved both material and spiritual benefits with a heavy daily labor. You will not explain to each of your friends, for example, that all your beautiful things you have changed from already out of fashion dresses, at night or for a long time worked to buy them. No one knows how the blessings that you have been given to you are given. Perhaps, the people you envy, have earned all that is still more difficult.
Stop focusing your attention on it, do not attach importance to it. Probably the same girlfriend envies you, because she has money, but there is no such caring and loving person nearby, because love is a bright feeling that not everyone knows, but material wealth can be achieved by being married, from a rented apartment to own house. There is even such a tale, in which the main character struggled with evil, but could not defeat him, and then he understood that you just need to turn your back to him. He stopped hunting witches and dragons, and he simply began to live and enjoy life. As a result of goodness, so much has become that the body could not withstand the tension and itself disappeared. So do you: stop counting other people, counting their money and looking at them in the soul, live your life, and then you will not feel envy, you yourself will devote more time to yourself and your loved ones. The main thing is that your life rejoice you, and bring only the most good and positive emotions!